I love y'all. I really do.
The comments you made on my post yesterday (as well as the private e-mails many of you sent) have been a bigger encouragement than I could possibly tell you. Thank you, thank you. I urge everyone to read through those comments, when you have time, because there are some seriously wise women out there in bloggy-land. How'd you get so smart?
The truth is, while there are plenty of foggy, anguished moments like the one I wrote about yesterday, there are some very sweet moments as well, moments in which I feel God bringing some things into beautiful clarity.
My emotional response is to sell everything I own and move to Uganda and disdain America, etc. The less-glamorous reality is that there really is much I can do here. I've hesitated to say it, because it kind of sounds like a cop-out--but there is something to be said for the "givers", the people in America whose life situation is such that they can give, and give, and give to those doing the work in the field. One of the things I most love about Compassion is that they're not an organization of Westerners swooping in to "rescue" the locals. They're a funding arm that empowers the locals to rescue themselves. Big difference.
(And by the way, I know my FAQ on Compassion details is long-overdue. I'm working on it, I promise.)
Furthermore, God offers grace and compassion to wealthy, misguided Americans, too. Shouldn't I? The blindness caused by too much stuff can be a very powerful trap (oh-have-mercy, I'm speaking from experience). African children aren't the only ones who need deliverance--rich people do too.
Still furthermore (I'm on a roll, baby!), I think it's important for us to acknowledge that God is not limited, but we humans are. My husband and I feel very convicted to determine very specifically what God is calling us to do right now--we want to follow Him with maximum obedience. But when we're doing that--when we're faithfully obedient to do what He's leading--there is great freedom to rest and live in joy. There is room to gratefully and humbly laugh with my kids and love on my husband. Dare I say it? I think there's even room to enjoy my hot showers and my Sam's Club lasagna and my Lost.
Reader Sherry shared the most wonderful quote (thank you, Sherry!):
Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.
- St. Augustine of Hippo
I have officially gotten off my duff. I'm not sure yet what my life will look like in six months or ten years, but I know Who does. Both in the fog and out of it, I'm going to take it a step at a time, knowing that my comfort zone will likely get smashed a few more times.
Get off your duffs with me, my friends! You can start right here. If you haven't stepped outside your comfort zone lately, I'll tell you, the view from here is pretty fine.