Rocks In My Dryer

Yes, There ARE Still Places Like This

I needed some recharging this weekend, and I got it.  While Hubs was out of town, the kids and I spent a quiet weekend with my parents in my old hometown, in the hills of rural Arkansas (let's call it Mayberry, for good reason.)

My dad grew up there, and my grandfather, and my great-grandfather.  It's a very small town of about 4,000 people--the kind of place where old men hang out at the gas station to drink coffee and everyone in town goes to the Friday night football games.  When I was in college, my dad sent me a copy of the weekly town paper, and one week a "bandit squirrel" causing some property damage made the front page. It's that kind of place.

When I lived there, of course, I couldn't wait to leave.  I thought it was dull and small-minded.  And to be sure, though it's easy to romanticize living in a Mayberry-esque, small, southern town, life isn't as uncomplicated as one might think.  There is little privacy.  My mother tells the story of, when she first moved to Mayberry after marriage, her next-door neighbor came over to compliment her on her lovely new towels.  Towels? my mother wondered, until she realized the neighbor had been inspecting what she was hanging on the clothesline in the backyard.

Now that I no longer live there, it's easier to dwell on my hometown's charm.  As I strolled the streets this weekend, camera in hand (and laughing as passing cars slowed down--I knew I would probably be dinnertime conversation at more than one table as folks discussed who was the strange lady with the camera), I felt the refreshment that can only come from touching our own roots.  I'm not that young girl anymore--I don't want to be.  But something in me just rests when I visit the place where I was completely carefree, not forced to make any decisions or take care of anyone else. 

And so, today, I'm thankful for that little town that used to frustrate me so much.  I'm thankful to  know there's still a place where the beauty parlor is a scene straight out of Steel Magnolias, and a lady taking pictures on the sidewalk is a reason to slow down your car.  Thanks, Mayberry.

This post was originally published on May 14, 2006.

The Truth Hurts

This past weekend Hubs and Adam went on a father/son camping trip, so I took the other kids with me to my parents' house, three hours away.  We were making good time.  Corrie was napping, and the boys were happily watching a DVD.  It was possible I'd break my record for drive time to their house. 

Toward the end of the trip, Stephen leaned forward and noticed how fast efficiently we were haulin' driving.  "Mom, what's the speed limit here?" he asked curiously.  "Fifty-five," I told him.  He leaned forward to see the speedometer.  "It looks like you're going nearly seventy," he observed.  And then to himself, "I wonder if God minds?"

Busted.

(Yes, I aplogized to him.  And I slowed down.  And I didn't beat my record.  And I began to wonder if I was going to finish my journey as a parent someday with even an ounce of pride left.)

This post was originally published on October 3, 2006.

Because You Can't Take It Back

I know it's a bit existential of me to blog about blogging, but it's irresistible.  This blogging phenomenon fascinates me so that I can't seem to go too long without psycho-analyzing its mechanics, and its ramifications.

In many ways, this blog has helped me become more transparent in real life.  It's no small thing to publish a picture of the floor of your closet for all of Bloggityville to see.  Yet in other ways, I find I'm becoming more private.  I'm becoming more aware that once I have shared something--online or in person--it's out there.  It cannot be taken back.  Blogging has made me think about how my words and action impact the privacy of others, particularly my family.

Every now and then I cringe when I read the words that mothers share about their children.  IT CAN'T BE TAKEN BACK.  I think of this often when I choose what I will publish.  As my children's chief advocate, I think of myself as the guardian of their privacy until they are older enough to decide which of the finer details of their lives should be up for public discussion.  My two older boys spend time in a computer lab at school and have been known to log on to their Mom's blog there (Hi, boys!  I love you!  Now get back to work!)  Before I hit publish, I always stop and think if my words would embarrass them as they sit in their computer labs with their friends next to them.  If I ever do over-step my bounds (which I probably have and probably will again), I have a bit of "safety net" in place by never using their real names or faces on this blog. 

Having said all of this, I don't mean to indicate that it's wrong to blog about serious issues regarding our children.  It's a case-by-case situation.  Sometimes, sharing a hurdle might bring encouragement to other parents or a lesson about God's provision.  Sometimes, our kids' privacy should trump that greater good.  It's the responsibility of a thinking parent to use common sense in this regard and to consider with prayer and restraint what is and is not appropriate. 

And that, my friends, is my unsolicited advice for the day.  Blog on.

This post was originally published on October 6, 2006.

Proving That Kids WILL Find Something About Which To Tattle

My five-year-old son actually shouted/whined this sentence at me from the backseat today:

"MOM-M-M!  Stephen is smiling at me!"

This post was originally published on October 12, 2006.

The De-Tox Made Me Do It

Remember a few years ago, when the El Nino weather system came through, and authorities blamed it for everything from hurricanes to coffee prices to Oscar nominations? 

A similar phenomenon occurs when one is wickedly cruel motivated enough to decide that a low-carb lifestyle is the right choice for her family.  They warn you about the fatigue and the moodiness that occurs as you go through the first couple of weeks of "carb de-tox".  They do not warn you that you feel so lousy you develop a persecution complex that makes you blame everything--even irrational things--on the lack of energy-giving carbs coursing through your system. 

"Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry that I just bit your head off (and chewed it up and spit it back out).  This lack of carbs has me a little irritable..."

"My throat really hurts.  Must be the de-tox."

"Hmmm, I thought that skirt was on sale.  I bet when I re-introduce whole grains to my diet the price will come back down."

"Iran is developing a nuclear weapon?  Probably wouldn't be happening if I could eat rice."

I am hoping that this ridiculous wave of self-pity accounts for the massive case of blog-fatigue that I've suffered lately.  Frankly, I feel about posting the same way I feel about eating a plate of eggs: IF I EVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN I WILL PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL.  Maybe it's carb-related, maybe it's just good old-fashioned burnout; either way, something's gotta give. 

I'm going to take a few days off and try to gather my thoughts.  Or un-gather them, as the case may be.   

Y'all be good.  I'll be back before you can say "glycemic index". 

Baby Nightclubs. Yes, You Read That Correctly.

This is bizarre on so many levels that I don't know where to start.  Dance clubs for toddlers? 

Capitalizing on Gen-X parents' appetite for all things hip, bands like the Terrible Twos, the Sippy Cups and the Dirty Sock Funtime Band are doing shows that make Mom and Dad feel less like June and Ward Cleaver and more like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.

Number one, if hip-ness is this much of a priority for parents, then they've got some serious troubles ahead. 

Number two, what in the heck is wrong with being June and Ward Cleaver?

To accommodate the stroller set, nightclubs have to make a few adjustments—like making sure floors are cleared of last night's broken glass.

MAKING SURE THE DANCE FLOORS ARE CLEARED OF LAST NIGHT'S BROKEN GLASS?  Red flags, anyone?

Don't they grow up fast enough as it is?

In Honor Of Joseph...

...the boy-est boy I know, and a very important SIX years old today:

WHAT IS A BOY?  by Alan Beck

Boys come in assorted sizes, weights, and colors. They are found everywhere – on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older brothers and sisters tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.

A boy has the appetite of a horse, the digestion of a sword swallower, the energy of a pocket size atomic bomb, the curiosity of a cat, the lungs of a dictator, the imagination of Paul Bunyan, the shyness of a violet, the audacity of a steel trap, the enthusiasm of a firecracker, and when he makes something he has five thumbs on each hand.

He likes ice cream, knives, saws, Christmas, comic books, the boy across the street, woods, water (in its natural habitat), large animals, Dad, trains, Saturday mornings, and fire engines. He is not much for Sunday school, company, schools, books without pictures, music lessons, neckties, barbers, girls, overcoats, adults, or bedtime.

Nobody else is so early to rise or so late to supper. No one else can cram into one pocket a rusty knife, a half eaten apple, three feet of string, an empty Bull Durham sack, two gumdrops, six cents, a slingshot, a chunk of unknown substance, and a genuine supersonic code ring with a secret compartment.

A boy is a magical creature – you can lock him out of your workshop, but you can’t lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but you can’t get him out of your mind. Might as well give up- he is your captor, your jailer, your boss and your master – a freckle faced, pint sized bundle of noise. But when you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes and dreams, he can mend them with two words – “Hi Dad!”            

And Then There Are Days When a Strange Woman Parachutes Out Of The Sky To Tell You That You Are, In Fact, Dead

There's a running joke on the Lost message boards (and I would know, because I hang out there like a dope) that you cannot mention the word Purgatory.  If you do, you will be "shouted" right off the boards--the idea of the island being Purgatory is one of the oldest theories about the Meaning Of The Show, and no one wants to hear it anymore. 

Yet, based on tonight's episode, there actually might be some meat to the whole Purgatory idea based on the fact that Oceanic Flight 815 was found with no survivors.  OR the writers are messing around with the Lost faithful who roll their eyes at that theory.  I vote for the latter.  Lost writers have a history of sending little hat-tips to the Faithful.

What do you think?  Is the island, in fact some sort of cosmic hang-between in the afterlife?  OR is the parachute girl just another person working for the Others, messing with the minds of our Losties?  I vote for curtain two. 

And for the love of Pete, I wish I could stop feeling conflicted about Juliet.  There seems to be a real kindness in her.  I want to trust her.  And it did appear tonight that any mischief she's up to is being forced upon her by Ben. 

Looks like Locke is back next week.  Buckle up, folks; this is about to get VERY interesting.

Oh, and look what I just found:  This makes me very happy.

Works For Me: Tornado Safety

Occasionally, people without their own blogs will send me their Works-For-Me Wednesday tips via e-mail.  You're more than welcome to do this (though I can't guarantee I'll be able to publish them here)--and, as always, you're also welcome to leave your WFMW tips in the comment section.  This week Sarah in Missouri sent me this very timely tip.  As a fellow Tornado-Alley dweller who has spent much time hunkered in closets with cranky children, I thought this was great:

In preparation for some severe weather predicted for this evening I packed a clear plastic bag (the zippered variety that bedding comes in) with bottles of water, a bottle for the baby, formula, pacifier, goldfish crackers, books, crayons, coloring book, etc. and placed it at the top of our basement steps. I also made sure that there was a clear path to our "safe place" in the basement and placed an old comforter in a trash bag nearby for us to sit on while we wait for the all-clear. I feel so much better already knowing that if we have a tornado warning late at night or during the day when my husband is gone I don't have to worry about collecting all of these items from all over the house- I can just grab my kids and head downstairs.

Have a tip you'd like to share with all of Bloggityville? Please, share the links to your tips below.  (WFMW guidelines can be found here.) 

1. Laura (hanging on to naptime) 2. OW (healthy summertime snacks) 3. Laura in KY (boys haircuts) 4. An Ordinary Mom (water bottles) 5. NspiredByFaith 6. lizzykristine (household odor remover) 7. NspiredByFaith(Stuffed Crust Pizza) 8. Everyday Mommy (Easy Subscription) 9. Military Mommy (Special Seasoning) 10. Rebecca Mielke (modest neckline test) 11. Rachel (easy filing) 12. Kara (online notes) 13. Beth F. (cheap soap refills) 14. Julie (Keeping Bottled Water Cold in Summer) 15. Tammy\'s Recipes (storing apple slices) 16. Homeschool Mama (Talking to your child about purity) 17. lifeasamama (easier balanced breakfasts) 18. Anna (Photo Frames) 19. Viriatha (Meal Planning) 20. Shauna (May baskets) 21. Alexandra(Easy Cleaning Schedule) 22. Chrystal (Coupon Organization) 23. Owlhaven (springtime school) 24. The Pumkin Patch-Household Notebook 25. Sam(antha) (Cold Season) 26. Michelle at Scribbit (raising a reader) 27. Pass the Torch (parenting tip) 28. The Family CEO (Lemon and Lime "Ice" Cubes 29. Amy (TV Guardian) 30. Treasures From Heaven (Big Brother Shirts) 31. Carrie (weekly chicken) 32. Joyful Days (stress relief) 33. Liza\'s Eyeview - Decluttering - really! 34. Jen (Packing tip) 35. Robin (Steak and A Movie Night) 36. Another Robin (lice prevention 37. Jodi (scrambled eggs) 38. Jenny (Cleaning the microwave) 39. Ashley (Free outings) 40. Zoe (over door storage isn\'t jsut for over the door) 41. Karen L (diet donuts!) 42. Pastormac\'s Ann (left-over mac & cheese) 43. Emma (slow cooker) 44. Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry (Kitchen Helper) 45. Jennifer (Kids Travels Book) 46. Marcia (organising your handbag) 47. Jennie C. (hundred dollar jar) 48. Trixie @ Farm Home Life (Earning Extra $) 49. It Coulda Been Worse (Deluxe Eyemask) 50. Jennifer, Snapshot (Letter-Writing help)

51. Aubrey (Skin Care Tips) 52. Kel (removable bumper stickers) 53. Mama Says (College for Free) 54. ~liz (stop getting junkmail!) 55. Whymommy (encouraging reading) 56. Janel (teach yourself piano) 57. Michelle - Library 58. Nancy (remembering birthdays) 59. Elizabeth (homemade granola bars) 60. Rachel Anne (Fun, easy game!) 61. The Preacher\'s Wife (Easy Homemade Hand/Body Cream) 62. Amblin (Husbands and Wives) 63. sugar ave (snacks for us) 64. Jessica (Consignment Sales) 65. KD (Love Those Zip Lock Baggies) 66. Heather L.(kids\' art work) 67. Charmin (tar clean-up) 68. Cori ~ Gentle Bubbles 69. Heather(Eating on the go!) 70. Mama Duck (stain remover) 71. Kim ( * picky eater & nutrition * ) 72. Annette (seed keeper) 73. Rona - BerryMorins Bits and Tips 74. Christine (Cheap, better giftwrap) 75. Coralie (Tips For Buying or Selling a House) 76. Barbara H. (Redeeming the time) 77. Elena (Ikeepbookmarks.com) 78. Girl Gone Wild (Perfect Over Easy Eggs) 79. Many Little Blessings (Creating Family Budget) 80. Jean 81. Michelle (Stash Peach Iced Tea) 82. The Cheerio Queen (easy menu planning) 83. Lisa@Everyday Adventures (2fer:Ross & PaintShopPro) 84. Cyndi (CoinStar) 85. Lady Why (poison ivy soap) 86. chilihead (ginormous bubble bath) 87. Paige (alternative use for dishwasher) 88. My Twenty Cents Keeps Moving(MySpace) 89. Sarah (20 Minutes) 90. Jennifer (math worksheets) 91. Jordan @ MamaBlogga 92. Jordan @ MamaBlogga (Eliminate junk mail) 93. Mira (magazine recipes) 94. Cammie (Vita Mix) 95. themomhalf (slowing the washing machine drain) 96. Smockity Frocks (Juggling) 97. Mommy (Teething Solutions) 98. Amy (library books) 99. Ann Kroeker (projects contained and portable) 100. Carrie J (Incorporate Blogs into Personal Journals)

101. Rona - My Chronic Pain Does Not Control Me (spa manicure) 102. diatribal (Two Easy Steps) 103. Jill 104. Jill (cheap kids toys and clothes) 105. Toni (unschooling journal) 106. Amy @ Experience Imagination (budgeting w/gift cards) 107. Mrs Pear (Carpet touch up) 108. Stacy (Diligence Dollars) 109. Eden (Chow Hall) 110. Darcy (Clean your Windows with Coffee Filters) 111. The Building Brows (Reduce Your Clothing Expenses) 112. GP in Montana 113. MommaBlogger-Organizing Recipes 114. Jen 115. Chappyswife (baby/wedding shower) 116. kimm(safety in numbers) 117. Bethanie (the best razors) 118. Lisa (Laundry tips) 119. Susan (pill swallowing tip) 120. Amy Jane (If you sign with baby) 121. Jessica (Miracle-Gro) 122. So Many Joys (eating organic) 123. GiBee (Why onions make you cry) 124. MrsB (Babywearing) 125. Heidi (labeling garden plants) 126. madridmom (first post -- clean underwear) 127. Jen (Emptying Dishwasher) 128. Like Merchant Ships (baking caddy) 129. Kathy (frugal spa bath) 130. Melissa (Save Money on Swiffer Sheets) 131. Buby & Co. 132. Lisa H. - 1st Time (Contact Tips) 133. Buby & Co. (Family Photo Art) 134. MrsLady (Mother\'s Day Idea) 135. Brian (Google as a spell checker) 136. Melonie (Workerette.com) 137. Kahri (nuggets of Knowledge) 138. Kim - Getting out ink 139. Mandy (planning Disney vacation) 140. Emily (grilling) 141. Bethany (peelable boiled eggs) 142. Mom in Action (quick dinner) 143. Emily (grilling) 144. Totallyscrappy (Cleaning with Rice) 145. OneStorm.Org (preparedness) 146. Amberly (easy dinner rolls) 147. LanaFalana 148. Debbie (SATees: Fun t\'s and onesies)

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*UPDATED* Why Is Sheryl Crow Trying To Undermine My Mothering Skills?

I'm no tree hugger, but of course I think we should be sensible about being responsible with our environment.  I do my part to reduce, reuse and recycle as well as the next guy. 

But please.

Have you heard what singer Sheryl Crow is suggesting we all do to keep our earth a little healthier?  Here's how the Washington Post quotes her:

I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

A "dining sleeve".  A "DINING SLEEVE"? For ten years I have said "don't wipe your mouth on your shirt" with such regularity I've thought about tattooing it on my forehead, and now this?  If the word gets out in the ten-and-under-crowd, we moms are doomed.

But wait!  There's more!

One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

At first thought, this idea might work in my favor.  If we legislate toilet paper usage, perhaps my children would stop using wads the size of basketballs to do their "business".  But one sheet?  I'm thinking the amount of hand soap and germ killer we'd need to make this idea livable would overwhelm any environmental savings, don't you?

Clearly, Ms. Crow should stick to Soaking Up the Sun, because with this little suggestion, she won't be soaking up much else.

(I'm sorry, that joke was just begging to be worked in.)

*UPDATE*  Sheryl is now saying this was all a joke, and that just "glad people are talking about global warming."  Um, Sheryl?  That's not what they're talking about...

Thanks to Carrie for the link.