Works For Me: Backwards Edition!

Today is Works-For-Me Wednesday: The Backwards Edition.  That simply means that instead of offering a tip, you ask for one, posting a question that has had you stumped, letting your readers offer advice.

Now, I need your advice.

Lately, I've de-stuff-ifying.  De-cluttering.  Getting rid of the extras.  Simplifying. 

It feels good.  Except when it doesn't, because sometimes it's confusing.

Here's the dilemma:

For some convoluted reason, we registered for fine china when we got married, nearly 14 years ago.  We received ten complete place settings of Lenox Solitaire--it's a very formal ivory pattern with a wide silver band around it. 

That lovely silver band that makes it so pretty?  It also makes it so I can't put it in the dishwasher. 

I DON'T DO THINGS THAT CAN'T GO IN THE DISHWASHER.  (Interesting side note:  I even put my Pampered Chef baking stone in the dishwasher, a confession which has caused many a Pampered Chef consultant to gasp in horror.  Evidently, this is grounds for public flogging at the Pampered Chef Headquarters.  But I've been plopping the SAME stone in the dishwasher for 10 years, without it cracking or warping or coming out tasting like soap.  Let the flogging begin.)

Anyway, back to the china.

It's beautiful, but it's formal.  We don't use it.  We never have.  We never will.  We love having people over, but we cook burgers and put them on paper plates.  It's just who we are.  And no, I'm not the bring-it-out-for-special-occasions type of girl.  When Hubs and I have a quiet evening of romance, I don't want to sit at my kitchen table (which is permanently sticky, by the way), eating by candlelight off of plates I'm going to have to handwash later.  On occasions like that, we just go out.

But y'all, these plates are like new.  They still have the Dillard's price tags on the bottom of each piece.  It's kind of sad to think that all that money was spent on us for wedding gifts, when we should've just asked for Wal Mart gift cards instead.  That would've bought a lot of Hamburger Helper, which is what we existed on our first year of marriage.

I promise, this is coming to a point.

It seems terribly wasteful to keep dishes we'll never use.  They take up a lot of space in my dining room cabinet.  We checked into selling them back to a dealer, but the whole set was going to bring in something crazy like $200.  Ebay didn't look much more promising.

So here's my question.  What should I do with the china?  Get rid of it?  Sell it for pennies on the dollar?  Store it in the attic in case my daughter wants it someday?  Burn off a little PMS energy and smash them in the floor? (I'm kidding, Mom, I won't do that.  Probably.)

What do you think I should do with it?  How can I be sensible and generous and practical with a cabinet full of unused, expensive china?

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Comments

[Angie @ Many Little Blessings]

I might be apt to sell them, personally. The way I look at it, even $200 is better than having things sit around that you have no use for.

If you just can't abide by that (LOL), then I would store them in the attic. Maybe they'll increase in value over time or they might be nice to hand down to someone (as you said).

Good luck!

[Jill]

We didn't register for china for the exact same reason. Those ladies at the registry try to strong arm you into doing so and then look at you like you have just lit a baby on fire when you say you don't want to. Anyway, I vote for sell it. Honestly what else are you going to do with it.

That being said, my mom just passed down her china to me and I love it. I got it out for Thanksgiving and was so excited to use it. Then again, it is dishwasher safe (or at least I put it in there) so I will use it occasionally. I am with you on not using something I can't stick in there. Why on God's green earth would I wash something by hand when there is a perfectly good machine to do that for me. That would be like crawling around the floor picking up crumbs with my hands.

This comment is way too long, but apparently fine china is something I have a lot of opinions about. Who knew?

[Lori ~ Simple Life at Home]

After agonizing over this very issue for years, last year I decided to sell it. Yes, it was for pennies on the dollar. But I was free of it! It feels good not to have it here - making me feel like a failure for not using it more often, taking up space and not contributing one blessed thing to my life. I say get rid of it!

Seriously, someone should tell brides-to-be to forgo the china and ask for something more practical, like a year's supply of babysitting once babies come along!

[Rookie Mom 101]

No problemo...I would go to Bed Bath and Beyond with the 20% coupon of course and buy the storage containers for china. Lillian Vernon.com also has them for about $20 - $30. Then I would just put them up in the attic for either a Really BIG PMS day or of course saving them for your daughter is a great idea. Our China has been hibernating in the attic nicely since 2001!

[Vickie@PursuingSimplicity]

Shannon,
I am in the same position in regards to beautiful, only used once china from 1980! What do I do with it? I have researched a few places to sell it at here in Oklahoma. One place that maybe you have not checked out online is Replacements.LTD. They buy and sell out of circulation china. You might go to their website and look around and see what your china is selling for on their site.

I feel your pain. I hate to part with it but only two place settings have seen any action at all in 28 years! I'm sorry I can't be of more help but truly check out Replacements Limited.

[Lady Why]

You could give it all to me!

No, seriously, I would save it for your daughter. Those things are so much more important and precious as a daughter gets older. It could be a coveted heirloom for her. Take it from me... a mom whose oldest girl is turning 18 next week. ~sniff, sniff~

[Alana]

I like using my China, but, then again I can put it into the dishwasher.

It's hard for me to tell you to sell it - and I believe in getting rid of just about everything not being used. I am also not sentimental, but there's something about China. You may won't to pass it down one day.

I'm not sure what your decorating style/taste is, but maybe you could get those inexpensive plate hangers and create a little collection - not in the attic though.

[Smockity Frocks]

I think you should auction it off on Ebay. I would probably feel guilty, though, and keep it.

[Proverbs31]

Here's one suggestion. If you aren't interested in making money off of them but you just can't stand to sell them for less than they are worth - you could consider donating them. Obviously these are not the kind of thing you can donate to Good Will.. but there has got to be some place that needs nice dishes for special occasions.. A church, some kind of local community group that holds banquest, a home for unwed mothers? Who knows? Granted it would be easier with everyday china, but it might be possible for fine china. The thing that appeals to me about that suggestion is that you're not only de-cluttering, but you are helping someone else out. And if you want to, you could write up a donation slip for a tax write off so that you and hubs at least benefit in some small way from a gift that was intended to benefit you instead of sitting in a cabinet. Thoughts?

[Christy]

I'm a super sentimental type. I would keep it in the hutch, or put it in storage in the attic. As soon as my kiddo is big enough to eat off of good plates (you know, the kind that smashes) we will get ours back out. I love using mine.

[Kristen @ We are THAT family]

I think I would store it away. You just never know when you'll need it and your daughter may LOVE it. Once it's gone . . . it's gone.

[Amber]

I kind of wish my mom had china to hand down. So...my vote is to put it in the attic! And, the first thing I would do is TRY A PIECE IN the DISHWASHER! :-) See what happens - maybe like the stone, it will be just fine! I hear that the more you use china, the stronger it gets!

[Carol ~ I Throw Like A Girl]

I am a firm believer that no one should be allowed to pick out china when they are 21 years old. Get married - yes. Pick out china - no. I picked an ugly contemporary pattern that I ended up hating and never using. So, I sold it on Ebay as individual place settings. I figured someone might want to add to their collection or replace a broken piece. I am not a saver, so it didn't make sense to save an ugly china pattern for my daughter and take up all that space in the attic. Your china sounds lovely, though, but I still vote for sell. It fits in with your de-cluttering mode.

[fern]

If you love it, store it away for the future. Your kids are young now, but someday it will be different. We only use our china once a year, for the Jewish High Holidays. When my kids were little, they ate off of regular plates while the adults ate with the china. As soon as I thought they were old enough not to wreck it, I let them eat off of the china, too. It made them feel so important--and they understood that it was an important occasion. I have to hand wash it, too--but it is only once a year. When we eat in the dining room, especially with the china--my kids stay at the table longer and talk with us. That is so worth the handwashing.

That being said--my mom puts her very good china in the dishwasher--she does not handwash anything. It is lenox from the days before dishwashers. It has been turning out fine since she got her first dishwasher about 40 years ago.

So, my second suggestion is this--if you would only get $200 for the china (granted, that is a lot of money, but probably will not make the difference if your kids go to college or not, and if you think you might like to eat off of the china--throw it in the dishwasher. What have you got to lose? If it turns out fine, you get nice china that goes in the dishwasher. If it doesn't, so what! It is only dishes.

[Lisa@Take90West]

Hooray! Thanks for letting me know I am not alone in putting the PC stonewear in the dishwasher. Mine always comes out fine, too! But I have made many consultants hearts flutter at parties :).

I would save the china for your daughter or even one of your future daughter in laws who might want it. I know it is impractical, and goes against the whole declutter/live simply mentality, but it is a memory and you may feel sorry years from now that you got rid of it. Pack it in the attic and forget about it...your kids may be happy to find it someday!

[Jennifer in OR]

For Heaven's sake, keep the china! You have daughters! Store it away, this will be priceless to your child. I'm very big on decluttering as well, but this doesn't fit the bill. :-)

[karla ~ looking towards heaven]

I registered for some really nice Wedgewood china and only received a coffee cup, saucer and dessert plate (one of each!) At the time, I was saddened by this. But I praise the Lord often for the lack of china.

Cause I'd never use it either.

There is an awesome post on Blissfully Domestic (a new site I am managing editor for) that shows beautiful places to think about hanging plates in around your home. Maybe this would be a great way to enjoy them and yet preserve them for your children and grandchildren. My grandmother did this with her too and I always though it was stunning!!

Here is the link:http://www.blissfullydomestic.com/2008/03/plates-not-fini.html
and the link for the main site is :http://www.blissfullydomestic.com/

[The (Almost) Amazing Mommarino]

Hysterical! I am SO with you on not doing anything that can't go in the dishwasher. I will spend 20 minutes rearranging/cramming everything into my dishwasher so I won't have to handwash a single dish.

Hmmmm...if you don't love and use these dishes, why does it matter how you get rid of them? Yes, they're worth a lot, but how valuable are they really if they're just gathering dust? You could bless a struggling young couple with them. You could save them for your daughter (but will she even KNOW how to handwash dishes after having been brought up in a domestically challenged home?) Or, you could just sell them for however much you can and buy a WHOLE BUNCH of paper plates! (;

Expensive wedding china...$1500

Therapy to get over guilt caused by getting rid of expensive wedding china...$2000

Freedom from the tyranny of fancy-schmancy china that begs to be used (and laboriously handwashed...priceless!

[Savannah]

Sell it on ebay or craig's list. But, put it as local pick up only. I had to return two customers' money when they received pieces of plates rather than whole plates.

You never know what you'll get for them!

[Maria]

I am a big believer in purging all the extra junk in our lives. But the china? I would keep it in the attic. Get some of those storgae containers like Rookie Mom suggested and put it in the attic. You can always get rid of it later if you change your mind. Keep in mind this is coming from someone who: a. Didn't register for china when I got married. b. Is mad that my brother got my grandma's china. c. Is mad that my sister got my other grandma's china :o)

[Roy]

I can't believe this guy is commenting on a gal's list re china, but...

The ladies recommending trying the dishwasher get my agreement. As an extra encouragment, Shannon, my wife and I have silver ringed Lennox settings that have proven themselves dishwasher safe. We've enjoyed the china for 40 yrs, and use it on special occassions. (Our 'everyday' dishes came from soap boxes and were collected by my wife's dad. But we appreciate paper plates and hamburger, too!)

[Overwhelmed With Joy!]

I personally think you should consider donating it to a woman's shelter or a church.

[Karen@FamilyBriefs]

I have a love/hate relationship with ebay. I hate going through the trouble of listing stuff (i.e. I'd purge better if I didn't have to store it in the attic before listing it on ebay to earn a few extra dollars), but I love it when I earn extra cash for stuff I could've just tossed out!

Of course, I have 5 sets of dishes. I put them all in the dishwasher whether they have a gold or silver rim or not (let the china flogging begin). But if they're not for you, then I say PURGE! Or find a friend who wants them and will supply you with paper plates for the next 10 years in exchange :)

[Pamela]

Hmmmm, reminds me of a story.

My really good friend, who didn't have many friends here when she got married and was pretty much responsible for paying for the whole wedding, had always wanted fine china when she got married but couldn't afford it.

My other good friend, had a big beautiful wedding that her parents paid for and got every piece of expensive china that she registered for.

One day, the second friend called the first friend and said, "Guess what? When I woke up this morning, God told me to give you my wedding china." And she did. Even though her mother gasped!

The first friend was amazed to find that God really does give us the desires of our heart. And the second friend felt very honored to be used by Him to bless someone! "It's just stuff," she thought.

I have three daughters so I would probably either give it away or save a setting for each daughter so she can display it however she wants. Sometimes it's less complicated to look at things than to actually use them.

[Org Junkie]

Oh the china question. I get this a lot. You are absolutely right it is a terrible waste of space to keep this dishes if you don't use it. You don't love them so they impact you negatively every time you see them.

They definitely need to go.

Doesn't matter so much how they go, just that they do. Whatever you do, do NOT save them for your daughter. She would definitely never forgive you :)

Good for you recognizing that there is no joy in surrounding ourselves with things we don't love.

You go girl!