Let the Party Pooper-ing Begin

This last week, seven-year-old Stephen was invited to go with a friend to a rock concert.  A ROCK CONCERT.  He's seven.  Seven.  Did I mention he's seven?  Isn't your first rock concert supposed to be some sort of grand, coming-of-age experience?  And isn't it supposed to happen when you're, say, 14 or 15?  I declined the invitation, as politely as I could (though I was honest and told the other mom that "we feel like a rock concert is a bit much for a seven year old", which she probably took as a judgment on her own parenting decisions, but oh well...)

And THEN, not 24 hours later, nine-year-old Adam was invited to a sleepover.  At a girl's house.  My wonderfully naive boy could not understand why this was unacceptable to us, and I told him he'd just have to trust Dad and me on this one until he's old enough to understand.  Thankfully, that was good enough for him.  This time.

And so it begins.  These boys are slowly but surely entering the pre-adolescent years, in which every week--every day--may bring a judgment call on my part that will be hard for my kids to stomach.  My own memories are all too fresh of the eye-rolling I did at my how-can-they-be-so-strict parents.  And yet, I happily (and nervously) prepare to follow in their footsteps--asking questions, talking to parents, setting limits, holding my ground.  I'm trusting they'll love me for it the way I do my own parents. 

Am I ready for this?

Comments

[edj]

Oh yeah. Bring it on! My oldest's 11 now, and we're already seeing mood swings, extra obnoxiousness, and stinky socks.
I'm reading "Age of Opportunity" and highly recommend it as a good parenting-of-teens book (but you've got a couple of years).

[GiBee]

Yes ... you ARE ready for this ... because in Christ, you can do ALL things, friend! All. And so far ... you're doing a great, GREAT job.

Christ, I'm certain, is smiling down on you from the heavens as you wade through rearing your children in an a way that is honoring and pleasing to him ... even if the choices are hard and not understood by your kids.

Like you, I appreciate my overly protective, and strict parents, and I know your kids will appreciate you, too!

Keep up the great work, Shannon!

And -- um -- keep sharing your experiences with us newer moms, 'kay? (heh, heh!)

[Anne Glamore]

You are KIDDING me! I thought things were moving pretty fast in our neighborhood, but the concert and opposite sex sleepover ideas haven't hit yet. Thank God.

I guess He knows I have all I can handle right now.

[Mike]

We'll probably have trouble explaining why opposite sex sleepovers aren't okay since the kids (boy/girl twins) will probably be sharing a room for quite a while. But, if I trusted the parental monitoring of the party, maybe I wouldn't care. I still have a few years to figure it out. They are 3.

By the way, who was the rock concert for?

[qtpies7]

The rock concert doesn't shock me, but I agree its pretty young to be going at 7! My husband is taking my 11 yo for the first time this year, and I'm still not sure he should be going! (Thankfully my husband loves the loud music so I never have to chaperone those things! I HATE loud music!)
But a co-ed sleepover????? Seriously??? At what age do you draw the line? When do you suddenly start explaining to your kids that its ok for Bobby to sleep over until he's 12, but then its not ok anymore??? Why would you even start? Its different when your best friend is watching your kids for a sleepover.
I have 6 kids and have never had this happen. Amazing!
God bless,
qtpies7

[Jennie C.]

Ready or not, you don't have a choice!

[Aunt Murry]

Wow a rock concert and a co-ed sleep over in the same week? I didn't get to go to a rock concert until I was in college and it was Barry Manilow...that is as Rock as I was able to get. My how times have changed. I think I am glad that I am an Aunt Murry instead of a Momma Murry

[Edge]

This is one of my favorite essays on the subject. Maybe you'll enjoy it, too:
The Cards Do!

[Maren]

Woo! Moments like these make me thankful that I'm not a parent yet!

My nephew's first concert was N'Sync at the age of maybe 5-7 and even though it was an incredible show, it was a little too loud for him and he would have liked it better on tv.

Just wondering why a 9 year old girl wants boys at her sleepover? I mean I didn't want boys spending the night when I was 9, but I guess that equates to what... 15 in today's world?! Yikes!

[Lynne]

I'm not surprised about the concert. My daughter was invited to a rock concert to accompany another girl at the age of nine. The mom (dentist) told me they would be getting back around 1am (on a school night). The dad is an ER doctor. I don't think they spend much time with their two daughters and do something grand like this to make up for it.
Both my husband and I work, so I don't say this to criticize their working, just observations I have made about them spending a lot of their non-work time doing things the adults enjoy without their kids.
Anyway, I told the girl my daughter was not allowed to do something like that on a school night, thank you for inviting her but please ask someone else to go with you.

[Heather]

ROCK concert - as in Adult music??? Not like the Wiggles, Laurie Berkner or some other appropriate concert?? HUH? Those things are truly TOO LOUD for adults ears and can cause damage! What are they thinking?

As for the little girl - I tend to err on the side of the little girl also not having a clue that it's not appropriate.

[Heather]

ROCK concert - as in Adult music??? Not like the Wiggles, Laurie Berkner or some other appropriate concert?? HUH? Those things are truly TOO LOUD for adults ears and can cause damage! What are they thinking?

As for the little girl - I tend to err on the side of the little girl also not having a clue that it's not appropriate.

[Redneck Diva]

I'm not sure that "ready" is the word I'm using to describe how I feel about this stage. I have a 10 year old and a nearly 8 year old and I'm stunned at what kids do and experience these days. I'm much more liberal than my parents were, but still I find myself gasping at what some of the other kids are allowed to do!

Sign of the times I guess.

[Karen]

Wow. I'm surprised by both of those invitations. What ever happened to GI Joe parties in the backyard with hotdogs??

[Rach]

A sleepover at a girls' house? at 9? are you kidding?

[jeana]

I'm with you, girlfriend. Good grief.

[Bethany]

OMIGOSH!! That infuriates me! A coed sleepover? At nine? At any age...but at NINE??? Bring on the party-poopering! And more power to you!

(We brought my five year old to a Jars of Clay concert. Does that count as a rock concert? Hehe.)

[dcrmom]

Oh, I am so afraid. I went to my first rock concert when I was 25. That's how sheltered I was, lol. You are doing a great job, but it sure ain't easy, huh?

[Michelle-This One's for the Girls]

You have to wonder where is the good sense that the Lord gave these parents???

Silly, silly people.

[Deanna]

YIKES! on the concert and OHMYGOSHYAGOTTABEKIDDING on the sleepover!!!!

Personally I think raising boys is easier...with boys you just have to worry about one kid...with girls you have to worry about that one plus every boy within a 1 mile radius of where ever she is !!

[chilihead]

Yowza. You know, I actually entertained the thought of taking Wild Thing and Max to a Cheetah Girls/Hannah Montana concert when it comes to town next month. Then I shook my head and cleared it and realized: THAT IS CRAZY. Oh, and I'm too cheap to buy the tickets.

[lauraL]

you do pick and choose your battles....you are just starting out in this new frontier.
I have learned this already and still ometimes I have to top, pray, think and choose what is right for my kid and my kid alone.
judge me if you must but I believe this was a good thing I did with my then 9 year old.
http://adventuresinjuggling.blogspot.com/2005/12/breakaway-ing.html
Itis a memory we made together and will always have. We still talk about the fun we had to celebrate some very hard work.
Good for you for choosing what is right for your kiddos.

[Laurel Wreath]

This made me laugh. Yep I am the official party pooper in the family. Dad makes me play the heavy most of the time. I am fortunate that we have a family that likes to do stuff together, but I know that will change. My oldest with been an official teenager next year. Sigh.... Lord have mercy.

[Bups]

That is nuts - but as scary as it is - it is almost becoming the norm - my 9 yr old son told me about a girl he had a crush on in class (grade 4), but he said he wouldn't talk to her because her TWO ex-boyfriends still liked her and didn't want her to get a new boyfriend.

These kids are 9! I told him that she probably isn't the kind of girl he would like anyway.