I know it's a bit existential of me to blog about blogging, but it's irresistible. This blogging phenomenon fascinates me so that I can't seem to go too long without psycho-analyzing its mechanics, and its ramifications.
In many ways, this blog has helped me become more transparent in real life. It's no small thing to publish a picture of the floor of your closet for all of Bloggityville to see. Yet in other ways, I find I'm becoming more private. I'm becoming more aware that once I have shared something--online or in person--it's out there. It cannot be taken back. Blogging has made me think about how my words and action impact the privacy of others, particularly my family.
Every now and then I cringe when I read the words that mothers share about their children. IT CAN'T BE TAKEN BACK. I think of this often when I choose what I will publish. As my children's chief advocate, I think of myself as the guardian of their privacy until they are older enough to decide which of the finer details of their lives should be up for public discussion. My two older boys spend time in a computer lab at school and have been known to log on to their Mom's blog there (Hi, boys! I love you! Now get back to work!) Before I hit publish, I always stop and think if my words would embarrass them as they sit in their computer labs with their friends next to them. If I ever do over-step my bounds (which I probably have and probably will again), I have a bit of "safety net" in place by never using their real names or faces on this blog.
Having said all of this, I don't mean to indicate that it's wrong to blog about serious issues regarding our children. It's a case-by-case situation. Sometimes, sharing a hurdle might bring encouragement to other parents or a lesson about God's provision. Sometimes, our kids' privacy should trump that greater good. It's the responsibility of a thinking parent to use common sense in this regard and to consider with prayer and restraint what is and is not appropriate.
And that, my friends, is my unsolicited advice for the day. Blog on.
Very Well Said!
Posted by: Adventures In Babywearing | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 12:07 AM
OK, so now I am dying to know what you read that prompted this post.
Mary, cuz I'm nosy like that.
Posted by: owlhaven | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 12:29 AM
Although I'm totally NOT expecting you to actually say, because that would spread the news of whateveritwas everywhere....
So it's OK....
But. I'm still curious.
Mary, who apparently is also very tired and needs to pack her woozy typing fingers off to sleep
(nigh-night)
Posted by: owlhaven | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 12:32 AM
That has been one of my guiding principles since I started blogging. Frankly, I think it should be one of our guiding principles in all of aspects of our lives.
Posted by: Kim from Hiraeth | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 07:16 AM
Very well said.
Posted by: Aunt Murry | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 07:29 AM
I know, I always think about that, he's still little but still. I want him to be able to read my entire blog when he is older and be glad for the memories, not shocked or anything that I would have put xxxxxxx on the web, you know?? I don't use his real name either, little as he is.... why make it easier?? ;)
Posted by: MamaDuck | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 07:38 AM
Ha ha just wait until they are old enough to blog about you! They won't offer you the same courtesy-- but I agree with what you say.
~Leslie
Posted by: Leslie | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 08:34 AM
Well put!
Posted by: Susanne | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 08:54 AM
Shannon, this is really thought-provoking; thanks for taking the high road and gently reminding all of us to honor our family's privacy. Sometimes it's easier to "honor" them in a post on a blog than it is to actually do the real-life work of it, day in and day out.
It is a fine balance, isn't it?
Posted by: Sarah's in the Midst of It | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 09:06 AM
It is so true that we need to "watch" what we say.
I know that I have many friends and family members who read my blog. I kind of have a philosophy that if my Dad and my Hubby can read my blog without me or them being embarrased, I am ok!
Posted by: Domestic Goddess | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 10:44 AM
Shannon,
Thank you for writing that post! It made me see that the way I was already feeling about a post I had made was right, and hopefully it will help others see that, too.
Posted by: Jill | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 10:57 AM
Thank you. This is my goal as well, but you have me rethinking a recent post about ds.
Posted by: dcrmom | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 11:26 AM
Words, spoken or otherwise are forever! Good post!
Posted by: Faith | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 11:45 AM
i agree with your thoughts. there's a pegnant coworker who sits near me and she keeps saying she's mad she's having a baby girl, because she really wants a boy. i cautioned her to not say this, especially in front of her family and older children. these words can hurt both her current daughter and soon-to-be daughter. sheesh, just be happy the baby is healthy.
i rarely blog about my kids. my desire to protect them is so great i keep most of these things private. sometimes i'll have a whole blog to post and i delete it instead of bearing my soul too much.
thanks for your blog. i enjoy reading it and i learn things, along the way :0)
Posted by: mckay | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 02:57 PM
This is going to sound awful, but I've been known on occasion to specifically post to embarass my child with a post, also for him as a reminder years from now, if my blog is still around, and he's a parent and interested in what I've written, how awful it feels to watch your only child trying to self destruct with alcohol.
Posted by: janet | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 06:33 PM
Amen, Shannon. This really made me stop and think about some things I've written, or even said to other adults in the presence of my kids. Thank you for the reminder that we can't ever "unring a bell."
I do post about my kids sometimes - mostly pictures and stories for my long-distance family to stay in touch. But from now on, I will double-check myself about how much I reveal about them. Thanks again.
Posted by: Kelley | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 08:21 PM
Just deleted something from my site after reading your post..... It's true that protecting others' privacy in this world wide blogosphere is the decent thing to do.
Posted by: Lilly | Friday, October 06, 2006 at 10:30 PM
I agree, I don't use names (what is the purpose?) and I usually only blog about good things (unless I say what having teenagers are like IN GENERAL). I don't give specifics, unless someone asks if I had to deal with a certain issue (then that would be held in a private email).
Posted by: Laurel Wreath | Saturday, October 07, 2006 at 10:29 AM
Too true, that's why I don't have kid pics and real names up either. It's hard to remember that bloggityville (love that term) is the whole world!! Sometimes when we are writing away safe and sound in our little office/computer space we forget the millions of potential viewers. Good post, thanks for sharing.
Posted by: mira | Saturday, October 07, 2006 at 12:07 PM
I agree about it being a safe place to have your kids read. Mine are often grinning when they read about themselves. I always have them preread to see if they mind or have something to add. Just recently I did a long series of posts about our one year in public school and I included each of their perspectives. I also asked them to read the whole thing and give it their stamp of approval.
Posted by: Kim | Saturday, October 07, 2006 at 04:43 PM
Since my blog is FOR my someday-grown children, I keep thoughts of privacy at the forefront of my mind.
I have blogged about the mild, common irritations of childhood dynamics on occasion because I feel like sharing the beautiful without the truth of the difficult would be a false witness, and I do not want to leave my mommies-in-the-making a falsely-idealistic witness of motherhood.
Oh! But the hilarious things I refrain from posting! Some things are just too personal -- even about the 4-foot-tall-and-under set.
Posted by: Grafted Branch | Saturday, October 07, 2006 at 11:14 PM
I'm guilty of using my kids names and photos because the blog started as a way to keep our out of state friends & family in touch. I've thought about going back and deleting the whole blog and starting fresh without using their names or faces, but that just wouldn't be my little family blog. 99% of the time that is what I write about---my kids, our family, our homeschool adventures, our trips, our whatever. I know alot of you use nicknames and black out your kids faces---which is fine if that is what you feel led to do. Anyhow, just another view from the other side of the fence. I don't blog with my kids names and pictures because I'm a horrible mother. I just don't stress out over it as much as some people (and maybe I should...)
Posted by: Lindsey @ enjoythejourney | Sunday, October 08, 2006 at 07:59 PM
Very good thoughts...I too have become a little more choosy over what I say in the past year that I've been blogging. I have erased posts because of things said in them, but you're right, it's out there.
Posted by: Tammy S. | Monday, October 09, 2006 at 03:04 PM
As usual ... well said. It applies to our everyday lives and how we interact with our children, as well!
Could you possibly post something bad? Just once? So we can say ... "Man, Shannon ... that was really, REALLY bad!"
Just once?
Posted by: GiBee | Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 12:15 PM
It never dawned on me until I just read what you wrote about becoming more private in person. I'm becoming more private too. I think what you wrote is well said. I just come from someone else's blog who wrote about similar things.
Posted by: The Wooden Porch | Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 11:23 PM