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Why I Don't Post Picture Of My Kids *UPDATED*

Please note:  This post is not intended to be read by children.

I get asked rather often why I've chosen not to post pictures of my kids on my blog, so it seemed easier to answer it out front, in a post.  I have not made this decision out of some vague sense of alarm; my reasons are specific (and, I'll warn you, disturbing).  In several places, I've disguised some words using asterisks, to prevent creepy Google searches--I'm sorry if this makes it hard to read.  And, to be accurate, I should say that I don't post pictures of my kids' faces.  Any picture I use of them is from the back or has their faces blocked out using Photoshop.

Thankfully, something happened very early in my blogging experience that tipped me off to an important reality in the blogosphere.  Someone came to my site via the Google search "lit*tle bo*ys in dres*ses."  I could tell, from my site meter, that this visitor spent a good bit of time going through my archives, though I'd prefer not to imagine what he or she was specifically searching for, and with what intentions. 

Here's the harsh truth:  unless your site is password-protected, you have no control over who visits your blog.  And while our little mommy-blog corner of the blogosphere appears to be (and largely is) a very safe and happy place, the fact is that we moms use harmless words in our posts that could draw in the Google searches of ped*phi*les--words like baby, toddler, diaper, bathtub.

That's disturbing enough, but it gets worse.

I've learned from personal experience that someone can "lift" a picture off your site and Photoshop it in whatever way they want.  A bloggy friend-of-a-friend posted a picture of her child in its diaper, only to find months later it had been lifted and posted to a page for people with fet*ish*es in this area.  A few months ago, I had my own taste of this kind of creepiness.  A blogger wrote a profane "review" of my blog, and he edited a picture of me in a way that was intended to be hurtful.  In his earlier posts about other bloggers, he had lifted pictures of their kids and edited them in equally insulting ways.  It was a brutal lesson in what someone with Photoshop skills and questionable intentions is capable of. 

If I had pictures of my kids on my site, what would prevent someone from lifting it and editing it in whatever way they pleased?  Nothing, as it stands now.  Software does exist which allows you to protect your photos from lifting off your page, but (as I understand--correct me if I'm wrong) it's very expensive and complicated.  The best defense is never to post the pictures in the first place. 

Is it possible that I'm over-reacting?  I don't believe I am, but I'll allow for the possibility that I'm being a bit too jumpy.  When it comes to security issues, though, I will ALWAYS err on the side of caution.  And it's a shame--I'd love to show you photos of my kids.  Goodness knows I have some photos that are great blog fodder.  But it's simply not worth it to me, even if the risk is small.  I do post pictures of my kids on a password-protected, family website that everyone in my extended family has access to (and they all post pictures of their kids as well).  It's safe, and it serves the purpose of letting family get frequent and current pictures. 

This issue, like every parenting decision, is intensely personal.  I've simply addressed the issue with the best thinking I have as it relates to my kids and my blog.  I don't "judge" parents who decide differently.  The only hard-and-fast advice I would give to any parent is to consider this very carefully, with your eyes wide open as to the reality of the blogosphere (in particular) and the Internet (in general).

* * * * * * * * * *

UPDATED TO ADD:

For an explanation of how to find out who is spending time on your site, read this post.  As for finding a safe option to share your photos with family, I'd recommend MyFamily.com.  My extended family has used it for years; we can all post news, photos, birthdays, etc.  I believe it costs about $30/year--money very well spent.  You could also do a password-protected blog, which is an easy option in Typepad (anyone know if it's an option in Blogger?) 

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