Grammatically Speaking

This post was originally published on August 29, 2006.

My mom is an English teacher.  "Ahhhhh," you're saying, "NOW I get it."

I grew up in a rural Arkansas town where poor grammar is as much a part of life as Friday night football.  Combine the two, and you had the weekly chant from the stands, as the refs carefully measured a play, "MOVE THEM CHAINS!  MOVE THEM CHAINS!"  Not my mother.  She instructed my brother and me that oh-yes-ma'am our family chants, "MOVE THOSE CHAINS!  MOVE THOSE CHAINS!"  We stood out a little, but around our house, it was appropriate to fall on your sword for good grammar. 

And it rubbed off on me, definitely.  The most romantic thing that happened to me in adolescence was a secret admirer who, for a period of a couple of weeks, covered my '78 powder blue Pontiac Grand Prix with flowers overnight, every night, as it sat in our driveway.  The first morning, when my mother and I dashed out to investigate, we snagged the note that was tucked under the windshield.  It read,

Shannon,

These are for you; I hope you enjoy them. 

E.B.T.

My mother and I, equally giddy, looked at each other and squealed, "HE USED A SEMI-COLON!"

So it should come as no surprise that my sweet Joseph crawled into my lap sniffling last week.  "Mom," he whimpered, "I hurt my toe badly." 

"Oh, sweet boy," I said, rubbing his foot.  "I'm so proud of you for using an adverb."

Comments

[Leslie]

I was catching up on your blog until I saw the Lost post. I am on the third episode of the 3rd season. So, I can't read your blog for a month or so, just knowing that all I have to do is scroll down the page and I'll know what is going on may be too much for me. I have to comment on this post so I won't read the Lost post.

My husband and I are hooked badly.

[Pass the Torch]

I love this post. I remember it the last time you posted it, and caught my son doing the same thing.

I was also very proud;)

[mombo]

Got to love a well placed punctuation mark!

[Antique Mommy]

I tell Sean that even though people we know and love routinely make use of the double negative and improper verb tense (it seems to be the local vernacular) the Antique's do not because it makes Mommy's teeth hurt.

[TheCoordinizer]

Amen! I'm with you on all counts.

Love this blog!
R

[Nikki]

That is so funny. When I first met my husband, the only thing I could find wrong with him was his grammar, and I actually argued with God about it! Now I've influenced him just a little and he's really rubbed OFF ON me. Cute story.

[Granny]

Oh my goodness, I SO identify with both you AND your mother. In this day and age it's almost hopeless to convince people to say or write things like, "He came to talk to my mother and ME." Sometimes I feel as if I'm swimming upstream, but at least most of my children are turning into grammar mavens in their own circles :-)

[edj]

You must have loved the women from the Series of Unfortunate Events who was willing to die rather than let bad grammar pass! :) As did I.

Also, have you read "Eats, Shoots and Leaves?" If not, you must. You will LOVE LOVE LOVE the introduction. You will find a kindred soul.

[Tara]

You can see the hair on my husband's neck stand up straight when our pastor says, "Jesus died for you and I" or something like that. Move the "Shoots" book up on your reading list. You'll love it.

[Melanie]

I think semi-colons are genetic.

[Julie]

Hilarious post today! As a high school English teacher, I thoroughly enjoyed it! When my husband writes me notes, he often includes a rough draft along with the final copy, just to spite me! :)

I've got to check out this book several commenters have mentioned. It sounds like something I'd enjoy!

Your blog is so entertaining each day! Keep up the good work!

[ali]

you are a woman after my own heart :)

while watching October Road last night, i got really angry at my tv. the DEAN of the college used "i" instead of "me"

[Tamara Cosby]

I have an English teacher in the family. I find myself somewhere between confused about grammar, and excited about grammar. *Sigh* I cannot stand improper use of certain words...my latest example: picture this, we are sitting outside of Wal Mart (the very essence of royalty mind you) selling Girl Scout cookies. My very well mannered Girl Scout asks the patron if she would like to purchase some cookies to which the lady responds "I done got some.". What a world, what a world.

[Ginger]

Oh my, I had a '77 powder blue Pontiac Grand Prix. It was like a boat. Two door with vinal seats. But I had a car so that was all that mattered.

[MyDerbe]

Hilarious! I am also a self-professed grammar nerd. And I can totally understand the semi-colon attraction. :) I feel that way when people say, "I couldn't care less" instead of the more popular "I could care less."

And when my children use adverbs properly, my heart is also warmed.

[Anna]

I have a soft heart towards correct grammar, too! Like when my husband, who is not the greatest speller in the world, carefully uses there, their, and they're in the correct form! Now, that's romantic! ha ha

[Stacey]

I remember this one!!

[Deena]

LOL!! I was an English major in college, and I'm always correcting my family...my husband ASKS for correction!!

We were at Bible study and it was getting intense...then a graphic flashed on the screen...

With a HUGELY mispelled word...immediately, I lost my train of thought, leaned over to my husband and whispered, "Do you see that?"

He chuckled and said, "Only you, Deena. Only you."

[Rosie]

My mother-in-law tells the story of her first love interest. He was from a neighboring town and wrote a long letter professing his love. She, in a sincere effort to be helpful and kind, corrected all his grammatical and spelling errors and mailed the letter back. Needless to say, she never heard from him again.

[Lady S]

I am the grammar queen in my circle (although, my spelling leaves something to be desired) and am forever correcting people (usually my family and friends). This isn't so bad with my second graders, but most adults don't appretiate (see, can't spell) my corrections.

[Lei]

Lol! Only out of a writing mom's mouth! :)

[Polly]

My first boyfriend in college attended a college about 3 hours away. We both lived in the same hometown. He would write letters to me in between visits home. After the 3rd horrible letter from him I could not take it any longer. His cuteness did not make up for his poor grammer and spelling. We just had to part company.
Fast forward 10 years. My husband's spelling is perfect. Thanks to spell check. And his grammer is usually right on. So, I can appreciate and enjoy his emails and letters to me.

[Haden]

I know what it's like to have parents that take correct grammar seriously. This made me laugh. = )

[Tammi K]

Overheard the little ones the other day:
Kiddo 1: Do you think Mom will let us be done?
Kiddo 2: She will if you're the Christmas turkey. Remember food is done...we're finished!

[Nic]

Lovely.
It was eye-opening to come to Southern Indiana and feel like I was the one with the best English grammar there. I was lucky enough to learn English from books and univerity-educated teachers. Remarks like "Go get you them books from the library" just cracked me up.