Things I Am Not Buying For Christmas Gifts, but OH MY WORD, I Am Tempted

First, we have the Left Behind gym shorts.  This picture is the BACK of the shorts...get it?  Left behind?

Or what about Scrolling LED Rhinestone Jewelry, seen at right?  You can program in your own little message for all the world to see.  Now that I think about it, this might be handy for a mom.  All those sentences you repeat 439 times a day you could just program RIGHT INTO YOUR BELT BUCKLE:  "Shut the door and stop heating the neighborhood!" or "Don't stand on your brother's face!"  See?  Classy and practical.

You might be happy to see this next thing tucked in your stocking if, like me, you occasionally find yourself a bit stessed and snippy on Christmas morning.  It's the Wash Away Your Sins Moist Towlette!  How very handy.

Wearing this next gift idea, you'd be a real hit at the next PTA meeting.  It's a leather bracelet embossed with a skull and crossbones! Just what all the mommybloggers today are wearing! 

Then there's everything at this site.  ALL OF IT.  This stuff makes me laugh out loud.

Earlier tonight I was watching TV and saw an ad suggesting that we all buy our loved ones lottery tickets.  For Christmas.  Yes, because nothing says O Holy Night like the Oklahoma Powerball, baby.

So, what clever gift ideas are you resisting the urge to buy for the joker on your list?