My 7-year-old son approached me in the kitchen with a look of great pride on his face.
Son: Did you see that I helped feed Corrie? I was really helpful, wasn't I?
Me: Yes, thank you.
Son: So what do I get?
Me: Your mother's deep appreciation.
Son: [long, disappointed pause] Anything else?
Here's another one:
After dinner tonight the kids were being especially LOUD. "BOYS!" I shouted, exasperated, and speaking slowly for emphasis. "MOM...WANTS...QUIET." Joseph looked up at me innocently and said, "JOSEPH...WANTS...LOUD."
Last one, I promise. This is from our Family Archives Of Funniest Kid Stories.
A couple of years ago, Adam (then 5) had drawn a poster for a poster contest in Sunday school. On it, he drew a picture of the earth, and at the top was a picture of Jesus on the cross. There were tears rolling down Jesus' face, and big scary nails poking out of His hands. We listened as he showed it to his brother Stephen in the backseat. Stephen asked, "Why is He crying?" "Because," Adam answered, "He was hoping the bad guys would use tape."