She'll Just Have To Tell This Whole Story To the Therapist Someday

Three-year-old Corrie trotted into the bathroom the other day, and I heard a loud shriek.  I knew just what it was: ant season.  Torrential rains have sent a colony straight into my house, and their chosen spot is my children's bathroom.  But it's more than just a colony.  It's actually a convention.  A big, giant, international ant convention, televised to all their ant friends, inviting them to come on over to the Dryer house.  We are over-run.   

I scooped up my trembling girl and put her in the hallway.  She is so afraid of bugs she makes me look brave (and that's saying something).  "Momma," she sniffled.  "Spwinkle some of that stuff!"  And I did.  Because I was prepared this time.  Thanks to your advice last time, I had my handy-dandy bottle of Terro all loaded up for ant season. I placed a magical few drops on the floor, watching with a mix of horror and smug satisfaction as hordes of ants ran straight for the bait. 

Corrie, suddenly emboldened by the presence of poison, dropped to the floor next to the feeding frenzy.  "DIE, ANT, DIE!" she giggled. 

I'm so proud.

She watched with fascination, slapping her hands on the ground in excitement.  The ants scattered at the noise.

"Don't do that, Baby," I told her.  "We want them to take the bait back to their queen."

She jerked her head to look at me, eyes wide.  "Dey have a QUEEN?"

Oh no.  I know this girl so well, and I know just exactly what she's thinking.  She thinks there's a tiara involved somewhere. 

"Not that kind of queen, Baby, a bug queen.  When the bait kills her, it kills all of them."

Same wide-eyed look, though the eyes are beginning to narrow.  "We killin' da QUEEN?"  Her shoulders sagged.

Right there.  Did you see it?   In precisely 3.8 seconds I went from rescuing her from certain gross-out-edness to murdering Cinderella.

All in a day's work, I guess.

Comments

[Mari Taylor]

Oh goodness! I was so enjoying the "DIE, ANT, DIE" part. Then she got girly on us. ::sigh:: Oh well you can't blame a girl for wanting to protect fellow royalty!

[We are THAT family]

Oh, every one needs a little girl in their life! (even if they have to borrow one from a friend or neighbor--I have two that are available)

I love the Cinderella moments.

[suburbancorrespondent]

I never thought of it as regicide before...

[Sarah G.]

Very cute story!! Your little girl sounds so precious. :) And yes, Terro is amazing stuff!

Sarah G.

[Jen]

Not the queen! I love it. She sounds adorable and just as girly as mine. I guess that happens with the double-x chromosome and all.

[MamaMay]

It might be time to google image "ant queen" and find the most gross ant queen to show her. She might not mind killing her so much!

[EveryChapter]

Oh my word- hilarious! Thanks for the ant advice, it's ant season in San Diego too!

[Marie]

Oh, I could so see my daughter doing something similar. So well-written and funny to read. Thanks for the giggle!

[Nicki]

Hee! Oh, that is too cute!

We had an ant problem a month ago and the kids were very excited about helping us get rid of them. However, a few days ago, they watched A Bugs Life for the first time. I'm thinking that the next time we are invaded by ants, we may have a hard time convincing them that we have to get rid of them.

[Stretch Mark Mama]

Our ants come and go, and drive me nuts in the process.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "hair in the bra" kind of tickle, but no. IT WAS A DUMB ANT. You should have seen the bug-removal dance I cooked up for the occasion.

[Shawna]

If you want a less sad way, you can fill up a spray bottle with water and add a few drops of dish soap to it. Shake it up and take aim at them. Something in the dish soap actually erodes their exoskeleton. In like three seconds they shrivel up and die. (by shrivel I mean that they become a tiny black speck that can be wiped up with a paper towel) The bonus is that your kids can do it because it isn't toxic and as far as everyone is concerned the queen is safe and sound.

[Tamara]

Isn't that just the cutest!

[Kris- dreaming of mermaids]

hehehehee. The minds of children! Ohhh man.

[Adventures In Babywearing]

Oh that is too funny and traumatizing all at the same time!

Steph

[Mrs Lemon]

DIE, ANT, DIE!

Classic

[Tina]

That story totally reminded me of when my now 8 year old was only 4 and we would have conversations in the bathroom while combing hair, etc about the ants that insued our bathroom counter. She would ask me all kind of things like "do ants have brains?" and "where do they go when they die?" and "why do you have to kill them again?" etc, etc.

I just laughed and laughed! Which is a usual occurance when I read here!

[Debbie Glosson]

OH ....she is a cutie...a perfect way to put it from the mouth of a three year old! Yes, ants are here again!
-Sandy Toes

[Carrie]

What a great story! That gave me a little chuckle!

[Queen B]

That is so funny. And so typical of girls!!

[The Nester]

"she thinks there's a tiara involved..."

and that's why I read this blog! So funny!

[Traci]

LOVE IT!

[Kay]

I needed the Terro poison info, so I hit "add to favorites" and accidently tucked it into my Blog Management folder.

Blog, Bug...They're close. Maybe God's sending a subtle message about all the time I spend giggling at the computer instead of cleaning my house. Guess I'd better get to work!

[Gwendolyn]

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with ants suddenly over-running the bathroom. My children are appalled...but my oldest son LOVES to kill them. I knew there was a reason I kept him around. LOL

[Carrie]

ROFL...you killed the bug queen...

[jen]

That's just an adorable story!

[Alicia]

How adorable!

I can let you borrow my son, he's quite fascinated with bugs, and quite good at stomping on them too!

[Jeni]

What is it with ants and bathrooms?? We have the same problem.

As far as killing the queen...oops. Maybe a trip to the library is called for - some kind of book on ants that shows the nasty queen as just an ant, whose sole responsibility is making more nasty ants...

[Gabreial]

Oh my goodness that is so funny. We have the ant problem here too, my boys want to build them a comfy couch and 10 story sky rise.

[Traci Best]

What in the world would we DO with out Google? Of course that is the answer...now we will wait with baited breath to see if showing her the groddy queen ant picture works!

Die Ant Die!

LOL

Traci

[T with Honey]

With all the emphasis Disney puts on their Princesses I'm a little surprised that she got upset over killing the queen. Just a little surprised. Tiaras are something girls adore and must protect.

But typically the queen is the evil bad woman. Let her watch Snow White and maybe she'll feel a little less empathy for those ants. Just don't show Ants or Bugs Life until ant season is safely over.

[A&EMom]

I suggest a Google search for "Queen Ant Pictures" and see if she has further sympathy for Bugerella.

[Jackie]

Oh that just cracks me up!!What a great story.

[laska]

Every other year are ants don't go away, no matter what we do. This year is one of those years. I'm sure my kids have learned more than one new word everytime I walk into the kitchen.

[Mishababy]

that's right baby...death to the peasants!!

Keep the queen!!

That was too cute! Out of the mouths of babes...comes great blog fodder...:-D

[MamaHenClucks]

Yep, I saw it. Right there, when the joy in watching the horrific bugs die turns to oh my gosh you killed the queen. I have one of those girlies in my house, too. Poor thing. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

[Tracey]

I hate ants!!! I'm with you..."KILL THE QUEEN!!!"

[Laurie Ann]

Oh yes, Kill the Queen! What a hilarious post. I am rolling!

[Annie Valentine]

Maybe we shouldn't call them queens. They should be called dictators. Tell your daughter you were wrong, that instead of killing the queen, the two of you single handedly took down the ant version of Mussolini. Someday she'll be so proud.

[Shalee]

Oh yeah... you should have quit while you were ahead.

Call her the Queen who was in Snow White. That might help a little bit.

"DIE! ANT! DIE!" That made me spew coffee and I'm not drinking any. You're welcome. :)

[Evy]

I found you while I was blog surfing, came through Rela at An Ordinary Life.
I love the ant story. My little ones are all grown now, but I do sometimes get cute ones from the grandchildren.
While I was looking your blog over, I saw your Africa Logo. Went there, of course.
I was interested because I am leaving in about three weeks for Tanzania. While I read your testimony about going, I saw so many simularities to mine. You are just more eloquent about it. I bookmarked you so I can come back tonight and read the rest of it.
Since you have been there, maybe you can give me a few hints, I am very concerned about making mistakes while I am gone. I will not be traveling with any organized group. Will be with friends who are Congolese. Come over if you have time, and leave me a few hints. Will be much appreciated, along with prayers that or trip is one that totally gives all of the glory and honor to God.
Thanks for your time. Am very glad I found you.

[Jennie]

Cinnamon works great too! We had a terrible ant problem in the house (fire ants coming in for water) when we lived in AZ and we sprinkled cinnamon around the perimeters of every room and the ants were gone.

[Roxy]

haha, what a funny story! Hope you got them all:)

[Bonnie]

Funny story. Now have you shown her "Ants" or "A Bug's Life" yet? :)

[Tracey]

Too cute! Hope your ant problem isn't on-going.
I found a scorpion in my house yesterday. Ahhh....the wild west!

[Melanie]

The first time we sprayed for fire ants, I stood at the door, watched, and cheered. The Bug Man (my hero) was baiting the mounds. My 4-year old daughter had just been horribly stung days earlier.

When she heard me cheer, she started to cry and said,"Ants are bugs, too."

Did I mention she wants to be an entymologist?

[Mama Belle]

You, Queen Killer, you.

[Jerri]

What a cute story! I don't think I'll ever forget, "Die, Ant, die!"

[Aileen]

Cinnamon! It works. Less toxic, especially for where the little ones are sleeping. We swear by it here.

[Lori Drumm]

Oh yes, crushing our childs fantasies. That's what we're here for. Nice job, Queen killer.

[Lori Anne]

That is a riot! Sometimes we (Moms) just can't win, can we. :)

[Natalie (BSM Media)]

That's FUNNY!! I hate ants too!! With a passion! So I can definitely related to the "DIE, ANT, DIE!" But your little princess is too cute!

[Natalie (BSM Media)]

That's FUNNY!! I hate ants too!! With a passion! So I can definitely related to the "DIE, ANT, DIE!" But your little princess is too cute!

[shane_onegoodie]

ahhh...this almost breaks my heart, you know? too sweet.

[Becky]

I love this post. Your baby is precious!!!

[Jennifer (Et Tu?)]

Oh...no. How hilarious. I'll have to remember that lesson for when my daughters get older (my oldest is 2 right now).

Also, what is this "rain" thing you speak of?

[Shannon]

You're killing the ant queen? Sounds like the beginning of a disney movie! Now the poor ant princess will grow up with no mom and a heartbroken dad.

[The Roost]

So funny! I can just picture her little face when you said the "Queen"!

[Sandi]

Hilarious.

She would have definitely been for killing the queen if she had been at our house when we discovered A WHOLE COLONY of ants living in our IRON!!!! That's right. I obviously don't iron very often, and I have no idea how it happened except that I am traumatized for life and will definitely be seeing a therapist about it in the near future.

[Darla]

LOLLLLLLL Oh I have so been there, done that. (sans tiara)

[jpritchard]

i'm a blog-lurker. and the only reason i'm coming into the light on this post is because we (my husband & i) just discovered a darn-awesome trip from our granola-esqe neighbor:

cinnamon kills red ants.

not kidding you. we live in NC. a place where the ants come from china to feast on your picnic & bite your toes. a place where i find a new ant MOUNTAIN (hills aren't existent) each morning on either the front or back patio.

we tried the cinnamon thing last weekend. just dumped a giant pile right on the ant mountains. and watch them scurry away...

and the best part? its like a natural air freshener each time we walk outside :)

[zandor]

Ha. That's kind of an awesome story.

[Kathy C.]

Oh, I love it! That is so precious - sweet little ant killer. :)

[heather]

That is truly a great story.

[Shauna Okongo]

Wow, how to crush a little girl's world in 3.8 seconds. They are still nasty little ants, and the queen is even uglier than they are. I could see my little princess doing the same thing, with pink boas and shiny tiaras in mind. Sometimes mommies are so mean, and so good. hehe.

[Ellen]

To keep them from coming in in the first place, try Amdro. You can get it at Home Depot, and its a powder you sprinkle around the perimeter of your house. I was having an awful time with ants, even with Terro, but that stopped it. Finally...

[Jenny]

we used to have an ant problem too in my daughter's bathroom. She was so petrified every time we turned on the lights. We eventually "named" our friends so they wouldn't be so scary...Hank, Frank, Tom the Tank, and their friend George who works at the bank!

[Ashley]

Laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Whitney @ Baby Tunnel Exodus]

Isn't that the truth? Our lives are total fodder for our children's therapy someday! On the bright side, hey, maybe we'll get to meet Dr. Phil or something! He he he, just kidding. Blessings, Whitney

[LauraLee Shaw]

Long live the Qweeeeeeen! ;)

Awesome post! ;)

[Rachel]

Ah yes. The Ants. I offered my colony up a delicious plate of PB&J and Boric Acid. (Surrounded the plate with baby powder to keep the little buggers contained.)

My 4 year old daughter says "Mom! You're giving them a picnic!"

Er well....sort of.

"Don't give them too much so they don't get fat."

Mmm...I don't think that's going to be a concern.

"Do you think they'll come back for more?" I doubt it.

Die ant die! I'm having hysterics.

[Anissa@Hope4Peyton]

Tell her we're a democracy in the US...we can't have queens here. Poor thing, it's such a confusing world!

[Ranee @ Arabian Knits]

We have a two year old who yells "Kill de anties!"

[Octamom]

It all changes if there is royalty involved---and potential jewelry---

Blessings!

[Cascia @ Healthy Moms]

What a cute little girl. We have ants in our house too. It is a pain in the butt trying to get rid of them. We still haven't killed the queen yet. I'll have to remember that. Great post! Very entertaining.

[Jamie (Ohbecareful!)]

High treason! To the block with you!