It's Hard To Say "No"

I have to get serious with you for a minute.  There is something so heavy on my heart right now I can hardly bear it.

For some unfathomable reason, this blog of mine gets a pretty substantial bit of traffic.  I'm deeply grateful for that, and I view it as a responsibility, one I take very seriously. 

Because of this traffic, I receive many, many e-mail requests asking me to link to very good and admirable (and often heartbreaking) causes.  People are trying to generate funds for a difficult situation, or they simply want to ask others to pray.  I read everyone of those e-mails.  I often agonize over them.  My heart hurts for every single one.

The truth is, if I linked to every one those, this blog would be a prayer request/fund raiser blog, plain and simple.  If only linked to SOME of them, then I've been put in the position of determining which causes are "worthy" of a link, something I'm terribly unqualified to do. 

Not to mention, while the majority of these requests are surely legitimate, I've received several requests that raise some serious red flags as to their honesty.  I cannot stand--CANNOT STAND--the thought of linking to something dishonest (the very reason I'm holding the Dog Days giveaway with a hefty dose of nervousness, scared to death someone is going to get taken advantage of.  I'm just trusting that you all will use your good sense on this.)  Linking to a prayer request or plea for funds is very different from a silly giveaway. 

I hope that all of this makes it clear that I simply cannot link to all these requests.  I can't even link to some of them.  I'm not qualified to determine which ones are deserving.  And it kills me.  You have no idea how many times this single issue has had me overwhelmed to the point of closing up this blog altogether.

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you may be wondering why, then, have I done some of this in the past?  Well, I do occasionally point my readers in the direction of a good cause, but it is ALWAYS a good cause with which I am extremely familiar.  I can vouch for it, I have prayed over it, and I have corresponded with the people involved.  I reserve the right to do this, of course, and I hope you can see the difference between that and forwarding along every request that comes into my in-box. 

I've said this before, but I'll say it again for emphasis:  the blogosphere is a wonderful community, but when it comes to reaching out and ministering to others, it does not take the place of God's chosen vessel for ministry, His Church.  Always, always, when you have a need, or see one, bring it to the attention of your church.  Organize meals, prayer requests, funds, whatever is needed, under the leadership of those specifically chosen and trained to handle these situations.  If you don't have a church, that's okay.  Any church that's worth its salt will reach out to anyone, even if you haven't darkened its doors, ever. 

Of course there is a place for on-line fundraising and prayer--it's blessed many people.  But, like everything else, it must be approached with careful discernment.  Which is exactly what this post is all about--my silly, simple efforts to figure out how to manage this blog of mine with wisdom. 

Comments

[mopsy]

I think you approach this issue with great wisdom, and I don't think anyone would find fault your position.

[tammi]

I love what you said about needing the flesh-and-blood church family, despite feeling close with bloggy friends. I think so many of us are guilty of forgetting that -- it's just easier to converse online than in person because it can be done whenever we want, and more importantly, we don't become nearly as vulnerable. But because of the lack of true openness and vulnerability, blogging simply isn't as meaningful either. We still need our physical church family and friends.

I'm very new to your blog, but I love it, and I really hope you won't shut it down! I agree with mopsy.

[MamaLady]

Don't feel guilty in the least. I think you're doing a service by NOT posting every Tom, Dick and Harry's request. IMHO.

[Diana Bartling]

Thanks for being responsible enough to say NO! We need to take our prayer concerns and our requests for fundraising to those who know us best...after all, they are the ones most likely to be there for us when we need them. I love your blog!!

[margalit]

Not that I don't question your statement about churches, but for those of us who aren't Christian, that statement just isn't true. It isn't. I wish that it were, but it's not.

But I totally stand by what you said. I'm of the same ilk. I link occasionally to things that I know are legit, and I do ask once a year for people to support my fund raising during Blogathon, for which I raise money for Children's Hospital, but otherwise, there are just too many needy individuals for anyone, no matter how much traffic your site drives to you, to honor all the requests. So you do what you can, and hope that others do the same. You're doing the right thing.

[Nancourt]

I totally agree with you!
I am not a very good blogger. I do read blogs every single day...you and many others are on my blogroll. I just never got disciplined like you to post every day. I think it is because I work from home on the computer and some days, it is just WORK to blog too. With that said, let me tell you I think you and many others do a wonderful service and ministry with your posts.
I admire you and respect you and wish to be more like you.
Right now, all I have keeping me busy is a nasty troll. It does not encourage one to post more frequently....*sigh*
So please, never apologize for your choices. I know it must be hard but you have to be genuine and run this show in the way that suits you.
You are awesome...always and every day.

[An Ordinary Mom]

Very well said. I applaud you for your honesty and your wisdom!

[Jeana]

Very well said, and I wholeheartedly agree.

[Monkey Giggles]

Well said...I will be praying for you.

[Lynnae]

I appreciate your stance on this. I imagine it IS really hard to say no, but you're absolutely right. How on earth would you be able to choose between the various causes that come your way? You've shown a great amount of thought and wisdom here.

[melissa]

Thank you for bringing this to light in such a wisely-said way.

[Cindy]

Great combination of wisdom and truth and grace! You're appreciated!

[Amanda]

I totally agree with you on this! It's your blog... people should respect that. I feel it is wrong for anyone to ask you to blog about their needs, prayers, etc. Maybe someone out there should create a blog for *THAT*... or maybe NOT! Who could have the time to read all the prayer requests and needs every day?

I just think it's kinda selfish for others to ask you to link to their blogs... sounds like they are wanting traffic..

[Susanne]

Oh, Shannon. I can only imagine how hard this is on your heart. If you volunteer to put something up that's one thing but your personal blog shouldn't be expected and requested to do any of that. Don't feel guilty at all. You wrote this with much wisdom and grace!

[tracey]

Hmmm.. Having never had anyone ask me to link to a cause, I can't relate, but I can imagine that it would be a difficult position to be put into.

[Llama Momma]

I see what you're saying. But you won't mind asking everyone to pray for my cousin Bertha's eye surgery next Tuesday, would you? Oh, and she doesn't have insurance. If everyone reading your blog could just donate one dollar...

Kidding. I'm totally kidding.

Right on, girl!

[Jen]

I know of a few blogs who post paid advertisements as posts. It can change the feeling from a fun, honest blog to one that can be bought, where the author will say anything for money-whether she's tried the product she's saying is great or not.

I like to envision my blog developing a cult following...but like you, I use it as my personal voice. As someone else said, blogging can be at times a big effort with responsibility you feel to those who are reading--if people wanna advertise, they can easily get their own blogs & put in the effort to get & maintain readership.

[Megan (FriedOkra formerly Mamabean)]

I understand your predicament... Not an easy position to be put in. Thanks for the clarity!

[boomama]

Very well said, sweet friend.

[summershine]

Something I really appreciate about your blog is that there are no sponsored posts or paid advertisement buttons all over the place.
It's refreshing and much more real that way.
Thanks for your hard work. I 've only been around the blogging world for a month or so but I found you in the very beginning and have loved your blog.

[momrn2]

Very well said my friend. I too have received a few of these requests (nothing like you get I'm sure!!!) and it is very difficult to know what to do!

You did a great job putting it all into words here! I admire you in all your writing and what you share! Keep up the great work!!

[MommaBlogger]

Unfortunately, there are many churches that aren't as willing to help as they ought to be. Then again, there are some that are too willing to help, and are burned because of it. I have been involved in both, and neither is very much fun.

Sadly, there are so many things wrong on both sides, it is difficult to know what to do and where to turn, and sometimes it seems like the best idea is to go for a popular blog. I can understand that thinking, because I've thought it myself. I'm also too shy to ask help that way, because I'd be afraid of stepping on toes.

Kudos to you though, for using God's discernment. There is only so much you can do, and you can't do more than God wills. Going outside that often leads to trouble, as I'm sure many of us are aware ;)

[Mandy]

To chime in: you are handling this very wisely, and I admire you for it. I especially appreciate your encouragement to use the church as the church, rather than the blogosphere.

God bless.

[Mandy]

To Margalit:
I'm sorry for whatever experiences you have had with churches who have apparently not helped you when you needed it (perhaps I'm reading too much between the lines). The churches that I have been involved with have always helped whomever asked, whether they were members or not, believers or not. There are situations that are beyond their capabilities, especially if they are a small church. But they are commanded to serve, so if they are rejecting that command, it is a great tragedy.

[Johanna Ely]

You are a very wise woman !