Works For Me: Backwards Edition!

Today is Works-For-Me Wednesday: The Backwards Edition.  That simply means that instead of offering a tip, you ask for one, posting a question that has had you stumped, letting your readers offer advice.

Now, I need your advice.

Lately, I've de-stuff-ifying.  De-cluttering.  Getting rid of the extras.  Simplifying. 

It feels good.  Except when it doesn't, because sometimes it's confusing.

Here's the dilemma:

For some convoluted reason, we registered for fine china when we got married, nearly 14 years ago.  We received ten complete place settings of Lenox Solitaire--it's a very formal ivory pattern with a wide silver band around it. 

That lovely silver band that makes it so pretty?  It also makes it so I can't put it in the dishwasher. 

I DON'T DO THINGS THAT CAN'T GO IN THE DISHWASHER.  (Interesting side note:  I even put my Pampered Chef baking stone in the dishwasher, a confession which has caused many a Pampered Chef consultant to gasp in horror.  Evidently, this is grounds for public flogging at the Pampered Chef Headquarters.  But I've been plopping the SAME stone in the dishwasher for 10 years, without it cracking or warping or coming out tasting like soap.  Let the flogging begin.)

Anyway, back to the china.

It's beautiful, but it's formal.  We don't use it.  We never have.  We never will.  We love having people over, but we cook burgers and put them on paper plates.  It's just who we are.  And no, I'm not the bring-it-out-for-special-occasions type of girl.  When Hubs and I have a quiet evening of romance, I don't want to sit at my kitchen table (which is permanently sticky, by the way), eating by candlelight off of plates I'm going to have to handwash later.  On occasions like that, we just go out.

But y'all, these plates are like new.  They still have the Dillard's price tags on the bottom of each piece.  It's kind of sad to think that all that money was spent on us for wedding gifts, when we should've just asked for Wal Mart gift cards instead.  That would've bought a lot of Hamburger Helper, which is what we existed on our first year of marriage.

I promise, this is coming to a point.

It seems terribly wasteful to keep dishes we'll never use.  They take up a lot of space in my dining room cabinet.  We checked into selling them back to a dealer, but the whole set was going to bring in something crazy like $200.  Ebay didn't look much more promising.

So here's my question.  What should I do with the china?  Get rid of it?  Sell it for pennies on the dollar?  Store it in the attic in case my daughter wants it someday?  Burn off a little PMS energy and smash them in the floor? (I'm kidding, Mom, I won't do that.  Probably.)

What do you think I should do with it?  How can I be sensible and generous and practical with a cabinet full of unused, expensive china?

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Comments

[Angie @ Many Little Blessings]

I might be apt to sell them, personally. The way I look at it, even $200 is better than having things sit around that you have no use for.

If you just can't abide by that (LOL), then I would store them in the attic. Maybe they'll increase in value over time or they might be nice to hand down to someone (as you said).

Good luck!

[Jill]

We didn't register for china for the exact same reason. Those ladies at the registry try to strong arm you into doing so and then look at you like you have just lit a baby on fire when you say you don't want to. Anyway, I vote for sell it. Honestly what else are you going to do with it.

That being said, my mom just passed down her china to me and I love it. I got it out for Thanksgiving and was so excited to use it. Then again, it is dishwasher safe (or at least I put it in there) so I will use it occasionally. I am with you on not using something I can't stick in there. Why on God's green earth would I wash something by hand when there is a perfectly good machine to do that for me. That would be like crawling around the floor picking up crumbs with my hands.

This comment is way too long, but apparently fine china is something I have a lot of opinions about. Who knew?

[Lori ~ Simple Life at Home]

After agonizing over this very issue for years, last year I decided to sell it. Yes, it was for pennies on the dollar. But I was free of it! It feels good not to have it here - making me feel like a failure for not using it more often, taking up space and not contributing one blessed thing to my life. I say get rid of it!

Seriously, someone should tell brides-to-be to forgo the china and ask for something more practical, like a year's supply of babysitting once babies come along!

[Rookie Mom 101]

No problemo...I would go to Bed Bath and Beyond with the 20% coupon of course and buy the storage containers for china. Lillian Vernon.com also has them for about $20 - $30. Then I would just put them up in the attic for either a Really BIG PMS day or of course saving them for your daughter is a great idea. Our China has been hibernating in the attic nicely since 2001!

[Vickie@PursuingSimplicity]

Shannon,
I am in the same position in regards to beautiful, only used once china from 1980! What do I do with it? I have researched a few places to sell it at here in Oklahoma. One place that maybe you have not checked out online is Replacements.LTD. They buy and sell out of circulation china. You might go to their website and look around and see what your china is selling for on their site.

I feel your pain. I hate to part with it but only two place settings have seen any action at all in 28 years! I'm sorry I can't be of more help but truly check out Replacements Limited.

[Lady Why]

You could give it all to me!

No, seriously, I would save it for your daughter. Those things are so much more important and precious as a daughter gets older. It could be a coveted heirloom for her. Take it from me... a mom whose oldest girl is turning 18 next week. ~sniff, sniff~

[Alana]

I like using my China, but, then again I can put it into the dishwasher.

It's hard for me to tell you to sell it - and I believe in getting rid of just about everything not being used. I am also not sentimental, but there's something about China. You may won't to pass it down one day.

I'm not sure what your decorating style/taste is, but maybe you could get those inexpensive plate hangers and create a little collection - not in the attic though.

[Smockity Frocks]

I think you should auction it off on Ebay. I would probably feel guilty, though, and keep it.

[Proverbs31]

Here's one suggestion. If you aren't interested in making money off of them but you just can't stand to sell them for less than they are worth - you could consider donating them. Obviously these are not the kind of thing you can donate to Good Will.. but there has got to be some place that needs nice dishes for special occasions.. A church, some kind of local community group that holds banquest, a home for unwed mothers? Who knows? Granted it would be easier with everyday china, but it might be possible for fine china. The thing that appeals to me about that suggestion is that you're not only de-cluttering, but you are helping someone else out. And if you want to, you could write up a donation slip for a tax write off so that you and hubs at least benefit in some small way from a gift that was intended to benefit you instead of sitting in a cabinet. Thoughts?

[Christy]

I'm a super sentimental type. I would keep it in the hutch, or put it in storage in the attic. As soon as my kiddo is big enough to eat off of good plates (you know, the kind that smashes) we will get ours back out. I love using mine.

[Kristen @ We are THAT family]

I think I would store it away. You just never know when you'll need it and your daughter may LOVE it. Once it's gone . . . it's gone.

[Amber]

I kind of wish my mom had china to hand down. So...my vote is to put it in the attic! And, the first thing I would do is TRY A PIECE IN the DISHWASHER! :-) See what happens - maybe like the stone, it will be just fine! I hear that the more you use china, the stronger it gets!

[Carol ~ I Throw Like A Girl]

I am a firm believer that no one should be allowed to pick out china when they are 21 years old. Get married - yes. Pick out china - no. I picked an ugly contemporary pattern that I ended up hating and never using. So, I sold it on Ebay as individual place settings. I figured someone might want to add to their collection or replace a broken piece. I am not a saver, so it didn't make sense to save an ugly china pattern for my daughter and take up all that space in the attic. Your china sounds lovely, though, but I still vote for sell. It fits in with your de-cluttering mode.

[fern]

If you love it, store it away for the future. Your kids are young now, but someday it will be different. We only use our china once a year, for the Jewish High Holidays. When my kids were little, they ate off of regular plates while the adults ate with the china. As soon as I thought they were old enough not to wreck it, I let them eat off of the china, too. It made them feel so important--and they understood that it was an important occasion. I have to hand wash it, too--but it is only once a year. When we eat in the dining room, especially with the china--my kids stay at the table longer and talk with us. That is so worth the handwashing.

That being said--my mom puts her very good china in the dishwasher--she does not handwash anything. It is lenox from the days before dishwashers. It has been turning out fine since she got her first dishwasher about 40 years ago.

So, my second suggestion is this--if you would only get $200 for the china (granted, that is a lot of money, but probably will not make the difference if your kids go to college or not, and if you think you might like to eat off of the china--throw it in the dishwasher. What have you got to lose? If it turns out fine, you get nice china that goes in the dishwasher. If it doesn't, so what! It is only dishes.

[Lisa@Take90West]

Hooray! Thanks for letting me know I am not alone in putting the PC stonewear in the dishwasher. Mine always comes out fine, too! But I have made many consultants hearts flutter at parties :).

I would save the china for your daughter or even one of your future daughter in laws who might want it. I know it is impractical, and goes against the whole declutter/live simply mentality, but it is a memory and you may feel sorry years from now that you got rid of it. Pack it in the attic and forget about it...your kids may be happy to find it someday!

[Jennifer in OR]

For Heaven's sake, keep the china! You have daughters! Store it away, this will be priceless to your child. I'm very big on decluttering as well, but this doesn't fit the bill. :-)

[karla ~ looking towards heaven]

I registered for some really nice Wedgewood china and only received a coffee cup, saucer and dessert plate (one of each!) At the time, I was saddened by this. But I praise the Lord often for the lack of china.

Cause I'd never use it either.

There is an awesome post on Blissfully Domestic (a new site I am managing editor for) that shows beautiful places to think about hanging plates in around your home. Maybe this would be a great way to enjoy them and yet preserve them for your children and grandchildren. My grandmother did this with her too and I always though it was stunning!!

Here is the link:http://www.blissfullydomestic.com/2008/03/plates-not-fini.html
and the link for the main site is :http://www.blissfullydomestic.com/

[The (Almost) Amazing Mommarino]

Hysterical! I am SO with you on not doing anything that can't go in the dishwasher. I will spend 20 minutes rearranging/cramming everything into my dishwasher so I won't have to handwash a single dish.

Hmmmm...if you don't love and use these dishes, why does it matter how you get rid of them? Yes, they're worth a lot, but how valuable are they really if they're just gathering dust? You could bless a struggling young couple with them. You could save them for your daughter (but will she even KNOW how to handwash dishes after having been brought up in a domestically challenged home?) Or, you could just sell them for however much you can and buy a WHOLE BUNCH of paper plates! (;

Expensive wedding china...$1500

Therapy to get over guilt caused by getting rid of expensive wedding china...$2000

Freedom from the tyranny of fancy-schmancy china that begs to be used (and laboriously handwashed...priceless!

[Savannah]

Sell it on ebay or craig's list. But, put it as local pick up only. I had to return two customers' money when they received pieces of plates rather than whole plates.

You never know what you'll get for them!

[Maria]

I am a big believer in purging all the extra junk in our lives. But the china? I would keep it in the attic. Get some of those storgae containers like Rookie Mom suggested and put it in the attic. You can always get rid of it later if you change your mind. Keep in mind this is coming from someone who: a. Didn't register for china when I got married. b. Is mad that my brother got my grandma's china. c. Is mad that my sister got my other grandma's china :o)

[Roy]

I can't believe this guy is commenting on a gal's list re china, but...

The ladies recommending trying the dishwasher get my agreement. As an extra encouragment, Shannon, my wife and I have silver ringed Lennox settings that have proven themselves dishwasher safe. We've enjoyed the china for 40 yrs, and use it on special occassions. (Our 'everyday' dishes came from soap boxes and were collected by my wife's dad. But we appreciate paper plates and hamburger, too!)

[Overwhelmed With Joy!]

I personally think you should consider donating it to a woman's shelter or a church.

[Karen@FamilyBriefs]

I have a love/hate relationship with ebay. I hate going through the trouble of listing stuff (i.e. I'd purge better if I didn't have to store it in the attic before listing it on ebay to earn a few extra dollars), but I love it when I earn extra cash for stuff I could've just tossed out!

Of course, I have 5 sets of dishes. I put them all in the dishwasher whether they have a gold or silver rim or not (let the china flogging begin). But if they're not for you, then I say PURGE! Or find a friend who wants them and will supply you with paper plates for the next 10 years in exchange :)

[Pamela]

Hmmmm, reminds me of a story.

My really good friend, who didn't have many friends here when she got married and was pretty much responsible for paying for the whole wedding, had always wanted fine china when she got married but couldn't afford it.

My other good friend, had a big beautiful wedding that her parents paid for and got every piece of expensive china that she registered for.

One day, the second friend called the first friend and said, "Guess what? When I woke up this morning, God told me to give you my wedding china." And she did. Even though her mother gasped!

The first friend was amazed to find that God really does give us the desires of our heart. And the second friend felt very honored to be used by Him to bless someone! "It's just stuff," she thought.

I have three daughters so I would probably either give it away or save a setting for each daughter so she can display it however she wants. Sometimes it's less complicated to look at things than to actually use them.

[Org Junkie]

Oh the china question. I get this a lot. You are absolutely right it is a terrible waste of space to keep this dishes if you don't use it. You don't love them so they impact you negatively every time you see them.

They definitely need to go.

Doesn't matter so much how they go, just that they do. Whatever you do, do NOT save them for your daughter. She would definitely never forgive you :)

Good for you recognizing that there is no joy in surrounding ourselves with things we don't love.

You go girl!

[JanMary, N Ireland]

My instinct was to say ebay it - but then I realised I still have mine, and I am not sure I could sell ours - so that is a bit hypocritical!

Ours is boxed up and in the attic - so at least it is not taking up room downstairs. We moved 4 years ago, and never unpacked it or the crystal glasses. I don't want it, but I want to keep it too! No logic - but then, I am a woman.

On a slight aside, before we got married and "chose" our dinner service pattern there was much deliberating - my dh to be did remark that I had spent longer choosing the china than I did in choosing our first home....he had a point!

[Anna]

I love the backwards day! Thanks.

[phyllis]

just lose the guilt, my friend. don't agonize, just decide and do it - sell it or donate it, but don't keep it if it's going to stress you out. or box it all up and put it in the basement/attic until you can make a non-guilt-ridden decision. but don't agonize...just move on. they're just dishes...in the grand scheme of things, you'll be fine whatever you do!

[Briggie]

I know you don't think so now, but one day you'll be glad you have that china. Buy a nice storage kit and put it away for now. As the kids get older there will come a day when you will want to get out the nice china. Why don't you start a tradition and break it out for your anniversay and have a nice dinner with you and the hubby. One day you can bless your daughter with it if you still feel this way when she gets married.

[margalit]

Being a good, Kosher Jewish girl, I have more china than you can ever believe possible. I've got the good meat, the good dairy, the Passover meat, the Passover dairy, and then everyday dishes. Since I do not use my good china often, I keep it in those round padded containers. They fit in my sideboard and are all nicely tucked away for those times when we do use it. Ditto for the passover china, which is used for 8 days/year and then put away for the following year.

My thoughts are, that as you get "more Mature" (ahem) you might have more formal dinners. Like the "meet the potential inlaws" dinner, where you're gonna want to impress. I'd put my good dishes in the attic, carefully packed away in those padded thingys, and forget it exists until you need it. Nothing is worse that an occasion where you DO need it and don't have it.

[Steph.]

I have the same issue only my china has a gold rim to it. Mine looks great in my china cabinet, and never gets used. And, I feel as bad about this as I do that I drive a gas-guzzling SUV. I'm getting to where I hate waste. I look forward to reading everyone's suggestions on this!

And, dang...I had no IDEA it wouldn't destroy the Pampered Chef stoneware to put it in the dish washer. This fact opens up a whole new world of simplicity for ME!

[Stacy]

I would go ahead and just give it away, I'm too lazy to sell it on ebay. If you donate it to a charity thrift store you might get more to deduct from next years taxes than you would be able to sell it on ebay, plus you don't have to worry about shipping, etc. But that's just me.

Also - what did you did you help your daughter over her fear of public toilets. That's my question on todays WFMW post.

[jenny]

You could do a contest/give-away on your blog.

[jenny]

p.s. I put all of my PC stones in the dishwasher and haven't had a lick of trouble. As far as I can tell the biggest difference is that mine are smooth but still stone colored, where as my friends who don't put theirs in the dishwasher have really dark colored stones.

[Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife]

You could alway sell it to a dealer and then donate the money to Compassion, or another favorite charity. There is a great dealer in my area - you can email me if you would like the information.

You could also host some sort of auction on eBay (or another place of your choice) and donate the money to charity.

Depending on how sentimental you are regarding the china, you could save a place setting for each of your children, and then do the above for the rest of it. You mentioned the space it is taking up in your cabinet. Three place settings or partial settings would take up far less space.

Hope that helps some!

[Andrea]

I like the selling and then donating idea. As a daughter, I'm not a huge fan of my mom's china, so one place setting would be more than enough for me to keep as a memory. If you are super creative and have the time...you could break it all and make a mosaic table top!

[Kristy]

Do you know someone who would really love it and use it (and put up with washing it)? I would consider giving it as a gift, or just go ahead and sell it.

Some daughters might like it - personally, I'm not even sure where my mom's china is (I haven't seen it in years), but even if she offered it, I wouldn't want it. If you don't use it, your daughter isn't necessarily going to have memories associated with it that would make it valuable to her.

[Karen (Simply A Musing Blog)]

Check with Replacements.com. They may be able to offer you more money, depending on the pieces. My mom has a serving for 12 (that will be mine someday) of dishes she purchased at a garage sale for $40 and when we contacted Replacements, we were shocked to discover they were manufactured in Occupied Germany during WWII and are quite valuable.

[Dana]

I've been married 18 years, have 4 kids and use my china every Sunday. Call me kooky.

But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. So here's my (possibly overpriced) two cents' worth:

Donate. The Pregnancy Resource Center where I volunteer holds luncheons, teas and other gatherings where we use "good" dishes, one pattern per table. We've received two donations of china, safely stored in padded containers, which we use on many occasions throughout the year. We have a monthly tea where expectant moms are celebrated, given gifts and encouraged to choose life for their preborn children. Then there are the fundraising luncheons and adoption celebrations...to name a few. I even use a china plate as an illustration in my introductory parenting class.

And, here's the deal: if the local charity of your choice truly has no use for the dishes, or space to store them, they can be auctioned to raise funds and will probably bring more than the $200 you could get for them.

[Stretch Mark Mama]

PURGE! Get the monkey off your back! (Since I hear you are an expert at that anyway.)

Your daughter probably wouldn't see it as a sentimental gift since you never use it.

I like the ideas of running some kind of charity contest.

[jennifer]

Keep it for your daughter. That way she'll never register for china. Just a thought.

[Marcia Francois]

I feel for you - I have a set of china left to me by my grandmother (but I keep it in my mother's house) :)

Reading through the comments, I've received some good ideas - I really, really love the ideas about donating them to a charity that hosts nice dinners.

I think I'll do that and maybe keep one piece, just to remember her by.

In fact, she always said, Marcia, when I die, you're getting the china. And I'd say, Ma!!!!!!!!! I don't want your china - I want YOU!!!

*sigh* I still miss her so much

[Suzanne]

Sell it. I stand to be burden with FIVE sets of hoarded China. I'm going to sell it all. Send the money to your Compassion kids.

And the Pizza Stone? You are not alone.

Now that your candidate has conceded, I respectfully invite you to look into Ron Paul; he is such an honorable man.

Respectfully,

Suzanne

[jamie]

I just dont understand why in the world someone would hold on to plates for 20 years just in case their daughter might want some fancy plates. But then again I dont understand why somebody would spend that much money on fancy plates to begin with. I thought 200 bucks sounded good to me. So I say sell them. Let your daughter pick out her own dishes. Maybe she'll be like me and think that a hutch and china are for old people with too much space in their house. Doesn't a big huge peice of furniture set aside just to hold spare dishes sound excessive to anybody else? If you have that many dishes that you have to buy a hutch to store them, then seriously, it's time to give some stuff away. Hope that helps. -Jamie

[Misslionheart♥]

I'd wrap it and store it in the attic for your children. Some things are just too hard to part with!

Misslionheart♥

[Alice]

I didn't read all the other comments..

But I vote with "get rid of it". Personally, I'd maybe make a quick effort to sell it and take whatever I could get. If I couldn't sell it I would just give it away.

Some ideas:
Craigslist if you have it in your area is a great way to sell stuff.

Freecycle if you have it in your area is a great way to give away stuff.

Or donate it to Goodwill or another such organization...you will make someone really happy.

[Lynn from Organicmania.com]

Why not ask hubby to do the dishes? A fitting reminder of how lucky he was to marry you!

Hey, once or twice a year when you use the wedding china is not too much to ask! :)

[hogphan]

Store it in the attic. It'll be an heirloom that someone in your family will cherish someday. (Think how much you love having Gally's Blue Danube even though you don't use them!) I'm saving lots of stuff to pass down to you and your brother!!!!

[Michelle]

I don't have all the answers -- honestly, I'm in the exact same position. My china has that gold band around it that "prevents" it from being put in the dishwasher. But, as I was reading through the comments above, a thought occurred to me: what if I just used my china, enjoyed it, and put it in the dishwasher? So the gold band might fade over time. At least I'm using dishes that otherwise wouldn't see any action at all. It's hard to resell china (particularly gold banded china because of the dishwasher issue). So, maybe the answer lies in just using it and enjoying it, instead of putting so many "rules" around its use. Then, if you do pass on the dishes, they'll also have that lightly used vintage "grandmotherly" feel. :)

[citystreams]

So put it in the dishwasher and use it! That's what I've been doing. I still only use it maybe four times a year. You cannot microwave it - you'll get a fire. But the dishwasher most likely won't really hurt it.

I like to invite friends over for dinner and pull out the china. It makes them feel special. Little do they know that I'm just going to stickit in the dishwasher when they leave!

[Lynn from Organicmania.com]

Hi again, I just re-read your post and realized I was responding more to some of the great comments than to your sentiments! Sorry!

I agree with the other commenters who suggest you may use the china as the kids get older and occasions for celebration change.

AND, I say, if you hate doing hand dishes, why not ask hubby to do them? The kids can help!! It will give you a few minutes to remember what it was like to be the princess on your wedding day!

[Rebecca]

Pfft, dishwasher people :P *Covets*

Keep it. Pretty, see. Yes.

[My Quotidian Mysteries]

I say: dishwasher away! But, if you still feel weird about it, I wonder if there is a young couple in your church that would love to receive the full set. There might be another place/person to donate it to. You'd feel great giving it away, I bet. $200 doesn't seem worth it.

[Shalee]

Okay, here's my question: Why can't you wash it in the dishwasher. I have china and when we use ours (for special or non-special days) I always throw it in the dishwasher. Just as you've never broken your Pampered Chef, I've broken nary a plate.

I say use it, put in the dishwasher and let God decide if you're gonna keep it or not. Of course, I say use it anyway because I'm of the opinion that you don't save the special plates for special occasions; everyday should be special like that.

All else fails: store them for Corrie. She may want them. If not, your son's wives may. I happen to have my mother-in-awe's set which was HER mother-in-law's set. Guess who I plan on passing it on to when the time comes...

[Edi]

We don't have room in our house for things we don't get much use out of - so if it was me I'd be listing it on Craigslist.com.

I've sold stuff on eBay before - but I hate selling dishes...you spend so much time packaging them up and then have to worry about whether or not they arrive in more pieces then you sent!

You could donate them to a charity thrift store and get some of your money back via tax donations.

Also list them in your local newspaper classified adds. But one thing - if you really want to get rid of them, then don't ask an astronomical price for them. Sure you want some money out of it - but something is better than nothing.

If you can't sell them for a decent amount - I would be tempted to store them in the attic (if you have space)...

[Shalee]

Oh, and I meant to say that mine has the silver rim around it too. Still goes in the dishwasher fine and dandy for us!

[Jacki]

I second the women ahead of me that have suggested donating to a local homeless or womens' shelter. Especially since the set isn't worth a ton of money.

For example, the homeless shelter in our town also operates what they call a "transitional housing" program. Once the residents of the homeless shelter get (and keep) a job, they move into the transitional housing, and of course they need all kinds of housewares to set up their new house.

I think that would be a perfect solution...you would be getting rid of something you don't need and helping someone in need.

[TracyMichele]

I would love to provide a solution but my head is still spinning from learning you put your stoneware in the dishwasher! *gasp*

Kidding. I am not one to hang on to ANYthing but in this case I would suggest holding onto it and giving it to your daughter as a wedding gift (many, many, MANY years from now). Or if they still sell the pattern, buy 2 more sets and give a 4-place setting to each child when they marry?

[Momala]

I have the same problem, but it's with my Grandmother's china. I have it in storage because I can't bear to get rid of it. BTW, she did put it in the dishwasher and a lot of the pieces have to gold worn off.

[Niki@RuralWritings]

I'm a china junkie. If I could I would have a china room with complete services for 12 in al my favourite paterns. That's just who I am. My point is, your daughter might turn out to be a china junkie too, who knows???? Stash the set away in the attic, one day someone will love them, guaranteed.

Blessings,
Niki

[spence]

The real question is what time do I have to get up to beat the other 120 people in front of me to be the first post on WFMW? wow!

[Kristen M.]

Growing up my parents were missionaries who could never have afforded to purchase a set of nice China. One day a box from an anonymous person showed up. Inside was a beautiful set of China. We never found out where it came from but someone decided to bless my mom with gorgeous dishes that she never would have imagined owning.

[Jen]

FYI--the dishwasher rule isn't so much about the worry of china breaking in the dishwasher (though that can certainly happen with very fragile types). The larger concern is that china, specifically china with metal engravings or decoration, may leech toxins into the serviceware when exposed to the high temps of a dishwasher. Most brands really are safe, but because they cannot guarantee that safety, they caution against placing items in the dishwasher. Antique dishes (before 1972) often contain lead and that lead can seep into foods placed on the plates causing lead poisoning.
If you choose to donate the plates, I would donate them to someone who understands why the plates need to be handwashed. Perhaps there is a family in your community who has lost their home or something who would be blessed to pieces with something impractical like fine china:)

[Mary B]

My mom died when I was 7 months old. I have her I, that was the early 60's. It is now valued at a huge price but I don't use it. Because I had it I never registered for china.
In conclusion(sorry for my rambling), I would sell it. Unless it really has special meaning.

[Kerry]

I think you should find someone to give it to. We have a saying at our house; If everyone gave away the things they don't need, everyone would have the things that they do need.

We find that the karma( for lack of a better word) of giving things away is amazing. Right after we give away something we receive something that we needed or desired. It really is crazy great how it works. People tell me all the time that our family is super generous, but we have been given FAR more (so it seems to us) than we give!

[Mary B]

Oops, something must have gotten deleted from my post, I have her china. My parents used it alot, but that was in the early 60's.

[Karol]

If you feel ready to get rid of it, you might want to check at www.replacements.com to see about selling it to them. I live close to their headquarters and you can find literally every pattern and design there.

If you are truly undecided, I say package it well and put it in the attic.

[Tina]

Ebay. Craigslist. Replacements.com. SELL IT! No sense hanging on, literally or figuratively, to something that is just wasting space.

[Jenn]

I would say keep it - your daughter might just want it...of course this is coming from someone who only has boys! Do you know someone getting married soon? This might be a huge blessing to someone else...you could just give it to them.

[Marianne]

I totally feel you on this: my husband and I never even registered for "nice" stuff when we got married 13 years ago because we knew we'd be moving A LOT (he was a Navy Officer).

But I still got some china and crystal from well-intended family. And I've never used it. Not once.

If selling it doesn't feel right, the only idea I have is find a worthy place to donate it. But who would need china? Hmmm...could your church use it? For some sort of "Date Night Ministry" with a nice church supper, babysitting by the Youth Group? (Brainstorming here...)

Or, is there a local women's shelter who might find it wonderful to have such nice stuff for a change rather than cracked hand-me-downs?

Just throwing out ideas...

Good luck. I'm with you on this; here at Casa de Monkeys, all "stuff" must have functionality -- being pretty just isn't enough!

[kristin]

Sell the china! You are trying to raise your children to live simply. They probably won't stray too far from your lessons. And why burden your daughter with stuff even you don't want?

[mom2fur]

Wow, 70 comments already! I'm sure others have said this, but I'll say it, too--save it for your daughter. Or for a future daughter-in-law! You never know, but she might be the type who likes to entertain formally once in a while. As long as you can pack it and it doesn't take up a big chunk of your attic, why not put it away for the future?

[mom2fur]

PS--my mother's bone china set, sterling silver and crystal are all going to my older sister. I can't even imagine the monetary value. But I'm not jealous about the sentimental value. My sister entertains and sets a nice table. Me--I'm partially with you. I'm not big on paper plates, but I sure want my dishes to go into the dishwasher!

[mireille]

Fine, I'll take the china...the things I do in the name of peace and freindship in blog world!!! And to think, not one of your previous 70 commentators were willing to sacrifice for you...pity.

[Llama Momma]

Shannon -- I've got the same problem! Just yesterday I was on ebay, wondering if I should sell it all.

I will definitely be reading through these comments...

[Nonnie]

I know the point to good china is to keep it nice, but really, if you won't use it because you want to keep it nice, you've just added to your baggage ~ both emotional and physical.

I grew up with a grandmother who kept this for "special" occasions. It never got used, and when she passed, many of those "special" items went for pennies at garage sales or were donated, just to get rid of them.

Rather than worrying that the silver rim will flake off in the dishwasher, I'd use them to enjoy them, and stick them in the dishwasher ~ because that would be part of enjoying them. You received the dishes with (I assume) the hopes that you'd enjoy them, and you're not. Any day can be special, and really, they're just dishes. If the silver flecks off, is it any worse than having them hiding and never seeing the light of day? At least you'd get some enjoyment out of them...

[Tara]

I didn't register for china or silver. I had one lady actually ask me where she could find my registry for the silver. I had to scrape her up off the floor when I told her Target (I'd registered for silverware). Oh well. THat said, I don't know what to do with your china. I still have my wedding dress sitting around in a cardboard box untouched and uncleaned from after the wedding. That was 9 years ago. What do I do with my wedding dress from 9 years ago???

[Nichole]

I'd store them in the attic. Of course, I also have a clutter/stuff problem, too!

[Trixie]

I would look for someone that you know that would treasure a set of real china. Yes, people like that do exist:) Even though the set was a lovely gift (and expensive) -- you do not enjoy it and someone else that cannot afford something so nice would get a lot of happiness out of the dishes.

Take Care,

Trixie

[Charity]

I think it is a lovely idea to save it for your daughter. She might be the type to love that sort of thing and she would forever treasure the gift.

If she is not, you can sell them then. Will they really be in the way if you store them in the attic?

[Linda Sue]

Echoing the sentiments of so many practical minded people - get rid of the dishes in a way that blesses someone else. I think selling them and taking a tax deduction for a charitable contribution might sound crass - but it is fully legitimate and fair. $200 doesn't sound like nearly enough - you could do better online - have an auction to raise money for Compassion (maybe enough to sponsor one of those fabulous Leadership Training People) - you know how folks love an auction online - we could all get the Uganda bloggers to mention it and drive up the price! Sorry - I get enthused easily and I haven't ever gushed over how much I appreciate you, Shannon - but a godly, witty, honest woman is a blessing to us all - whew - don't expect that kind of emotion from me often. Bless you in your search for a simpler life - it is a good thing.

[Ames]

I would vote for ebay or saving it for someone else. Though, I would say to sell it a place setting at a time on ebay, you might be able to get more. Actually, I'd probably take the $200, it's not like you can go back in time and change the fact that you have it and it's not like $200 is useless. Besides, if you save it, you run the risk of the person who gets it not liking the pattern or the lack of dishwasher compatibility too...is that angst something you want to pass on to someone else?

[Andrea]

Get rid of it. Even $200 is worth it if you never ever use it & never ever will. It's worth nothing sitting in the boxes! Or, if you know someone who would love it, give it to them- even better!

[The Happy Housewife]

I would get rid of it. I don't keep things if they aren't practical. Could you possible sell them on ebay piece by piece. Sometimes that will get you more money.
Just a thought.

[Tami]

I'm very sentimental so I'd probably store them. I have inherited china and my grandma gave me a big glass cabinet (not quite a china cabinet) when she went to live in the nursing home. All of my china is there and it only takes up two shelves because I have it stacked. It does look pretty but we never use it. Maybe one day my daughter will use it.

[Robin (PENSIEVE)]

Here are some unfiltered thoughts (bless your heart, you may have already heard this w/so many comments, but just in case...here I go):

IMHO, it's INSANE to keep china for your children that they haven't grown up eating on! It's insane to store it "just because". A large part of the beauty in passing down "lovies" from generation to generation is the memory attached to the item. This china means nothing or little to you, why should it carry significance to your children (outside the value of "fine china")?

I, too, believe as long as you're not using it, you should get rid of most of it; I'd still keep enough place settings for your immediate family and lose the additional four place settings; at a minimum, I'd keep two for you and your husband, to enjoy for a romantic dinner when your kids are up and out. The idea of displaying it or hanging it on your wall is nice, too, but a part of me wonders if even that is little more than a monument to excess, because you "hoarded" it without using it (NOT a statement of judgment!! :) I HOPE you hear my heart!!).

THAT BEING SAID, EAT ON IT, SHANNON! Not often, but DO IT! Although your children are younger than mine (and really, that DOES factor in), for their birthdays and other special times during the year, we DO eat on ours...it's worth the bit of extra effort. As seldom as you'd find yourself using it, wash it in your dishwasher on the most gentle setting and don't worry about it.

As a last note, I've gotta tell ya--I inherited my mother's china (she died when I was just nine). I don't remember her ever using it, and when I got married, I thought it was beautiful, but I had no real thoughts of how I'd use it. Now, whenever I do, it's like a part of her is here with me. This kind of contradicts what I said about about it not having significance for your children if you don't use it, BUT, for me, it does tie me to her...it IS meaningful (b/c I'd like to think she used it and I've just forgotten) :).

Ok...done w/my dissertation :).

[misi]

i vote you give them to someone who will use them and would otherwise not be able to afford them....

[oh amanda]

WOW. Sounds like your comments are split 50/50. I'm in the same boat. My china is plain, which I wanted, so I could do the whole colored charger thing. But I just don't LOVE it anymore AND I've only used it 3 times in 10 years. And that's only the place settings. I have TONS of extras that have never been out of the box. I've been debating selling it and buying some smaller cute Christmas dishes or something. That's the only time i use it anyway.

I don't want to hand it down to my daughter--we never use it. What kind of memories are those?!

I just don't know WHERE I can get the best price for it...sell it individually on ebay? the whole set?

blah...blah...I'll be back to read all the comments...please let me know what you do!

[Barbara H.]

If you itemize your taxes, you could donate them to a charitable organization and get a receipt for a tax deduction. That way you recoup something from it plus it benefits the organization when they sell it.

[Barbara H.]

A P.S. to my comment above about tax deductions -- you can usually claim much more than you can get for the same items via yard sale. The IRS web site has a page about what you can claim for various items. We almost always go that route rather than yard sales.

Another note about saving them for your daughter -- you might then be passing this dilemma on to her in 20 years with an extra heaping of guilt because the dishes came from her mother and were saved for her. :-)

[Fern Green]

My advice? Learn to wash your china in the sink. Come on, sister, get off your high horse and do it. It's not so bad.

Some of us don't even own a dishwasher, and we survive just fine... in fact, you might find that your dishes come out cleaner when you wash them with your own hands.

[Jacquelyn@Because I Said So!]

Gosh, I wish I had an attic! My 12 5-piece settings of Wedgwood are sitting in my mother's basement, never used in 19 years of marriage, and that ended 3 years ago! But my daughter, 16, says she'll treasure it always, and so it sits waiting for her.

[Michelle]

You should look at giving it to a charity that could auction it off. Like Give Kids the World or the Shriners. I know that my old college, North Carolina State University, has a red and white ball every where where items are auctioned off for the Special Olympics. Any kind of charity like that would probably be able to raise more than 200 dollars at an auction because usually the people bidding are mostly bidding to help the kids/cause more than to get the item, and yours being a nice item Im sure someone will want it for themselves or a child getting married, ect. You wouldn't get any money from it; however, you aren't getting any money from it collecting dust in your cabinet either AND you would benefit by giving it to someone/something that could really use the help.

Also, I got some really great china from Bed, Bath and Beyond that can go in the dishwasher. I never registered for it; I got a coupon in the mail and went to look around during one of their major clearance sales. The china being on 75% clearance along with my 1/2 off coupon got me a set of 12 place settings, white with gold colored trim (and Ive been washing it in the dish washer for 5 years now) for only 26.00. I use them all the time and if any break,it's no big deal since I have so many back up and they were so cheap. Keep your eyes out for any of those sales, and coupons, they are great and powerful together!

[Annette]

if you don't need the cash...and it's something you just don't need. I'd donate it to a worthy person. Someone who just needs something to eat off of. Not everyone has or wants a dishwasher, but some folks just need some dishes to eat off of, fancy or not.

[Kristin]

I am a massive declutterer, but after 2 grandmothers died I have become sentimental. I say store it and give it to your daughter when she gets married. If she decides to sell it - it won't break your heart, you'll know she inherited your practicality : )

[Kristin]

And, don't give a second thought to Fern Green's comment - she's a witch and therefore misled.

[jen]

Whatever you do, don't just keep it and not using it...unless you can see a day in the future when you will be hosting family meals and wanting to use it (like Thanksgiving and Christmas). Otherwise sell it, give it away, or decide to use it. Don't keep it for no reason.

I was in the same boat and decided to USE mine. I pull it out for every shower and party and dinner I can! I have been glad to use it, and I always think, "I'd rather it get broken using it than safe in the cabinet!"

[Marian]

Yeah, our beautiful set of crystal goblets languish in my cabinet, too. 23 year olds wont to BELIEVE the registry people that they're going to have a lifestyle in which they will need such things...

I wouldn't saddle your daughter with the dishes or the somehow implied expectations of using and treasuring them. You didn't, and she, for similar reasons, likely won't either. The nice thing about handing things like that down is the sentimentality of keeping something that has been used and loved by mom, you know? Otherwise it's just stuff in the cupboard that you didn't even choose and don't necessarily like, yet feel obligated to keep.

If you don't want to store them or sell them to someone you don't know, try to find someone who might have reason to use them to bless others, or who would just really enjoy such things. Is there an older woman in your church, for example, who loves to bless and minister to others with hospitality in her home? Teas, luncheons? I don't know... But if you can personally find someone who WOULD use and enjoy them, I can tell you that being able to directly bless someone else is much better than $200. =)

[Megan]

You won't like my answer probably, but I'll post it anyway. *grin*

We, also, weren't using our expensive Noritake Halls of Ivy and yep, many of our pieces still have the price tags on them also. Mine arent' supposed to go in the dishwasher either which is troublesome for me. Or was.

We decided we either needed to use them consistently or get rid of them. We began the practice of observing a weekly 24 hour Sabbath which includes unplugging from all gadgets and technology, and (here's where you aren't going to like it) having a big fancy meal. Preparing the meal is a LOT of work, but it really sets us up well for a genuine time of rest and reflection. After the work of the meal, we work hard to clean it up, including handwashing the dishes (which by that time, there isn't room in the dishwasher for everything, so something has to be handwashed - on Saturdays it is the china). My husband always does this with me and the girls help clean up too. Once the work of cleaning up is over, we're ready for the break and we truly take one.

It's been a great thing for our family. Might not exactly work for you, but wanted to share it anyway. Our girls feel really special that we pull out the china and crystal just for them.

I no longer feel guilty about having a collection of dishes I don't use. I use them once a week now!!

On the other hand, I did have another entire set of china handed down to me by my grandma. I knew I wouldn't use two sets, so I gave that set to my sister, so it stayed in the family...

[Jennifer]

I would definately either re-gift or just use on special occasions only like Chritmas Dinner and such.