*UPDATED* Why Is Sheryl Crow Trying To Undermine My Mothering Skills?

I'm no tree hugger, but of course I think we should be sensible about being responsible with our environment.  I do my part to reduce, reuse and recycle as well as the next guy. 

But please.

Have you heard what singer Sheryl Crow is suggesting we all do to keep our earth a little healthier?  Here's how the Washington Post quotes her:

I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

A "dining sleeve".  A "DINING SLEEVE"? For ten years I have said "don't wipe your mouth on your shirt" with such regularity I've thought about tattooing it on my forehead, and now this?  If the word gets out in the ten-and-under-crowd, we moms are doomed.

But wait!  There's more!

One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

At first thought, this idea might work in my favor.  If we legislate toilet paper usage, perhaps my children would stop using wads the size of basketballs to do their "business".  But one sheet?  I'm thinking the amount of hand soap and germ killer we'd need to make this idea livable would overwhelm any environmental savings, don't you?

Clearly, Ms. Crow should stick to Soaking Up the Sun, because with this little suggestion, she won't be soaking up much else.

(I'm sorry, that joke was just begging to be worked in.)

*UPDATE*  Sheryl is now saying this was all a joke, and that just "glad people are talking about global warming."  Um, Sheryl?  That's not what they're talking about...

Thanks to Carrie for the link.

Comments

[Heather]

Maybe her poo doesn't smell. . .

More likely though she lives on planet rich and owns a bidet.

[Carrie]

I suppose that Sheryl's mother never taught her about cloth napkins and handkerchiefs.
Heather's right - we now know Sheryl's a bidet kinda gal. I wonder if she has one installed in her tour bus. If not, I wonder if she has a single-paper dispenser installed. Hrmm... doubt it.

[Alexis]

I just had to laugh when I read this. If I restricted my toddler to one sheet does Sheryl know how many chemicals I would have to use to clean up the after effects??

[Susan G.]

I think she should try out the toilet paper thing on her next tour.

She could have all the toilet paper removed from the bathrooms at the venue and then hire people to hand out the one square per person. I am sure her fans would be thrilled!

[deborah]

I like Susan's idea! Give me a little break, Dining Sleeve??? Hey, we didn't call my girl "green sleeves" for nothing! I know, eewww, but, hey, she now uses waaay too many kleenex, sorry planet earth AND Ms. Crow!!! I will have her plant a tree.

As far as 1 square per wipe; ain't happening here. The day someone tells me how much to use - BITE ME!!!! I have enough issues with Purell and OCD to wipe out my kid's ideas of normalcy. This doesn't help matters. I've just started to shake hands again; I guess that's over.

[Barb]

Yikes! The thought of one square...ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! And don't even get me started on the dining sleeve. I think she lost some brain cells from soaking up the sun!

[Milehimama]

This from a homewrecker who takes THREE tractor trailers on tour and requires disposable bowls and plastic spoons at venues (check out her contract rider on The Smoking Gun website)?
I'm not sure anyone in my family has ever had a pesky occasion where only TWO squares were required. (Actually, I usually have more problems getting my little conservationists to wipe in the first place...love potty training boys. Love it. To. Death.)

Mama Says

[Antique Mommy]

Whose going to police the one-square law? Hmmm? I recycle everything recyclable imaginable every week. I am entitled to two squares and a paper napkin at dinner.

[Haden]

I love it. Celebs make me laugh.

[Jennifer]

Those comments are for REAL??? Oh her poor mother -- she must be so embarrassed.

I saw someone was going run warm water over their cold hands, to warm them. Well -- I'm pretty sure that would be wasteful, when all they have to do is stick their hands in their warm GREEN armpits!!

Oh well -- let them hug a tree... as long as it's not mine.

AND... I know I'm not shaking hands with anyone on that bus... that's for SURE!

[Michelle-This One's for the Girls]

I don't usually talk like this-- but I just have to say:

That woman is an idiot.

[Jeana]

And now we see why it didn't work out with Lance. Because after hours on that bicycle seat he must have had some chafing going on.

[Angie @ Many Little Blessings]

What in the world??? LOL Here I thought when she was going to say no paper napkins that she was just going to suggest cloth napkins. No, instead she is giving some nonsense answer in the hopes, apparently, of selling something.

Oh -- and the one square of toliet paper...what the heck?!?

[Viscountess]

Hear Hear! I asked the same question: "How does tripling the use of hand soap and laundry soap help the environment?"

Cheryl also hasn't heard that it's actually green algae that gives us most of our oxygen. If we really want cleaner air, everyone who owns pools would let them algae over. And that's not a joke, that's science.

[sweethomealagirl]

Oh my, that's rich!

[trixiewood@sbcglobal.net]

Eeeeeeeewww. I'm sincerely hoping she was JOKING! This was on the news yesterday-- I think she is going way overboard.

Trixie

[Susanne]

What I think is hilarious is the thought of Sheryl Crow ever using a "dining sleeve" herself! Can you imagine a celebrity doing such a thing?? What she REALLY wants is for all of us nobodies to do these conservation things so that she and the other celebrities can bask in their wealth and use lots of sheets of tp!

[lisa h.]

I love when celebrities start taking on politics and giving us their two cents! Why is it always about the environment with them? At least Angelina is trying to help children. Why don't they lobby congress to fight child molestors? That would actually be worthwhile!

Ummm the toilet paper thing could never happen, thanks to Seinfeld I think we'll always be covered! "Not a square to spare!"

[Lisa Knight]

I just watched that Planet Earth on the Seasonal Forrests & it said that the coniferous forrest in the artic north replenished the Earth's air, so if we cut every tree down on the REST of the Planet we'd still be OK, right? SoI am going to stick with my paper products & plant another tree in my yard!!!

Now way am I letting my kids wipe their faces on a sleeve, I don't care if that's what it's designed for, still gross & I have to wash it, using detergent & water & electricity...hmmmm.

[Kara]

That is just nuts! 1 square?! That's just stupid! And how would they regulate that lol? And seriously, the sleeve thing? Hasn't she heard of cloth napkins? Maybe she was drunk or something wen she suggested all this? lol

[Nancy]

I read this article the other day. I had the exact reaction as you! Ludicrisy!

Who wants to walk around with food on their arms. Are you supposed to use it and then detach and put in your purse to take home? Then why not just throw a cloth napkin in your purse and pull it out when needed?

As for the toilet paper issue, I sat in the bathroom pondering that yesterday. I tore off two squares and looked at them. There's just no way. I shook my head and unrolled a few more.

I think Alexis is right about testing her idea on tour. Brilliant!

[Stacie]

HORRORS!! Both of her ideas- yuck!

I tried your cloth napkin idea Shannon, and have been loving it! (The gingham squares) I think I'm doing my part to save paper napkins that way. Maybe Sheryl could use your idea...

[Stacie]

HORRORS!! Both of her ideas- yuck!

I tried your cloth napkin idea Shannon, and have been loving it! (The gingham squares) I think I'm doing my part to save paper napkins that way. Maybe Sheryl could use your idea...

[Milehimama]

On second thought, I really, really want to know what brand of TP she uses that one square is sufficient. Does Bounty make TP?

[Shelia]

Believe me when I say, I am sure Sheryl's mom did a much better job raising her than it seems from this article. (And it shouldn't be a reflection of anyone who grew up in or around Kennett, Mo. We aren't all that way! And as for bidets... I don't think the whole of Kennett has one, so that is a new-fangled, citified, uppity thing!)

Right now I am more than a little embarrassed to admit we even come from the same home town!