Stephen's rat died last week. It was his first encounter with death, at least in his conscious memory, and the sag of his shoulders and sobs coming from deep in his chest were enough to break this momma's heart. As I held my boy, trying to will comfort into him, I knew I'd never loved him more than I had at that moment.
And then Stephen's little brother Joseph, empathetically weeping with his brother, offered to give Stephen his own much-loved rat, in hope of easing the pain. And I hugged my generous boy close and knew I'd never loved him more than I had at that moment.
And then, a few minutes later, I watched from the warmth of the kitchen as Hubs pounded away at the ice with a shovel, digging a little rat-sized grave. And I watched his strong arm around my Stephen's shoulders, leaning down to our son's level to hold a little ratty funeral in the frigid, pelting ice. I knew I'd never loved that man more than I had at that moment.
And yes, I know there is a very odd irony that these precious life moments were brought about by rats--rats, of all things!--but isn't that just the way of things sometime? The messes mixed in with the joy, the heartache stirred up with the oddities. Living life is a mixed bag, isn't it?
Amen!
Posted by: Jeannette | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 04:41 AM
Very touching post. And yes...life is a mixed bag. It's nice that you can see (and so nicely describe) the beautiful in the bad!
Posted by: Beth_C | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 05:22 AM
Didn't you just get those rats? Can you get a rat refund? Isn't it funny what reminds us what love is?
Posted by: karen | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 05:44 AM
Pure love ... you experienced only as a mother/wife can feel ... thank you for sharing a beautiful story.
Perhaps Santa can bring another rat for Stephen?
Posted by: Nancy | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 06:09 AM
I like how your younger son was comforting his older brother and willing to give up his own little critter. At times like that - you can see how siblings do love one another.
Sometimes our kids are always bugging each other, teasing/fighting that it drives everyone CRAZY. But then one gets hurt or sick or teased by someone other than the sibling - and they show their love...go to the defense of their sibling...bring books and toys to the sick sibling. Feel badly for each other.
Hope your son is cheered...
Posted by: Edi | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 06:30 AM
Had a similar experience with a Beta Fish. It's odd to note what God uses to teach us, isn't it.
So sorry for his tears and hurt.
Posted by: Activities Coordinator | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 06:42 AM
Amen and Amen!
Your boys learned it from you and your husband. Your doing a great job!
Posted by: chocolatechic | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 07:16 AM
Where ever and when ever it's least expected....that's where the love shines through, lovely post and I hate rats...lol
Posted by: Niki@RuralWritings | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 07:41 AM
Oh, RATS! That just stinks out loud. Poor baby. What a sweet young man, your son is. Cheer them up with Home Alone 3, I think it is. Dorothy, the pet rat is one of the stars of the show. Very cute.
Posted by: deborah | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 07:43 AM
What a beautiful post. Especially considering how you felt about the rats, it's clear you love your family thousands of times more than you ever hated the rats.
Posted by: Coralie | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 07:43 AM
That is so sweet.
Posted by: Alicia | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 07:44 AM
It's tough sometimes.
When K was in the 5th grade, someone gave us a well loved hamster. She immediately attached herself (emotionally, not literally) to K.
Unfortunately awhile later K developed pneumonia, which transmitted to the hamster. There were vet visits, antibiotics and such for abit. Until the poor thing just up and choked to death on a seed.
Nibbles is buried in our old front yard, covered in rocks, with a wee little cross to mark her place. And I thought nothing of missing a staff meeting to be there.
Posted by: kelli | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 07:48 AM
Beautiful observation, Shannon.
(And you're quite sure no rat poison was involved in the untimely demise?)
If you don't own it already, maybe "Ratatouille" is an appropriate gift this Christmas.
Posted by: Kelly @ Love Well | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 07:56 AM
Last year, we buried a bearded dragon in the backyard and had a mini funeral. It was sweet and my husband and I smiled at how different our lives had become as we were standing there in the backyards in our bathrobes with a shovel and crying children.
Six months later, they dug it up to see what it looked like. Gross.
Posted by: Melissa | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 08:14 AM
Oh that was just lovely. I never thought I'd say that about a post about a dead rat, but it's true.
Posted by: Antique Mommy | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 08:16 AM
Oh shoot...that's terrible! We've had so many experiences like yours; our back yard is pitted with graves.
Wow, that sounds morbid. Anyway, many tender hugs to all of you. Your boys sound just too sweet.
Posted by: Jenni | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 08:17 AM
oh that's sad! Do rats usually have that short a life span? Or was it an older rat when he got it?
That was a very touching post. I hope Stephen feels better soon!
Posted by: Jenn | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 08:43 AM
that totally made me cry!
Posted by: katie | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 08:50 AM
I just finished reading this post and then read this one. Maybe this giant rat would live longer? Just kidding. He looks big enough to eat the other rat. And that would not be good. http://www.parentdish.com/2007/12/18/giant-rat-discovered/
Posted by: Mrs. Who | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 08:53 AM
What a great brother.
Posted by: Veronica Mitchell | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:00 AM
Oh. That really is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry!
Posted by: Christy | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:01 AM
We've experienced rodent death around here recently, too, but ours was still under warranty . . . no funeral.
Yet, even rats and other rodents can be a catalyst for life lessons. Thanks for sharing yours, Shannon. Precious brother relationships certainly deserve a little spotlighting. You're a great set of parents with precious children.
Posted by: pam | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:08 AM
What a touching post. And yes... life truly is a mixed bag! Some moments seem so much more of a mix than others!!
I'm so sorry your sons experienced their first "loss"... but very grateful that they had you, their mother, by their side to love them through it!!
Posted by: momrn2 | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:09 AM
Oh, so sorry about the rat. I think we probably all have memories of losing that first pet. And what sweet men (big and little) God has blessed you with!
Posted by: Jeni | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:09 AM
(Yeah, we're not the only ones with rats!)...
Our little Jolene still wants to dig up her hamster from over the summer, she doesn't quite understand that it's not there anymore.
Heaven help me if one of our rats pass on. We've lots many a pet, a bunny, three hamsters, many many fish... I wish it got easier.
Posted by: TaderDoodles | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:26 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about Stephen's little rat...was this Nellie the sneezer? Rats have a big personality housed in those cute little bodies.
Posted by: Cathy | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:51 AM
Who would have thought a post about rats would make a tear well up in my eye?!
Posted by: faithful chick | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:52 AM
Oops. I guess I don't win any good Mommy awards. My son's beta fish died yesterday. I asked him what he wanted to do with it. He said he wanted to feed it to the cats. And touch it. I let him do both.
Posted by: Tara | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 10:05 AM
Oh, what a beautiful well-spring of love from a dead rat. No one said that God isn't into oddities when it comes to teaching us some good things.
Give Stephen a hug for me and one to his ever-so-loving brother. And I think Hubs deserves his favorite dessert for his heroics with the kids and you.
Posted by: Shalee | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 10:38 AM
Oh, the tears, they are welling. What a sweet post Sharon. Sniffle.
Posted by: Sue | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 10:42 AM
What a great post. You have a wonderful family. Who thought I'd be tearing up at a story about a dead rat that belonged to someone I'd never met!
Posted by: amy a | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 10:51 AM
That is too sweet!!! It's moments like this that it all pays off, huh??? :-) Even if it is about a rat!
Posted by: Jen | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 11:00 AM
Awwwww, that is so sweet. I'm sorry for the heartache that Stephen is experiencing. I still remember loosing my pets when I was little....still makes me sad when I think of how sad I was.
~melody~
Posted by: Melody from ~ Pennies In My Pocket ~ | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 11:23 AM
Great story Mrs. Dryer. Sorry to hear about your dearly departed.
Posted by: Cousin DV | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 11:29 AM
From one mama of a rodent lover to another, I'm so sorry to hear about Stephen's loss. Poor little guy.
Posted by: Karen | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 11:49 AM
All three of my kids were hearbroken when our beloved pet rat, Eve, died a couple of years ago. As sad as it was at the time, it helped that they had experienced that grief process when their grandmother passed away last year. They were able to draw from that first experience with mourning to know that they would not always feel so sad and that the time would come when they could remember the happy times- even tho' they still miss Grandma.
Posted by: Frazzmom | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 11:50 AM
Aw, send my condolences to Stephen. Has he read the "Rainbow Bridge" piece?
Posted by: Randall | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 12:24 PM
Just think what you would have missed if you had not taken the risk on these rats. You're a good mama.
Posted by: Elaine | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 01:03 PM
It was a pet, regardless of what it may have been. I remembering our rat getting sick and having to have him put to sleep. Yes, I paid to have the rat put to sleep! I got so much grief from people for paying someone to do that.
I agree with the comment above me, you're a good momma.
Posted by: Michelle | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 02:11 PM
It was a pet, regardless of what it may have been. I remember our rat getting sick and having to have him put to sleep. Yes, I paid to have the rat put to sleep! I got so much grief from people for paying someone to do that.
I agree with the comment above me, you're a good momma.
Posted by: Michelle | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 02:11 PM
Hold on, didn't you just get those rats two weeks ago?
Your poor boy. Lots of hugs for him.
Posted by: feefifoto | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 02:42 PM
Ratatouille for Christmas? I hope today has been better for all involved!
Posted by: Amy @ By His Grace | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 03:59 PM
Even rats are made by the Creator. Maybe to help us feel great love. So sorry for your son but so happy he is surrounded by a caring family.
Posted by: LeeAnnn | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 05:05 PM
I can't believe I just teared up over a rat!!!! Well, really it was over your sweet boys.....
Posted by: Beth | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 06:01 PM
We had kind of the same experience with a beta fish. Except little sister said to big sister, "Don't feel bad, dd#1. Maybe we can have Ling (the fish) for dinner." Touching, very touching...
Posted by: Sarah | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:00 PM
Rats! Now I'm all teary-eyed! That is so sweet. Sorry about the rat. :(
Posted by: Mommy Cracked | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:13 PM
Sounds like you are surrounded by some real men, Shannon. :>)
So sorry about the rat. Bless your son's sweet, little, tender heart.
Posted by: Melanie | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 09:53 PM
My heart goes out to your son at this time of loss. I may not be a friend of the rat family, but I can appreciate how hard it is to have a pet die.
Posted by: jean | Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 10:31 PM
Who knew the death of a rat could be so touching??? I love those tender, precious moments when one life touches another and it doesn't matter what the initiating event was... the love it evokes is a thing of wonder. I can stil go to the grave of my childhood-long pet cat and re-live the moment when my poor father straightended from digging a cat-sized hole in the frozen ground (why do they have to die in the winter????) and I sobbed, "I'm sorry I didn't have a pet mouse" to which we both laughed hysterically through our tears. A memory I will never forget and a tangible measure of my father's love.
Posted by: Sarah | Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 10:31 AM
I'm sorry I'm here so late to offer condolences. I've had rats for pets, and I was sad when I lost them. They truly are sweet animals, and I'm so sorry for Stephen. And Joseph! OMgosh, are you ever blessed to have such a dear little soul for a son! I can sure see where it comes from--you and your husband are something else.
This rattie-lover sends many hugs to your boys!
Posted by: mom2fur | Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 12:08 PM
Like I like to say, life is messy, but God brings moments like this to make it beautiful!
Posted by: jenn | Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 03:44 PM
Oh my. I skimmed over this post in my google reader because it had the word Rat in it. I just came back to it today and I am so glad I did. It was just so beautiful. Your family and their love for each other, is just so beautiful. I am sorry about the rat. :(
Posted by: chaotic joy | Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 08:11 PM
Sweetest brothers ever. . . this is one for the rehearsal dinner toast, mama. Thanks.
Posted by: Lisa Stone | Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 09:37 PM
Very sweet kids! If you are still in the market for a rat - I feel sure I can catch you one! Let me know! :)
Merry Christmas!
Posted by: Angi | Friday, December 21, 2007 at 03:37 PM