Rocks In My Dryer

Two-Thirds

...But that shirt.  For a simple piece of 100% cotton, it surely has banged my heart around this week.  It is entirely too concrete of a reminder for me.  It hangs in my laundry room at this very minute, freshly laundered and ready to be worn on the back of my lanky boy.  And every time I walk past it, I swear, I think I hear a clock ticking.  Tick-tock.  Tick-tock.  Two-thirds.  Two-thirds... {read the whole post at Parenting.com}

Order, Or Something Closely Resembling It

...Could we move New Year’s Day to, say, February 1st? It would give us a little more time to come down off the carb high, pay off the credit card bills, throw away the wrapping paper, and (for the third year in a row) find out where the kids hid the camel from the nativity scene. Is it too much to ask? Maybe all these years I’ve been failing at my new year’s resolutions have been less about my self-discipline and more about my distraction over the missing camel. It could be...  {read more at Parenting.com}

Good Night

It’s not very often you have a night so absolutely perfect you want to turn it over in your head again and again.  I had a night like that last weekend, and I raced home to write it all down... {read more at Parenting.com}

I'm taking a little breather over the holidays and will be back to regular posting on Tuesday, January 6th.  WFMW will return on January 7th.  In the meantime, I'm running a few posts from the archives.  Happy new year to you!

We Interrupt This Blog Break For a Very Important Announcement

I told you about The Mother Letter Project several weeks ago.  The organizer, "Danny", wrote to me to tell me that his wife reads my blog, and would I consider a writing letter?

I did.  And I told you girls about it.  And you wrote letters.  And then you blogged about it.  What started as a simple gift from one husband to one wife has turned into something much bigger.  Good ideas have a way of doing that.

Danny and I have e-mailed often in recent weeks, as he's kept me informed about his progress.  He even gave me a few sneak peeks at some of the letters.  Some of them made me smile.  A few made me weep.  Danny and a group of his faithful friends have spent hundreds of hours getting this project together.   The scope has been huge. 

Danny e-mailed me back this week to ask if I'd like to be in on the big "reveal" to his wife.  After succumbing to a giant case of goosebumps, I said "YES, PLEASE!  LET ME HELP!"  Oh, how I love a Christmas surprise. 

So, my sweet internet friends, it is my great blessing to tell you about a very sweet momma named...

...are you ready?...

...I mean, seriously, are you ready?...

...(oh my word, this is so much fun)....

...Amber.  She has three little boys, Isaac, Jude and Ian.  She and her husband Danny Seth live in Arkansas.  And right at this very moment she is standing a computer screen at her sister's house in Alabama, hopefully jumping up and down and squealing with joy at a remarkable gift. 

(Hey, Amber?  I can HARDLY WAIT to e-mail with you and hear your reaction to all this.  Can I just tell you that you are married to a man who is so absolutely crazy about you?  Sweetest thing ever.)

For more big surprises about the reveal, visit The Mother Letter Project on Christmas Day.  Some really good stuff will be posted first thing on Christmas morning.  Those of you who participated will get some information about getting your own e-copy of the project.

And just for grins, pop over to Amber's blog (it's absolutely lovely; I've been reading it for several weeks now, unable to comment because I didn't want to give her any clues that The Mother Letter Project was for her!)  Amber has been hard at work on a remodeling project and hasn't gotten to devote as much time to blogging as she'd like, but she has still written some amazing stuff.  Let's flood her with some Merry Christmas wishes and round out the surprise!

Thanks, everyone--especially to those of you who wrote your own letters and blogged about it at your own blogs.  Remember to stop by The Mother Letter Project for more good stuff.

[Back to the blogging break now.  Merry Christmas!]

Course Correction

I'm not exactly sure where my Sanity Train left the tracks this month.  But I am, somehow, way off-course.

I generally try to keep my head about me during the holidays.  I try to plan ahead, set aside time for traditions, keep a healthy focus outside of myself. 

Not this year. 

I've been busy to a degree that borders on frantic.  I've been cranky.  Distracted.  Rushed.  My focus has been everywhere except where it should be. 

And I could give you a laundry list of reasons for this, of course: unexpected family events, school musicals, increasing work-load, busy Hubs, and a partridge in a pear tree.

The real reason, I suspect, is a heart that was already too busy and hurried heading into the holiday season.

Last week, I went shopping with my oldest son.  I carried a clipboard, like some scary gym teacher, and I think I may have been muttering under my breath.  At one point, Adam sidled up next to me. 

"Mom," he asked, "is Christmas stressful?"

I looked at him quizzically. 

"I mean," he continued, in a classic example of pre-adolescent understatement, "you've just seemed a little tense lately.  Is Christmas stressful for you?"

I took a deep breath, a breath I should've taken about a month ago. 

No, I told him.  Christmas is not stressful.  Christmas is holy.  People are stressful.  I am stressful.  I take what is lovely and, whether by accident or design, I cover it with expectations and selfishness and over-committment and who knows what else.  What is lovely gets lost.

Well, not really.  It's never lost.  Maybe my line of vision gets skewed.  Maybe my hurried heart falters.  But what is lovely and precious and staggering about this most holy time?  It's still there.  He is still there.  In the manger.  In the heavens.  In my fickle heart.

In the interest of focus-shifting, I'm heading out for a little breather to reflect, quiet down, hug on my kids, and eat lots of stuff that is very bad for me over the next couple of weeks.  For grins, I'll probably run a few things from the archives.  I'll see you back here on Tuesday, January 6.

(OH!  One big exception to this blog break:  I will pop in briefly tomorrow with a hugely fun piece of scoop about The Mother Letter Project.  Seriously, you will not want to miss this fantastic bit of news, AND you'll be able to help with part of the big "reveal".  But then?  Back to the blog break.)

In the meantime, may you find a quiet breather yourself the next two weeks.  May you laugh and rest and worship.  May there be pie in your house, and much of it.  May your kitchen be cleaned by magical elves.  May your days be mer-r-r-r-r-r-r-y and bri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight.  And may all your, um, spaniels be shrunken.

Merry Christmas, my friends, and grace and peace to you in the new year.

My Tree

My Christmas tree sometimes smells like a stinky old sippy cup.  You can read more about it at Parenting...

Hey! I Have Top-Secret BlissDom Scoop!

And by "top secret", I mean "anyone who visited the BlissDom site could find out about it so actually it's not a secret at all." 

Anyway.

If you register for the BlissDom conference by December 31, you get a pretty sweet little early-bird discount.  This is shaping up to be a very informative women's blogging conference (except for the fact that they've asked me to speak, which may be grounds to question their good judgment).

The conference is in Nashville, on February 6 and 7.  Sign up and come on! 

I Think I've Been Replaced

...A couple of months ago, my daughter began to realize that there was actually another parent in this house, and he’s very cool. His arms are much stronger in tickle fights, he’s not always trying to tug tangles out of hair, and he doesn’t especially care if you take your vitamins.

He’s the dad. And she is smitten. And she has moved on – entirely, it would seem – from me...

{Read more at Parenting.com}

Over at Parenting...

...I'm talking (again) about Christmas cards.  More specifically, the generic Christmas letter.  As in, should you or shouldn't you?  Is it braggy or helpful?  Obnoxious or warm?  Time-consuming or time-saving?  Please, come weigh in with your thoughts, because I have a pile of unmailed Christmas cards on the counter next to me, and my mind isn't yet made up...

A Random Assortment of Loose Ends Which Need To Be, Um, Unloosened

Due, at least in part, to the incredible way you girls took off with the Mother Letter project a couple of weeks ago, the response has been fantastic.  "Danny" has just barely squeaked past 300 letters, but it's not too late to submit yours (details here).  In a funny turn of events, he has gotten several e-mails from women who are convinced he is actually their husband, working on this surprise for them.  The real, honest-to-goodness Danny's Wife doesn't suspect a thing.  Irony!  I love irony!

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Blisfully Domestic is hosting BlissDom '09, a blogging conference, in early February; details just went live yesterday.  It's in Nashville, TN, the weekend of February 6 and 7.  I'll be there as one of the speakers, so come on and make faces at me from the audience so that I won't be nervous.

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If you’ve been over to Antique Mommy, you’ve noticed that her site is off line.  Some of you have written to express concern over this, and let me reassure you that she is just fine.  She’s doing some maintenance on her site and hopes to be back on-line soon.

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Wanted to remind you to check out this post--it went up over the holiday weekend, so you might not have seen it.  Lots of people chimed in with links to their favorite Etsy stores, and I have been a big lump of browsy unproductiveness ever since.  (I don't think "browsy" is actually a word, but don't you like it?)

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Several of you have e-mailed to make sure I've heard about this story, a judge in Colorado who punishes noise ordinance violaters by making them listen to Barry Manilow.  No, I have no comment, because I'm too busy seething in righteous indignation.

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I think that's it.  Y'all have a good weekend.

Safe Stories

My grandfather gave me a remarkable gift, six years after his death.  I'm writing about it over at Parenting.com today...

What I'm Thankful For

I had a bad day last week.  A BAD day.  An I'm-a-terrible-mother-and-I've-completely-ruined-this-and-where-do-I-go-to-resign day. 

I popped on to Twitter, and I wrote the following:

And then, before I had to time to get a good cry started, the following happened:

And that's it.  I'm just really thankful that I'm not the only one who thinks this is hard.  And I'm thankful for women who reach out to each other.

Because We're a Happy Family, Dangit

But as I drove to the park, I found my shoulders tensing a little, carrying with me the previous years' baggage of stressful photo-taking. Irrationally, I found myself a little mad at everyone before we even got out of the car. I turned around in my seat before they all piled out, and I pointed a stern finger.

"I expect cooperation, guys. Let's get organized, pay attention, and get out there and ACT LIKE A FAMILY THAT LOVES EACH OTHER."

Ah, yes. Peace on earth, goodwill toward men...

{Read more at Parenting.com}

It Would Make Me Very Happy If You'd Read This Post. Thank You.

Let me tell you a little story.

Danny (not his real name, and you'll understand why in a minute) is a husband and father who wanted to do something special for his wife this Christmas.  They were both fed up with the materialistic emptiness the holidays often brought: "typical American Christmas—gizmos, gadgets, whatnots, and an oversized helping of turkey," as he calls it.

This was spurred, in part, by a trip to Africa in 2008.  When he saw the great need there, he knew he had to do something better with his money this Christmas. 

He and his wife agreed that they would spend no money on each other this year, instead sending as much as they could to the humanitarian efforts underway in the village Danny visited.  In place of material gifts to each other, they would make gifts for each other, gifts that didn't cost money--only effort and creativity.

He hatched a brilliant idea. 

His wife is the mother of small children, a season of life often fraught with discouragement and exhaustion.  He began asking some mothers he knew in real life to submit letters of encouragement to her, sharing their best bits of motherhood wisdom.  He planned to collect the letters to give to her Christmas morning.

Danny's idea was well-received by friends, but he began to realize his "mother network" was fairly small.  He wanted to broaden the scope of his idea and find a way for more women to encourage his wife.

The Mother Letter Project was born.

This is a simple blog that tells his family's story, and it invites women--strangers, friends, from all walks of life--to write a letter to his wife, encouraging her in her mothering journey.

He wrote to me to say that his wife is a faithful reader of my blog, and would I consider writing a letter for the project?

Um, well, seeing as how this is the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my whole life, YES, I will write a letter.  And not only will I write a letter, I'm going to tell every single one of you to write a letter, because did I mention that this is the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my whole life?  I can't decide which part of the story is more touching:  a husband going to such lengths to encourage his wife?  A family committed to changing the life of an African village?  A treasure trove of wisdom for mothers, all in one place?  The whole thing just makes me smile. 

Here is the blog Danny has set up to manage the project.  He has revealed as much information as he can without giving away his identity.  His wife is a participant in the blogospherre, and he doesn't want to ruin the surprise for her.  It's highly likely she is reading this very post, with no idea of the lovely gift waiting for her!

Oh, delicious irony, how I love you.

(Pssst.  If you think this might be your husband who is doing this, don't let on that you know.  Because I have corresponded with Danny, and let me tell you, your man LOVES you and is trying to crazy-hard to knock your socks off this Christmas.  Don't spoil it for him, okay?)

(And?  If it's not your husband doing this project, but you're dying to read the collection of letters, then you're in luck, because he'll e-mail you a copy of the finished document after Christmas. 

(I think everyone is going be looking all mushy at their husbands tonight.)

Though this whole thing started as a simple idea, a modest and thoughtful gift from one husband to one wife, it is quickly growing beyond that scope.  This project has the potential to encourage many mothers.  I want to be a part of it.  I hope you will too. 

If you'd like to participate in the Mother Letter Project, you can read the full instructions here.  Write a letter, even a quick one.  Encourage another mom.  Save a copy for your daughter or niece or neighbor down the street.  Heck, save a copy for you and read it back to yourself tomorrow, when you're about to pull your hair out.  If you have a blog, consider posting about this project.  Wouldn't it be fun to help Danny blow the top off this project?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a letter to write...

*update*  To answer a question that has trickled in a couple of times, yes, Danny knew ahead of time I was posting about this, and I consulted closely with him about how much information to include.  Some of you were concerned this would spoil the surprise for his wife--but don't worry, every bit of this was done with his permission and blessing.  He's actually overwhelmed by your generous response so far.  Please keep those letters rolling in!