Regret

I am so absolutely furious, I could spit nails. 

Perhaps you've seen the news breaking all over the internet, that Miley Cyrus has posed topless in Vanity Fair magazine.  Here are the details from the New York Times:

Some parents reacted with outrage over the weekend when the television program “Entertainment Tonight” began showing commercials promoting a scoop: Ms. Cyrus, the star of the wholesome Disney Channel blockbuster “Hannah Montana,” had posed topless, albeit with her chest covered, for the Vanity Fair photographer, Annie Leibovitz.

I don't fault Miley for this.  I know I wasn't always making the best choices at age 15.  But her parents should have known better.  The New York Times reports that her dad was on the set when the photos were taken. 

Can you, as a parent, imagine any circumstances in which you'd let your 15-year-old undress for a photographer?

I'm furious because these parents (and Disney, and Vanity Fair) have exploited a child.  Since when have topless photos of a minor been acceptable?

I'm more furious because they have now put me, as a parent, in the position of having to discuss topless photos with my sons (this WILL be discussed on the playground, you can be sure of it, and I want my kids to hear my perspective first). Thanks so much for that, Billy Ray, and Vanity Fair, and Disney.

And, if I'm honest, I'm mad at myself for what I might have done to enable this situation.  I've been so relieved about the Hannah Montana show as an upbeat, wholesome alternative to some other entertainment, that maybe I've bought into it too much.  I've voiced concern at the same time I bought my kids tickets to the movie.  I feel creeped out myself, that I've somehow contributed to the exploitation of this child. 

So we'll be having an upleasant conversation in our house tonight, about modesty and decision-making and growing up too fast.  I'll be making a hard choice myself, as to whether I withhold an otherwise quality show from kids' viewing.

And I will breathe a prayer for Miley, smack dab in the middle of a firestorm not of her making. 

I'd really be interested to hear your thoughts about this, particularly about how (or if) you plan to address this with your kids.

Comments

[Natalie Witcher]

My 9 year old thinks she is super duper. I hadn't hear about it and now, well, it's just another reason we'll be talking to her about BEING herself in Jesus, not wanting to be someone else or even like someone else. It's the age old trap of women. I'm sad. Real sad. I posted about her and this issue here -

http://nataliewitcher.blogspot.com/2008/04/wearing-bras-and-growing-green-grass.html

[Natalie Witcher]

"her" meaning my 9 year old. not miley

[Jolanthe]

Seriously? I just can't believe that a parent would let their child do that - no matter how famous they are. Even more so, that a company is letting a MINOR pose "sorta" topless.

What message does that send to other young girls?

[Laurie Bearce]

I do plan on speaking to my 7 year old daughter who is into Hannah Montana along with her classmates. Frankly I'm not suprised by this at all. I am reading a book right now called "Every Young Womans Battle" by shannon Ethridge & Stephen Arterburn and my eyes are opening to the reality of life in our sex-saturated world. My daughter is only 7 and is already faced with things like the desire to show off her body and have a boyfriend. I am saddened by this - but not suprised when much of what she sees in the world revolves around sex. I can't even take her to the mall for fear she'd look at the Victorias Secret posters or Abercrombie posters and think she needs to look like that. There is a prep book to go along with "Every young Womans Battle" that would be more appropriate for a 7 year old. I will go through that this summer with my daughter. There is also a book for adolescent boys called "Every Young mans Battle" by the same authors I think. Anyway, I agree with you and feel terribly sorry for that poor girl who will undoubtedly feel shame and regret later. And shame on her parents!!!!

[Priscilla]

I feel that eveyone is to blame here- even young Miley! at this point in the game she needs to have a very keen awarness about how she is projected and most impotrtant to whom she is selling. Ultimately her parents should have said no even if she was wineing about doing an artsy picture with the famous lebowitz- They should put their foot down and be parnets. As a young mother to a 6yr boy, 3yr boy and a 2 yr daughter I also though hannah was different but if this is how they( every one involved, the magazine, parents, disney miley etc) decide to market her/her show, then I say no thanks.

[Amy loves Bud]

We disconnected the cable back in August, but I had stopped my 7yo dd from watching HM prior to that. Even though it was "wholesome", I just think that consistent exposure to older girls' lives is bad for younger girls. They all just want to grow up so fast - I remember feeling that way, and in retrospect wish my parents had paid better attention to what I was watching and reading. Why encourage it? It happens too quick anyway!

I feel very sorry for Miley, that she doesn't have an adult in her life with enough sense to put his or her foot down and stand up to this kind of garbage. Verysad.

[Amy loves Bud]

Oh, and to answer your questions, we homeschool so my dd won't necessarily find out about it. I'll talk to her friends moms to see if they heard about it at school, and then address it if I think it will be the after school topic du jour. But yes, I'll address it.

[Ewokgirl]

This is the paradox of those tween shows. They use kids to glamorize high school life, and all the while, this is being peddled to young kids who shouldn't even be thinking of high school, boy-girl relationships, and whatever else goes with it yet.

Add to that the instant fame the young stars receive, and suddenly stuff like this happens. I imagine it's very difficult to remain a child in age-appropriate activities in Hollywood. Kids like Miley are thrust into adult situations and treated like commodities. I suppose it's hard for the kids, and even their parents, not to buy into all the trappings of fame and fortune.

As I don't have kids, I won't be discussing this with them. It just makes me sad for this generation that is growing up in a culture that desperately wants to make them older than they are, rather than letting them just be kids.

[GiBee]

I always want to think the best of people ... but you're right -- this is a disgrace, and there is no "best" side to this. What were her parents (professed Christians) THINKING?

[Nash]

I am thankful my children are too young to know who this is. There absolutely NO circumstances in which I would ever allow my children to do anything remotely like what Miley did. Baffles me! Anything for money, I guess - so sad.

[Sydney Glenn]

It's funny because of course she was one of the milions of girls who said that she wanted to be known as the "Good Girl" and now she's just on the road towards being another Britiny Spears. sad.

[Kim]

And this is coming from someone who says he is a Christian also? Why would a Christian father do this! I am made too! Thanks for the news I didn't know that! Out goes another positive role model for our kids today!

[angela]

I was sickened that in one part of an interview today she said that when Annie (the photographer) asked, that "you can't say no to Annie"

I don't care how high, mighty, powerful, etc - when you are 15 years old, if you feel you can't say no - isn't that what your parents are for?

Her parents have said they were there and that when the photo was taken it was different, artistic, etc. YOUR DAUGHTER WAS TOPLESS, AT 15 YEARS OLD, FOR A NATIONAL PUBLICATION

[Laundry & Children]

I am speechless. How stupid are these people? I allow my 7 year old daughter to watch Hannah Montana and was thankful that there was something that she found cool and I found decent. We have Rachel with the notion that she should strive to be a "Quality Girl." Well, letting someone take pictures of you without a shirt on is definitely not "quality." This is the first that I have heard of this so I don't know what we are going to do. My gut reaction is to say, "Well we are done with that chicky if this is the road that she is going down." But my daughter doesn't know that this photo exists, so do I take away something that she loves because the actress made a mistake? ARGHHHH! I go back to my first qustion. How stupid are these people? And I am angry that now I am in this position with my daughter. Why must everything decay in to the tawdry and titillating?

[L.Rose]

This is JUST what I was telling my daughters the other day (they are ages 11 & 12)...that Miley Cyrus is gonna have to start marketing herself as a "sexier" more "sophisticated" entertainer in order to make it into the next level of the industry. Think about it: do our 12 yr. olds want to watch "Barney" or "Dora the Explorer" anymore? No, and why? because of course they've moved on to more "grown up " type entertainment. So the 9 - 14 yr. old market is "behind" Miley..she's 15, she's going to need to "reinvent" herself. It happens to ALL in the industry. Some handle it better than others (or maybe it should read, some PARENTS of celebrities handle it better than others).
I haven't let my daughters watch Hannah Montana. Wholesome, maybe. But why should a 9 yr. old girl be watching what a character is doing on a show about teens & high school age? Encourages them to want to act that way as a preteen...And I just can't see facilitating them being involved in idolatry. Basically that's how I see it when someone becomes SOOOO obsessed over an entertainer...many young girls are sooo obsessed. It's scary. And I don't want my girls to grow up too fast. I want them to understand that they can be who THEY are and NOT who some famous person is....where's the individuality in EVERYONE trying to be Hannah Montana?! And then, when the star is so popular, and the fan base gets older, they will want to follow her right into her next personna...her next "more sophisticated, sexier" image. Did you see her on American Idol's "Idol Gives Back" night? The dance/song she did was quite frankly to close to the edge sexy for me...made me think I was right in my assumptions of what will come next for her. Hope I'm wrong, for her sake.

[Sister Honey Bunch]

Really bad choice by her dad. There was NO reason for her to be topless and the MINUTE it was suggested, Billy Ray should have halted the entire photo shoot.

[Kimberly]

Maybe I am too jaded to be outraged. And not shocked that there is a double standard: as a culture we are so against child pornography, but if it is "art", well then.

What if Hugh Hefner was printing the photos? Would it be art then?

I wasn't offended, btw, when Demi Moore posed naked and pregnant. Somehow that was something of a celebration of womanhood, and pregnant women should be celebrated. But this is ridiculous.

Idiots. Her parents, that is.

[lisa (lost pezhead)]

honestly i really don't see what the big deal is. it is extremely hard to be in hollywood and still live like you have morals. just cause you're on a disney show that seems somewhat wholesome, doesn't mean the actors or their families are. children should be taught to have real life role models, not moviestars and singers.

[Rach]

My in-laws swore up and down that her dad was really responsible and wasn't going to allow stardom to get to her head. I swore up and down that it was a bad deal; him letting her get into show biz that much, that fast.

Guess I was right.

[Melanie]

Shannon-

He wasn't just on the set. He took some of the pictures with her. Not topless ones, but inappropriate nonetheless.

I wish a former child star would come forward and stick up for Miley.

[jennielynn]

My first reaction was "What's the big deal?" I saw the photos and they weren't showning anything. BUT the more I thought about it, the more I realized that these photos are provocative and inappropriate for a 15 year old. Her parents and management team have done their utmost to market her as wholesome and innocent and those photos are not evidence of that.

I don't think any parent who pursues stardom for their child is a good parent. I don't care how much the child want it. The entertainment industry is a destructive thing, especially for young people. Very little good comes from allowing your child to be sold as a commodity. Children should be allowed to be children.

I don't say this as someone ignorant of the industry. Drama Queen was a beautiful baby and we were repeatedly approached by agents and casting directors (the peril of living in So Cal) but I always said no. My child is not for sale. No part of her. I would think someone who had been chewed up and spit out by the business (as Billy Ray most certainly was) would have been more cautious of his child.

It's just sad.

[Eva]

Stuff like this is why we only watch an hour of TV a week. And why we homeschool. And why we don't buy products advertising TV and movies.

And why we've been accused of sheltering our kids. Um, why shouldn't a kid have shelter?

[Jen]

I agree with the previous comments. But, I also think this a GREAT opportunity for us as parents to Stop. Pray. Think...about Who it is God wants our children to emulate. It won't be anyone walking around our houses, our streets, our churches, or (most definitely!) on TV. He wants us to teach our children to look to Christ. Period. Sure, our kids are going to admire others (I know I do!), but it's our job to be sure that admiration is kept in its' proper place and doesn't become an idol. And that their admiration is focused on the Christ-like qualtities of others. While it sickens me to think of this poor girl and the way she is being paraded as a "sex symbol," I thank God for the reminder to be mindful of who my girls are watching and learning from.

[JanMary, N Ireland]

I too was disappointed to read about this. My daughters are big fans, age 10 and 8. We too need to talk about this in our house.

[T with Honey]

This quote by Miley Cyrus summed it for me, 'And you can't say no to Annie. She's so cute. She gets this puppy dog look and you're like, 'O.K.'

Sounds like the photographer did a wonderful job of convincing a teenager to do something she didn't really want to do.