Talk Amongst Yourselves: Co-Ed Sleepovers

Last week my oldest son was invited to a co-ed sleepover.

Let me re-type that in all caps in case you missed it. 

LAST WEEK MY OLDEST SON WAS INVITED TO A CO-ED SLEEPOVER.

I answered him in my typical understated, never-over-reactive way (I believe the words "over my dead body" and "when pigs fly" were part of my answer.  And I think there might have been a shriek).  Yes, I am a veritable fount of gentleness and grace.

But I was just curious if there was some line of reasoning I'm missing:  anyone out there a fan of co-ed sleepovers for elementary-aged kids?  Would you be more or less inclined to allow this of teenagers?  What are your sleepover guidelines, in general?

Comments

[Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife]

Oh, my word! I have to say that I am completely, totally, utterly, without question against them! And will be even moreso the older they get!

Sleepover guidelines? Mom must always be present. No sleepovers ~ or play dates ~ when it's only dad around the house.

[Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife]

I'm not referring to Mr. Brownstone! He's a wonderful trustworthy man!! Though, we wouldn't subject a parent to the question of mom not being in the house for these activities. :)

Our children only get to go if mom is home. Likewise, we only invite if mom is home, too.

We also have a strict "no computer" rule. You never know what other people are surfing...even if you think you do.

[Susan]

I've had this conversation with my 9yr old - girl. Fortunately have not received any invitations yet. When/if it comes, I will be the unpopular Mom. That's OK. I think they have enough to deal with that co-ed sleepovers don't need to enter the picture.
That said - do we have 'sleepovers' with family friends as we visit one another in our various states/locations - Yes! But Mom & Dad are right there.
Do what you think is right!

[Stretch Mark Mama]

OH GLORY.

I still haven't told my six-year-old that there ARE girls. He just thinks they're boys with pigtails.

Snnnrrrk.

[Jodi]

That's it. My kids are never allowed to grow up.

[Straight Shooter]

What?! Oh. my. I still have girl child go spend night when boy child has sleepover boys and then vice versa! What?!
Jesus must be packin' His bags to return soon? Any one agree?

[melissa]

I like Jodi's comment...

I am against co-ed sleepovers for any ages. Why encourage that sort of thing? There's enough that can happen at a same-ed sleepover let alone one for both boys and girls!

[Carrie]

Seriously... I have no children but -- I'm completely speechless.

ack.

[Kristy]

I had friends who had sex for the first time in 5th grade.

Besides, even if you could argue that this is okay for younger kids, at what point do you stop? How can something so "adult" be okay when you're 8 but not when you're 13?

[On the Eastern Journey]

I am completely shocked that some parent would allow a co-ed sleepover - and probably think they are really cool for doing it. No matter what the age, it is completely inappropriate.

[suburbancorrespondent]

Misguided and unnecessary. Not even worth discussing.

[Tara]

Oh no...I don't think so. We just had the..."Should we let the boy cousins sleep in the same room with the girl cousins?" conversation the other night...and that was enough for me!

[Queen Mother]

WELL...NO! I can't even get my brain around this kind of thinking.

[LammyAnn]

When pigs fly over my dead body just about covers my feelings exactly.

We don't do slumber parties/sleep overs until our kids reach 12...and even then it is case by case.

We do late overs or stay lates... stay until midnight and mama or daddy picks them up.

[Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity]

We have co-ed sleepovers at church, but typically when we have a trip that we're leaving early or getting back late.

we separate the boys and girls and there is an adult with each group. I'm not sure that I would allow this for my children unless they are at church.

(and I should mention that these sleepovers are for our youth group)

[transplanting me]

we had an invitation for a sleepover. not a party, just an invitation for at the time 9 yr old daughter to spend the night at 9 yr old boys house. and it was the mom who asked me. i didn't respond well... i may have fainted and then muttered something like are you crazy??

[Minnesotamom]

Shocking!

When a child is an elementary student, I would say it's the parents' job to set an example early, meaning NO co-ed sleepovers. When a child is a teen, surely not! Even more dangerous. You know what teens are doing these days, right (even "Christian" ones)?

[Lisa Lavy]

THUD! huh? Oh, I must have hit my head...I thought you said CO-ed sleepover. Oh...you did! I seriously think some people have no clue regarding parenting. makes me understand a little more why their kids are out of control. Where is the good ole common sense in this world? What would be ONE good argument FOR having a co-ed sleepover. Sleepovers in general are a bit scarey to me.

[Stephanie]

My 4th grader boys have been invited to several parties this year where dancing with girls and playing kissing games in the closet were supposed to be the main events. They weren't allowed to go. Why can't 10 yr olds BE 10 yr olds these days? They don't want to dance with girls, they want to burp at them and gross them out. They don't want to kiss girls, so they shouldn't be in a situation where they'll feel pressured by their friends to do so. I can't see any good at all coming from coed sleepovers with classmates.

[Andrea Payne]

Okay, I have to comment. Do your kids go to church youth lock-ins? What do you think that is - A co-ed sleepover. They just make sure there is plenty of adult supervision. Our Youth group is very active. Our kids go camping, have lock-ins, go on youth trips together. It all boils down to the amount of adult supervision. My 15 year old went to a co-ed sleepover two years ago. The kids were not left alone. The parents invited other adults to come and help watch the kids. We allowed her to go with the full understanding about the number of adults present and the plan for the night. It was just like a mini church lock in.

[Julie]

Never, ever. My daughter is 5 and I won't allow it.

[Damsel]

I think a church lock-in is different. There is an entirely different connotation between sleeping in your sleeping bag at church -- on two separate sides of the building-- and staying at someone's house where there is a bedroom. I've been in youth ministry for quite awhile, and there really is a difference between the two.

Maybe the difference for me is that I trust the youth leaders more than I trust a kid's friend's parents that I don't know too well.

Absolutely not for co-ed sleepovers for my kid (ever -- he's only three now) but I'm really hoping that Jesus comes back so I don't have to fight this battle! :)

[Mandy]

I was invited to one in 1985. My Mom was shocked!!! I was the only one to be picked up early. She was even more shocked that every one else stayed!!!

Absolutely not...not even negotiable for any of my daughters.

[Kim]

O.K. I am shrieking with you! No, No way, Nada! NO! People just do not even realize what situations they are placing their children in! I think they think it's "cute"! When my daughter was in first grade she mentioned once that a girl in her class "liked sex". I was putting her to bed at the time and almost fell off! Now she didn't know what sex was (thank goodnes, I wasn't prepared for "the talk" yet), but that they were even discussing such an issue sent me right in to the teacher! I will be the "unpopluar mom" too! Praise God!

[Rebecca]

We avoid sleep-overs at all costs! My dad always told us, "Nothing good ever happens after midnight."

And really, what's the point? They come home all grumpy and sleep-deprived. If they're girls, someone is inevitably mean to someone else, and there are hurt feelings.

Sleep-overs. Bah.