Why I Don't Post Picture Of My Kids *UPDATED*

Please note:  This post is not intended to be read by children.

I get asked rather often why I've chosen not to post pictures of my kids on my blog, so it seemed easier to answer it out front, in a post.  I have not made this decision out of some vague sense of alarm; my reasons are specific (and, I'll warn you, disturbing).  In several places, I've disguised some words using asterisks, to prevent creepy Google searches--I'm sorry if this makes it hard to read.  And, to be accurate, I should say that I don't post pictures of my kids' faces.  Any picture I use of them is from the back or has their faces blocked out using Photoshop.

Thankfully, something happened very early in my blogging experience that tipped me off to an important reality in the blogosphere.  Someone came to my site via the Google search "lit*tle bo*ys in dres*ses."  I could tell, from my site meter, that this visitor spent a good bit of time going through my archives, though I'd prefer not to imagine what he or she was specifically searching for, and with what intentions. 

Here's the harsh truth:  unless your site is password-protected, you have no control over who visits your blog.  And while our little mommy-blog corner of the blogosphere appears to be (and largely is) a very safe and happy place, the fact is that we moms use harmless words in our posts that could draw in the Google searches of ped*phi*les--words like baby, toddler, diaper, bathtub.

That's disturbing enough, but it gets worse.

I've learned from personal experience that someone can "lift" a picture off your site and Photoshop it in whatever way they want.  A bloggy friend-of-a-friend posted a picture of her child in its diaper, only to find months later it had been lifted and posted to a page for people with fet*ish*es in this area.  A few months ago, I had my own taste of this kind of creepiness.  A blogger wrote a profane "review" of my blog, and he edited a picture of me in a way that was intended to be hurtful.  In his earlier posts about other bloggers, he had lifted pictures of their kids and edited them in equally insulting ways.  It was a brutal lesson in what someone with Photoshop skills and questionable intentions is capable of. 

If I had pictures of my kids on my site, what would prevent someone from lifting it and editing it in whatever way they pleased?  Nothing, as it stands now.  Software does exist which allows you to protect your photos from lifting off your page, but (as I understand--correct me if I'm wrong) it's very expensive and complicated.  The best defense is never to post the pictures in the first place. 

Is it possible that I'm over-reacting?  I don't believe I am, but I'll allow for the possibility that I'm being a bit too jumpy.  When it comes to security issues, though, I will ALWAYS err on the side of caution.  And it's a shame--I'd love to show you photos of my kids.  Goodness knows I have some photos that are great blog fodder.  But it's simply not worth it to me, even if the risk is small.  I do post pictures of my kids on a password-protected, family website that everyone in my extended family has access to (and they all post pictures of their kids as well).  It's safe, and it serves the purpose of letting family get frequent and current pictures. 

This issue, like every parenting decision, is intensely personal.  I've simply addressed the issue with the best thinking I have as it relates to my kids and my blog.  I don't "judge" parents who decide differently.  The only hard-and-fast advice I would give to any parent is to consider this very carefully, with your eyes wide open as to the reality of the blogosphere (in particular) and the Internet (in general).

* * * * * * * * * *

UPDATED TO ADD:

For an explanation of how to find out who is spending time on your site, read this post.  As for finding a safe option to share your photos with family, I'd recommend MyFamily.com.  My extended family has used it for years; we can all post news, photos, birthdays, etc.  I believe it costs about $30/year--money very well spent.  You could also do a password-protected blog, which is an easy option in Typepad (anyone know if it's an option in Blogger?) 

Comments

[Lundie]

Amen!

[smcarney]

Agreed with what you're saying. The "no lifting" software can be as cheap as free, from the right place, but there are ALWAYS ways to get around it.

I, with just mom skills, can lift pix from just about ANY protected sites because of the bits I know. (Not meant to be a brag.)

Whatever else, you have to do what is right for you. Glad to hear your views.

[chilihead]

I think this post is something that bears repeating over and over: be careful and consider your actions. Well-said (written?) as always.

[Joyful Days]

Thanks Shannon. This has been a subject I've been working through as a newbie blogger. The solution that's made me feel better is to run any photo I want to put on the my blog past my dh. But this has made me rethink a few I thought I might use. And I totally appreciate that. Better learning here, reading, than the hard way with experience.

Just got done perusing Blogging Basics 101 for the I don't know how many-"th" time. Many thanks there too.

Blessings,

[Megan]

I appreciate your thoughts on this as well. I'm wondering - how in the world did you find the profane review that some crazy person did of you?

[Kelly]

Thanks for the info! I am still so new at this--it is very helpful.

[Carla]

I know that it is fairly easy to get around the "no-lifting" stuff as well. You've given me something to think about (and I knew these things happened...but well...I've still not made up my mind 100% on what I want to do).

I do watch my stats closely though (mainly because of what you have said).

[Andrew]

Shannon - My sis linked me to this post. I'm going to be a new dad this week and of course I'm already getting ramped up on Flickr to share photos once my son is here. Within a week, I can so see myself flooding the internet with hundreds of pics of baby toes and fingers and tightly clenched eyes. I needed to see this post. And I do unfortunately have bad news for anyone wanting to use software that would prevent a lift. Anything, and I mean ANYTHING that is visible to a would-be predetor on his screen can be saved and manipulated to whatever degree the theive's skills will allow. Passwords and bluring with Photoshop are the best bets.

[~m2~]

Shannon, what wise words you speak here - I would seriously, though, like the lay the smack*down on whoever wrote something nasty about you.

I have friends in High*Places. It could be arranged...

[Chrissy]

A friend reads your site and posted about this subject this morning. From time to time I wonder if it is a good idea to post pics of my brood, but I hadn't paid it too much attention. Thanks for the info and for sharing good reasons not to.

Do you have any suggestions to share pictures otherwise? Thanks!

[Jane]

I whole heartedly agree with your thinking and use it myself. I don't have photoshop to delete the faces of the pictures that I use, so I either crop them out or blot them out using the tool to blot out blemishes.

[Heather]

Well said, Shannon. I think you are wise to consider all of these things. God bless.

[Traci]

Thank you for posting this. That sort of thing happened to me about 4 years ago. It was a public message board, that was flooded by some immature punks. I do have a blog and would love to know how you can tell when someone is digging through your archive. I am new at blogging and just barely have basic skills. Can you please share how we can be aware that someone is doing this?
thanks!
Traci

[LadyBug Crossing]

Ditto!

I don't post pix of the children either for the exact same reason!

LBC

[Trixie]

Thank you for the very enlightening post. I was totally ignorant of all the evil stuff going on with children's pictures! It is just sickening. Can't blame you one bit for not posting.

Take Care,

Trixie

[Monnie]

Scary stuff... you have good reason to worry.

...I would really like to know the google searches that have been done to get to my blog. HOW do you find that out? Do you have a certain type of stat-counter that shows you the searches people've done?

Thanks so much!

[Carol]

I haven't posted a pic of the kids in a long time, but I wonder - what about all the photos used in advertising? It seems like anyone could manipulate the image of a child or baby model, if they're just looking for a face or a baby in diapers or something.

Some people do go to a lot of trouble to feed their wickedness, don't they?

I wouldn't have guessed they'd go to such lengths, though. Thanks for the eye-opener.

[Monnie]

Scary stuff... you have good reason to worry.

...I would really like to know the google searches that have been done to get to my blog. HOW do you find that out? Do you have a certain type of stat-counter that shows you the searches people've done?

Thanks so much!

[TCC]

Thank you Shannon.

I wasn't specifically aware of what could happen but am very aware of the MANY people out there that I don't know who do not hold the same beliefs as me. Sometimes I have been tempted to post pictures because not many people read my blog anyway...but then I look at my precious boys and determine that the slightest risk is not worth it. Call me overprotectively loving!

[Lisa]

This reinforces my belief that should I ever get a digital camera I may show pictures of projects, organizing etc but not my kids!!! Although I must say I DO really like seeing the pictures other Moms proudly post. I'd love to share my "pride" but mine are adopted and sensitive about that.....

[Adventures In Babywearing]

We have a MyFamily.Com site and it is wonderful. Family and friends from all over are able to keep in touch and see what's going on with us. I think it is SO worth it. I am really praying about how I should re-think what I post and have posted on my blog.

[Jeana]

The new Blogger Beta has a setting for your blog where viewers come by invitation only. The have to log in with a Google account.

[Everyday Mommy]

Important information about which every blogger needs to be informed. It is not a safe world in which we live.

[momrn2]

Very well said! I had no idea this was really happening, I just have been hesitant because of my own personal experiences. Glad to know I made a good choice.

Yes, the new blogger version allows a blog to be set up that is password protected. In fact, I have done just that for my immediate family as well. It seems to be working great. One makes it password protected in the settings after they have created the blog. I'd be happy to assist anyone in setting a site up.

Again, thanks for such an honest and real post. Scary, Sick world!

[Homeschool Mama]

Thanks for writing about this. I have been very careful on my blog not to use our names or pictures, but I hadn't thought about the pics on my brother's site. I asked him to take all of my kids' pics off. Hopefully, I won't be causing a family riff with that request. But, my children, my rules...