Because You Can't Take It Back

I know it's a bit existential of me to blog about blogging, but it's irresistible.  This blogging phenomenon fascinates me so that I can't seem to go too long without psycho-analyzing its mechanics, and its ramifications.

In many ways, this blog has helped me become more transparent in real life.  It's no small thing to publish a picture of the floor of your closet for all of Bloggityville to see.  Yet in other ways, I find I'm becoming more private.  I'm becoming more aware that once I have shared something--online or in person--it's out there.  It cannot be taken back.  Blogging has made me think about how my words and action impact the privacy of others, particularly my family.

Every now and then I cringe when I read the words that mothers share about their children.  IT CAN'T BE TAKEN BACK.  I think of this often when I choose what I will publish.  As my children's chief advocate, I think of myself as the guardian of their privacy until they are older enough to decide which of the finer details of their lives should be up for public discussion.  My two older boys spend time in a computer lab at school and have been known to log on to their Mom's blog there (Hi, boys!  I love you!  Now get back to work!)  Before I hit publish, I always stop and think if my words would embarrass them as they sit in their computer labs with their friends next to them.  If I ever do over-step my bounds (which I probably have and probably will again), I have a bit of "safety net" in place by never using their real names or faces on this blog. 

Having said all of this, I don't mean to indicate that it's wrong to blog about serious issues regarding our children.  It's a case-by-case situation.  Sometimes, sharing a hurdle might bring encouragement to other parents or a lesson about God's provision.  Sometimes, our kids' privacy should trump that greater good.  It's the responsibility of a thinking parent to use common sense in this regard and to consider with prayer and restraint what is and is not appropriate. 

And that, my friends, is my unsolicited advice for the day.  Blog on.

This post was originally published on October 6, 2006.

Comments

[Barbie]

Funny I just blogged about internet safety. I wonder how many people realize how EASY it is to find them.

[Joyful Days]

This is an awesome post to re-run, Shannon. I think for me, I also try to look at IRL relationships I have and how I would feel if they read what I write. I think it is easier, though to overlook the children, since this blogging thing is a bit more of a "grown-up" pass-time.

Good words.

Hope you are feeling some relief from carb withdrawal. I am inspired. Looking forward to reading your results!

~Blessings!

[kelli]

As the mother of *gulp* two teens (my baby just turned 13 last week)- I totally agree.

I'm careful about what I put up about them, and I always *ask first* regardless.

It's too the point where, say something happens in the car- One may say "You've just been blogged!". It gives the other time to say "Mooooooooooooooooooom nooooooooooooooooooooooo!". Off limits it becomes :)

[Dootz]

As a dad of three boys (8, 6.5, and 4), this is a good caution to me to think before I click .

*******
http://surfcountry.blogspot.com

[Viscountess]

Thanks for this thought. Isn't this a good rule about our extended and church family also? It's a challenge that I don't always live up to, but I try very hard. When in doubt, I don't post it.

[MamaToo]

great points. I originally started my blog so that I could easily share photos and updates on the kids, and I guess I assumed that nobody really is reading it. Thanks for pointing out the realities of online stuff, too.

[Adventures In Babywearing]

I totally agree. Same goes for what I post about my husband, too!!!

Steph

[Granny]

I've had so many of the same thoughts in the past two years...especially regarding the sense that once I've shared something about myself it's "out there" and can't be taken back. I'm not the kind that can be hugely introspective on my blog. I admire those who can, but for me it has to be a different kind of experience. Nevertheless, it HAS made me more transparent and more thoughtful and it's certainly made me more aware of the power of the written word!

[An Ordinary Mom]

I think more people need to think more before they hit the publish button.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They are very wise!

[Liza]

Wise words. Even though I was very caeful blogging about my kids and husband in my original format of my blog, my husband requested that I should not blog about them. In respect for their privacy, I changed my blog format. I get less people visiting my blog than I used to when I was a mom blog posting photos of my cute kids (I was very selective then) and talking stories about my family (I don't think I blogged about sensitive stuff then)...but that's ok. Anyway, I know I am erring on the safe side because even though I can still blog about my kids for as long as I don't blog about sensitive issues, I have respected my husband's request and stopped blogging about our family life. Anyway...

[singinole]

i agree with steph from adventures in babywearing...i don't have any kids yet, but i'm very conscious of how i speak of those i love. especially my husband. yes, "the blog" is a place to vent, get encouragement, etc. but never at the expense/embarassment of others.

[Amanda]

I agree totally! Up until recently, my blogging was completely anonymous: no photos, personal info... Nothing whatsoever that could be related back to me. But it is difficult to keep up such a seperate persona.

My new blog and format are now more personal, and it is easier to write. But I write nothing that I wouldn't want my family/friends/future employers to read!!!

[llamamomma]

Thank you for a great post -- and blog! I read the "security" posts and found them so helpful! I keep my blog anonymous and photo-free, but couldn't explain why. Now I know. thank you!!