If you don't hear from me for a while, it's because the bazillions of ants that have invaded my home have lifted me up, carried me out and are feeding me to their queen. I CANNOT GET RID OF THEM.
They are happily ignoring the little ant-killing disks I have set out. In fact, I'm just sure I've detected a few smirks from their microscopic little faces: "Crazy giant lady thinks she can obliterate us with cheap plastic black things? Pshaw."
Please help me, oh great internet. How do I get rid of them? At this point, I don't care if it's toxic--I'll do anything short of dropping a nuclear bomb in my own house. And I might do that.