Fun

Some Simple Things I Find Very Satisfying

Really good measuring cups.

Clean sheets.

A bowl of pasta with butter and a dash of salt.

My grandmother and my daughter laughing together.

Potholders that have not yet been burned and stained.

When my kids leave for school.

When they come back home again.

The sound of wind chimes.

Flannel.

Ken's Sweet Vidalia Onion salad dressing. 

The sound of a boiling pot.

An empty dishwasher.

My cold feet pressed against my warm husband (though I doubt he finds it quite as satisfying).

A good rainstorm.

The end of a good rainstorm.

What about you?

Stay-At-Home Moms Worth $117,000 a Year

Well, there you go.

Heading out to the mailbox right now to wait for my check.

No, Really, I'm Not Here

I'm still on a bloggy break, seriously--just pretend you can't see me.  But I had to share this picture of the sweet little drama going on in the hanging flower basket just outside my backdoor:

Birds

They are the sweetest little things you've ever seen.  Their little necks pop up and their mouths open wide when their momma flies in.  And this momma has banned all bats and balls from the backyard until the little ruggers have taken wing. 

Now, if I were here, which I'm not, because I'm on a break, but IF I were, this is where I would remind you that WFMW is a themed edition this week:  What DOESN'T Work For Me

See you then.   

Hypothetically

I know there are several first-time parents of babies reading this blog, so let me tell you an immutable truth of parenting that you will almost certainly be needing within the next decade:

If (and I'm speaking purely hypthetically here, of course) one of your children (hypothetically) plops down next to you and (hypothetically) says something such as, "Hi, Mom.  I just haven't gotten to sit and talk to you in a long time, and I'm just wondering, how are you doing?  Did you have a good day?" then you may be sure that at least one of the following is true:

A)  There is broken glass somewhere.
B)  There is paint somewhere.
C)  There is a report card somewhere.
D)  There is a new Wii game coming out.
E)  Someone's fist has "accidentally" drawn blood out of someone's nose.
F)  Someone has hacked into the CIA homepage.
G)  Someone has "accidentally" set your house on fire.

Do you have any you'd like to add?

Spring Fashion Fiesta

Sff Today my friend Big Mama is hosting the Spring Fashion Fiesta, in which we should post "the dreams we have for our closet". 

I don't blog about clothes very often, mostly because (unlike my fashion-savvy friends), I don't have a lot to add to the conversation.  My primary fashion goal boils down to this:

Don't embarrass anybody. 

And it is not something I always achieve.  Go ahead and ask Sophie about the time in Africa I almost wore white socks--with pink toes--with sandals, because we were getting on a plane and my feet were cold.  I believe Sophie's exact words were, "Honey, I love you too much to let you do that."

I would like to tell you that I neglect fashion because I'm such a Deep Thinker, and because I'm generally Too Serious to care about such frivolity.

In fact, it's because I have such serious hair issues that the part of brain that governs personal appearance is just too tied up wondering what to do with my bangs. 

But in the spirit of Big Mama's carnival, I will do my best to muster up my very paltry fashion observations:

1.  Low-waist jeans are of the devil. 
I know they are fashionable, but there are very few people that can pull this off, especially if you have ever housed another little human in your abdominal area.  I have made it my goal to find jeans that are fashionable but still actually come all the way up to my belly button, in order to hold everything in.  Anyway, low-waist jeans serve no purpose for me, because no one ever sees my waist band.  I haven't tucked in a shirt in the last seven years, nor will I ever again, most likely.

2.  Empire waist shirts are the greatest invention since disposable diapers.
Shirts that are snug around the bust and then flowy around the mid-section cover a multitude of sins.  That's all I have to say about that.

3.  I hope capri pants never go out of style, because I will never stop wearing them.
The alternative to capri pants, of course, are shorts, and those days are long gone for me.  I will wear capri pants until I die, long after they go out of style.  My grandchildren will shake their heads at me for this the same way I shake my head at women who wear polyester pants.  I do not care.

4.  Can we please just get over the high-heel thing already?
Everybody's wearing high-heels with jeans.  And capris.  And even shorts.  Whatever.  I suspect that the person who first started this trend never had to chase a three year old through the frozen-food section.  If I feel I must have a heel, I generally go with wedges.  They're much easier on the feet. 

5.  Men dig skirts.
Or at least, my man does, and he's really the only man I'm worried about.  Every spring, when I start wearing skirts again, he always says, "I love it when you wear skirts!  Why haven't you been wearing them?"  And I remind him that it's been, you know, winter.  But all spring and summer I make a special effort to wear sporty skirts a lot.  They're cooler than pants, and my husband swoons.  Oh yes.  He swoons.

And that is all.

For a longer list of posts from people who actually know what they're talking about, head over to Big Mama's place.

I Love You All, Even Though You're Dead Wrong

Hm.

Well.

Who knew so many of you pronounced it THUR-oh?  I'm a THUR-uh girl myself, even though Lisa said "I envision 'thur-uh' coming out of the mouth of a man named Jim Bob Billy as he is sitting in front of an old gas station with a piece of straw hanging out of his mouth."

Seeing as how I grew up around people named Jim Bob Billy who sit in front of gas stations, I suppose this would explain things. 

But really and truly, without a bit of sarcasm (OH, not a BIT) I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for participating so enthusiastically in a survey that publicly proves me wrong in a 14-year-old debate with my husband.  Oh, he's just going to be a peach to live with tonight. 

It's Just Good Multi-Tasking

The boys did some good work for me yesterday, and I rewarded them with a trip to the local dollar movie.

(By the way, our dollar movie has raised its prices to $1.50, but somehow "the dollar-fifty movie" doesn't quite flow off the tongue as nicely, does it?)

My kids had been begging to see Alvin and the Chipmunks.  And I was just as excited as I could possibly be, because an hour and a half of listening to chipmunk voices sounds like the very stuff that dreams are made of!

*cough*

In a moment of cleverness on our way out the door, I grabbed the book I'm reading and my little book light.  We sat at the back of the theater, and I got some good reading done while Alvin, Simon and Theodore did their stuff.  I had one tiny moment of guilt, wondering if my book light would disturb anyone around me.  But hey, I thought, it's the dollar-fifty movie, folks.  You get what you pay for.

Nobody was disturbed (I even turned the booklight sideways just to be sure, giving myself an arm cramp and a headache in the process), and I finished my book.  (It was so stunningly excellent I may have to break my own no-book-review policy in a future blog post.)

But that kind of productivity comes at a price, my friends.  While my mind was riveted to the words on the page, the words of the Chipmunks were evidently funneled straight into my subconscious.  I have been ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-banging myself into near madness all day.

Somebody make it stop.

Madness Indeed

March Madness is the only time  of year that my otherwise sensible husband goes crazy.  Before we had children, and the concept of "leisure time" still figured in to our vocabulary, I knew not to expect too much togetherness in March.  It was sacred time.

Basketball_2My man has college basketball running deep in his blood.  The first time I ever saw him cry was when the Arkansas Razorbacks won the NCAA tournament in 1994, three months before our wedding.  Tears of joy poured down his cheeks, and he planted a kiss on me that may still be the most enthusiastic one I've ever had.  Certainly the most salty.

He has made me promise that I will play One Shining Moment at his funeral someday.  I have reluctantly agreed, and I'm just praying I pre-decease him.  (Which, come to think of it, might not be such a good idea, or One Shining Moment might get played at my funeral.  Oh, heavens.)

As the years have gone by, his passion hasn't waned, but his leisure time has.  The demands of life keep him from watching as much college basketball as he'd like throughout the year, and he's been a real sport about it.  That man makes sacrifices more cheerfully than anyone I've ever known.

But when the second half of March rolls around, I can see the hairs on the back of his neck standing permanently at attention.  Now he has three boys who happily pile on the couch with him (though I suspect they're in it more for the steady flow of cheese dip).  He can fill out a bracket that will usually slay anyone else's.  In fact, I have learned that the easiest way to drive him STARK RAVIN' NUTS is to explain him to the reasoning behind my own convoluted bracket.  My logic for this year's bracket goes something like this:

1.  Always pick SEC teams.
2.  ORU and Oklahoma make it to the Sweet 16, because, well, they live in Oklahoma, and so do I.
3.  I have lots of friends from Kansas State and Texas A&M, so I have to vote for them.
4.  Gonzaga will advance far, because Gonzo has always been my favorite Muppet.
5.  So will Temple, because, well, Jesus worshipped in the temple, right?

[This is where his eyes start to roll back in his head.]

6.  I plan to vote for John McCain in November, so I have to pick Arizona to go far.
7.  Memphis will make it to the Final Four, because they have such nice barbecue.
8.  Duke will take the whole thing, because I feel sorry for Mike Krzyzewski that he has such a difficult last name.

Now you see why I never actually bet any money on this.

So if my blog posts seem disjointed the next couple of weeks, know that it's because I'm being interruped by shouts of joy and anguish coming from the man sitting on the couch next to me.  Well, and all the cheese dip.   

She's Just Like You, Only Hairier and With Sharper Teeth

I believe I've mentioned one or two or 18 times that, at the end of our trip to Uganda last month, we went on a weekend safari.  It was the experience of a lifetime. 

It turns out that the big prize in a Ugandan safari is the chance to see a lion.  They're hard to spot.  Our guide told us that our particular lodge often went two weeks without a lion spotting. 

We saw ten.

Our first lion encounter was along the banks of the Nile.  A mother and her six young cubs yawned and rested sleepily in the grass, barely noticing us gaping at them a mere 50 feet away. 

As we stood there in our safari vans, watching the mother with her babies, I was struck at how universal the motherhood experience is.  Even across species, so much of what we do is getting our tribe from point a to point b without anyone forgetting their lunch money or getting sniped by big-game hunters.  You know, the usual stuff.

Lion2

Lion3_2

Lion4

Lion5

Lion6 

Lion7

Lion8

Lion9

Poor girl.  I could totally relate.

(Gorgeous photos courtesy of Keely Scott.  Cheesy doctoring courtesy of me.)      

Just Plain Fun

Click on any of these to take the tests yourselves.

37

This next one is worth it just for the questions--hilarious!

14

60

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Dang.


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