To Cell Or Not To Cell

My second child desperately wants a cell phone for Christmas. 

He's ten.  And he's the most persuasive person I have ever met. 

He likes to play with my cell phone, typing out text messages to me without actually sending them.  Instead, he just walks over to me and holds the phone up to my face.  It reads, "What are we having for dinner?"

Dude.  I'm standing right here.  Please feel free to address me with the remarkable technological achievement called YOUR VOCAL CORDS.

The other day he observed aloud to me that "you know, I bet the best way I could convince you that I can handle a cell phone is to be really responsible about other stuff."  Then he proceeded to set the table, finish his homework, put away some laundry and help his sister with a project, all without being asked.

I thanked him heartily.  (And then I wondered how long I can milk this thing for all it's worth.)

Hubs and I have been talking about the kids-with-cell-phones issue a lot lately, and he's not a big fan of the idea.  He's worried about the phone getting lost or over-used, and of course, he doesn't want to receive any outlandish bills.  I agree. 

But I can also see a few positives about letting the two older kids have phones.  I like the idea of the boys having access to a phone when they're away from me, for security reasons.  We could always buy a pre-paid plan, I've reasoned, so there would be no surprise bills.  We could find a bare-bones, inexpensive phone without Internet access.  The kids could help re-stock the minutes with their allowance. 

Most of all, I like the idea of the boys having some hands-on experience setting cell phone limits before they hit the teen years.  Managing a cell phone responsibly is a learned skill.  Learned skills require practice. 

That brings me back to the question I keep mulling over in my head: how young is too young to begin learning this skill?  It's that shaky parenting tightrope I walk daily (on many more issues than just this one)--I want to give my kids enough freedom that they're having contstant opportunites to grow and mature, but I want to do it at a common-sense, cautious pace. 

So I thought I'd throw this dilemma out to all of you, for (hopefully) some hearty discussion.  Specifically, at what age did you (or will you) give your kids their first cell phone?  What kinds of limits do you put in place to help them manage it responsibly?  How much of the financial burden are they responsible for?  Have you come up with any other creative ideas for managing this issue?

I'm all ears.

Comments

[Minnesotamom]

Husband and I wouldn't even have a cell phone if my mom didn't insist (and pay for it herself). Part of me feels like, well, if all the other kids have one, maybe Anja should someday, too. But part of me is resistant to being CONSTANTLY connected. I grew up without that connection, and I think my life was much more stress-free. Is it wrong that I haven't activated the voice mail on the phone I do have? I don't want to have to check messages yet another place. I guess I'm a fuddy duddy. We don't have cable, either. :)

[Dorinda]

I guess most of what I want to say has already been said - however I agree with many of the other parents that 10 is too young. My son (almost 9 and in third grade) also asked for one for Christmas but when we quizzed him as to why he wanted it - he answered that 'all the other kids have one'.

I did not get my first cell phone until I was 29! (I'm 33 now). When I was a kid I was only ever a bike ride or walk away from home or if need be a phone booth (do they even still make those??) As I said to my son, 'in my day cell phone were called quarters'.

So no, he will not be getting a cell phone this Christmas (or next). When I drop the kids off for rehearsals, practices etc, I make sure I am the one responsible to be on time to pick them up - yes even if it means I have to wait (or they do).

Also, I think texting is an epidemic. And the longer I can prolong my children getting caught up in it - the better. When they do get cell phones (most likely when they start to drive) There will be no texting.

[Tami]

Good question! My 9yo has been asking for a cell phone already. He's not getting one yet. He only goes to school by himself, otherwise either his father or I are with him so we don't see the need. Yet. I do know there are cell phones that you can program with just the numbers you want the kids to call or receive calls from so they can't be calling just everyone they've ever met. I also found this site that you can look at http://www.kajeet.com/kajeetStore/landing.do?lp=LP2&c=Y09.

Anyway - good luck to you and let us know how it turns out. Some of us are right behind you waiting to learn from your experiences!!!

[Jessica]

My daughter is not old enough to want a cell phone yet, but one thing my husband and I have always said was if she ever got one she would need to work to save up the money for the early termination fee before hand. That way if she got out of control we would be able to cut it off without any money coming out of our pockets and if she was responsible, she would have a nice little addition to her savings account. Plus it would prove just how much she really wanted it.

[Janelle]

I'm sticking with our "not until high school" plan for now. If we find that a phone is needed before then we'll have a "family phone" that people can take but is not owned by any of our kiddos. If some girl wants to call my son she needs to sweat out what she'll say if his dad answers the phone!

[Stormy]

We got a cell phone for my oldest when he was 11.5. However he washed and it had to buy a new one. He also got to goofing off on his cell when he was supposed to be doing school work and lost it for a couple of weeks.

Now we have new rules! He can only use his phone after all school work and chores are complete and he is only allowed to call and text approved people. It is his responsibility to keep it charged. It is his responsibility to carry it when he goes and does things that I am not with him. We have no internet or anything fancy on his phone. Just text and talk. So far it has been a learning experience for all of us. He turned 12 last week!

[nicole]

I've been thinking about this too, although my kids are definitely still too young (my oldest is 7). My Husband's former boss gave his young son a cell phone, but it was one that did not dial. It was like a Jitterbug I guess--numbers were programmed in remotely. So the kid could only call his mom and dad. I like that idea. I say no texting at your son's age. My sister was telling me about her friend's daughter who is 11 exchanging inappropriate text messages. Also, all the kids we know that can text do that in place of conversation. And are rude about it. Okay, that was a generalization. I think prepaid is the way to go, with firm limits. Also, why does he think he needs one? Has he given good reasons? Because what 10 year old is not around an adult with a phone at all times? Kids say they need one to reach the parents, but presumably they are with responsible adults all the time anyway.

[ruth ann]

At what age will I give my kids their first cell phone? Well, I'm 38 and I don't have one yet.

My kids are all under age 5. So I guess that means I've got at least 30 years to decide when to give them a phone. HA!!

[Lorien]

Have you ever heard of a firefly? It's a phone without a keypad, designed for emergency use by little kids. It has picture keys for mom and dad, and buttons to access an address book. It can only make or receive calls for the numbers programmed into it.

It seems to me like it would be a great starter phone if you aren't sure if they can handle a phone. But it might seem a little childish to an older kid.

Actually, I just looked them up to give a link - it looks like they've expanded into offering fully functional phones with built-in parental control as well as the phones I described. Huh.

http://www.fireflymobile.com/index.php

[sandy]

HA! I'm #109 ...

Security - sure, get a pre-paid phone that stays in the backpack.

Otherwise I'd wait til 12, at least.

Life changes when you get one, but you know that!

Adding to our parent role now is "cell-phone-chief!" :)

[Sara]

As a 5th grade teacher, I loved it when my students had a phone. Not only did I feel they were safer, I loved having instant access to Momma. ;-)

[Tani]

Please, please teach him proper etiquette. It really bothers me when piano students take phone calls in the middle of lessons (you're paying for that conversation mom and dad). Teach him to be in the moment and interacting with reality and not always talking on his phone or texting someone. Don't text in church (so rude and disrespectful). Parents, don't be afraid to be a little counter-cultural. It never hurts your kids to have a higher standard.

[Suzanne]

My stepdaughter got a phone two years ago, when she was 11. Since then, she's gone through at least six phones because she either breaks them, loses them, or drops them in the ocean (the most recent). She's always texting, to the point that her grades and such suffer, but trying to restrict her usage makes her very rebellious. During July she sent over 23,000 text messages! My own kids won't have cell phones until they're old enough to pay for them and use them judiciously.

[Karen]

I have yet to buy my daughter a cell phone (she's only 8), but I learned the hard way with my now-24-year-old stepson that when the time comes to buy my daughter a cell phone she will only be getting a prepaid phone. If she uses up the mom and dad minutes, then she has to buy more herself. Also, she won't get one until at least middle school -- if even then.

[Kristen {dancing in the margins}]

I'm all for teaching children responsible technology! Going against the grain here, I think texting (even if it does need to be limited) is a good tool. If for some reason a child was ever in a situation where a phone call would be dangerous, a text could really come in handy.

And do they still make cell phones without cameras? ; ) lol.

[Candace (Mama Mia)]

My oldest is only 5 - so thankfully we're no where near this yet, but I think that instead of a general age you just have to go by the maturity of your child. I'll throw in my 2 cents about pre-paid- I have a Tracfone for my personal use and I love it. No surprise bills, I know exactly how long I can talk and when my minutes expire. Plus they're usually running pretty good promotions to get more minutes.

[Goslyn]

I think a lot of this discussion intersects with your rules on technology in general. Is your 10-year-old allowed to chat online? Does he have a blog?

My concern with giving a phone to such a young child would be the ability of the technology to be used in a way that would hurt your child. Cyber-bullying applies to texting too. Gretchen's point about "sexting" is completely valid. I don't know anyone who texts - teens or adults - who does not send inappropriate text messages. (I myself don't text, and had texting turned off from my phone after receiving one such message from someone I considered a friend.) I'm not saying your sweet son would send such messages, but he will be sure to receive them.

Perhaps a no-frills, prepaid phone with limited calling - something like a Firefly phone or other phone that you can CLOSELY monitor - may be a safer bet if you really want to give him a phone.

[Lisa@take90west]

Good luck with this decision, Mom! It is on ongoing topic of conversation in our house too around holidays and birthdays, but we have finally made a decision and the kids seem to be handling it well.

My oldest are 9 and 10, 4th and 5th grade girls. 5th grade is the last year at their elementary school and next year the oldest will be off to middle school. We decided each child could have a phone when they begin sixth grade. It seems like in middle school they are involved in more things/activities at school and need to be picked up more often rather than riding the bus, also they have dances (A WHOLE OTHER TOPIC!!) so I think for those reasons a phone will be appropriate. In sixth grade, I definately see the beginnings of them being away from us more. Right now, as fourth and fifth graders, my old fashioned argument still holds true... Where do they go without me? Nowhere!!

Looking forward to reading the comments on this!

[owlhaven]

We have chosen to wait til our kids are driving age. Granted, we home school, and that keeps our younger ones closer to us, and less in need of communication to arrange pickup from school, etc. If my kids were away from me large chunks of each day, I might feel differently.

But there is something to be said for saving some privileges for older ages. This gives kids something to look forward to. They don't assume they're entitled to things. And it makes them a little less likely to be gadget-dependent and always focused on the next new thing.

Mary, mom to 10

[Sarah]

I know this was mentioned at least once, but please consider the growing evidence that cell phone use is linked to brain tumors in children, who are more vulnerable than adults since their brains are still developing.

My husband and I are in our late twenties with a third daughter on the way. We are amazed at where technology has gone in the last 10-11 years- since we graduated from high school! Parents need to be very vigilant about children using technology. Vicki Courtney (virtuousreality.com) has some great blog articles about being tech-savvy with children. My husband used to build computers for fun, and loves new technology, so he is pretty confident that he will be able to keep ahead of our children in this area, since he actually understands how things work.

It is a worrying matter when parents are technologically clueless, and then feel pressured by their children to not get behind the times. Um, did it really take any of y'all that long to grasp computer skills once required?

It sounds like your son really wants this, but I would be concerned about why. It seems like it would be an easier thing to wait a couple of years than instead to have to take away the phone down the line.

As my close friend tells me- children (talking about our toddlers, but it still applies!) have not much else going on in their minds except how to get their own way, whereas you have a million things going on in yours, so don't let them beat you down:)

I'm interested to hear how you handle this.

[Rainy @ More Gravy]

A 9 or 10-year-old probably doesn't really need a cell phone but when I was 9 or 10 we got our first Atari. We got the first VCR in the neighborhood. When I was 11 my parents gave me a walkman which was the cool thing. I didn't need any of that stuff. But it was great!

Those things made me feel like my parents trusted me, and once we got them the mystery was kind of gone and became a responsibility. Instead of thinking of when *we* got cell phones, consider when your parents trusted you with the current technology and how you regarded that trust and responsibility. HTH!!

[Mary]

My oldest is almost 2 and my youngest is 2 months away from being born, so from a parent's perspective I'm not there yet, thank goodness. But, I did teach middle school for 7 years before having my son and I have to say I wholeheartedly agree with Terra's comment above. You have to teach technology and teach it early, just like you teach good manners and responsibility.

Sticking your head in the sand and acting like kids shouldn't text and kids shouldn't use the Internet on their phones is just not reality. While teaching, I saw a huge difference b/t the kids who had been taught responsible use of tech. and those whose parents were refusing to believe their kids were old enough to use it. HUGE difference. Believe me, they find a way around parents' rules. (I found that many use friend's phones.) That is why I think it's so important to expose them early and teach them right from wrong (as it pertains to technology) while they are still young enough to listen.

I personally think 10 is a good age to introduce cell phones. Like someone said earlier, start out strictly and get easier on him as you see his responsibility grow. And I guess be ready to yank it back when you see the need. (What a great consequence for bad behavior!)

[Blue Castle]

I'm just trying to wrap my head around the idea of a 10 year old having a cell phone.

My oldest is 8, so a couple years younger, but there's just no way I would put a cell phone in his hands.
Then, again, we don't have the need that maybe you do. Being homeschoolers doesn't give us time away and the need to get ahold of us.
I know there are some great plans out there and even some phones where you program in the numbers they're allowed to call, etc. So, it might be a good idea and work well for you and your kid.
Our society is just so technologically advanced, sometimes I think we see things as "needs" that really are "wants" and in fact, we'd be better off without them. But, again, I'm speaking as someone who has only owned a cell phone for the last year. My husband and I refused to get one until a medical emergency created a need, and now we are glad to have it for long car trips, etc. We don't use it for much more than that, though.

[Amy]

My son is only 7 years old... still too young for a cell phone. That being said, my hubby and I have already started talking about the issue.

Many of our friends have older children. After talking with them about the issue, most have come to the same conclusion... The love the fact that they can get in touch with their children. They love the fact that their kids can call them in the event of an emergency. They love having an additional privilege to take away in the event of some misbehaving.

The only regret they have is that they don't feel like they know all of their children's friends. The friends call the cell phone, not the house. This was something I hadn't even considered before.

[Steffj89]

We hsve had this conversation many times as well. Our boys are still way too young at 4 and 5 and on the way...LOL but I want to be prepared. It annoys me to see 7 year olds with cell phones. Remember when pagers came out? They were for Drs and people who really NEEDED to be in touch and then cell phones came along...I seem to be in the middle here with most people I have had one since the early 90's started with a second generation...it wasnt a bag phone, but it had to be plugged in to use it and weighed a ton...If someone had told me back then that I would eventually carry a phone that fit easily in my back pocket and had more memory than the first 4 computers I owned I would have laughed my butt off.

I digress however from the actual topic. My 5 year old was terribly disappointed to find out that my old razr wouldnt work even long enough for him to call his daddy. We havent set an age yet, but living as far out in the country as we do I do think it will be a necessity more than a choice when the time comes. Right now I am saying when he moves up from the grade school to the middle school will likely be the point that does it for me. By the same token I am torn, the boys are not quite 10 months apart, how do I let one and not the other????
We are adding a home computer for the two of them in the living room this winter.
When the time comes I believe I will have them check the phones in at bedtime and they may retrieve them in the morning. They will also be checked in either with me or with another responsible adult when going to things like church youth group etc.

There are many privilidges they will be allowed with consequences spelled out equally. They will not be allowed more than the most limited texting, private ringtones, unlimited access to anything...
And i agree with the prior poster who noted if some girl wanted ot call her son she needed to sweat out what his dad would say...in our house it will be that she needs to sweat out what mom will say cause I will guarantee I will completely discourage my boys from being involved with aggressive or boy crazy girls....
hubby on the other hand will be offended permanently if they arent chased often...LOL

All of that said, you live in a completely different situation than we do. You are in a city environment, you are closer to the activities they are involved in, BUT in some ways its more dangerous or an emergency is more likely to evolve where you are. Its 20 miles to town for us, my boys arent likely to go to movies with friends etc, without us "meeting" the other parents there because we all live so far out.
at 10 or 11 when I was growing up we lived in OKC and I was allowed to be dropped off at the movies and to ride my bike the 6 blocks to the shopping center...I think it would have been a good thing for us to have had in some ways...additionally, when we did those things there were pay phones EVERYWHERE, every store, the theater, restaraunts...I got stuck in Tulsa recently and my cell phone went down...I had to hunt for 30 minutes to find a pay phone....that isnt an option to me for a kid....
Steff

[Erin]

Wow...this is a tough topic! I'm 24...so cell phones were just becoming popular back when I was about 15 or 16. They were big and bulky...I remember mine had a green background with black text...nothing special--and service was horrible! I barely used it because it never seemed to work. I never really NEEDED to use it anyway...

I honestly don't know what the right "age" is for someone to have a cell phone. I remember back when I was younger and didn't have one, and I was perfectly fine. But these days, cell phones are such an important part in most peoples lives...it's quite sad actually! That feeling of panic when you realize you don't have your phone with you. How did it ever come to this anyway!?

Kids are different these days than they were 10 years ago...even 5 years ago! I don't have kids yet, so by the time I do--who KNOWS what the latest and greatest technology will be...kind of scary to think about!!

Good luck with your decision! keep us posted! :)

[Stacy]

Our son got a Blackberry when he was 8 and it's been wonderful. In our defense, since it does sound ridiculous that an 8 y/o has a Blackberry, he is a Type I diabetic and I wanted a phone that would be easy to use, have GPS locaters and have different nerdy programs for him/us to use. I don't know that he'd have had one so early without his health issues (this way he can always reach us if he's playing with a friend and starts to feel bad - autonomy, but safely). He's a tech nerd like his Dad so I know he'd have had one by 10 though. IMO, each kid is different. My son is responsible enough at 8 to have an expensive phone and not misuse it... whereas ME at 8 would have already had a huge bill and lost it a dozen times.

We did disable his ability to surf the net on it, but it has texting and messenger. I've programmed all the numbers and speed dials and he can't change or add without talking to us first. It's been nothing but a help for us. It's fun for the grandparents to call him directly too. Once I disciplined him for something and he called my Mom from his phone to ask if she could talk to me about 'a more reasonable punishment'. He's a silly monkey.

[Queen of the Click]

I'm a middle school teacher and most of my 11 year old students have them. Many students got them over the summer as the middle school is a bit further away from their homes. They are allowed to be in their bags, but turned off.

Cell phone technology and texting is a whole area of technology that preteens enjoy. It's a way of socializing in 2008, like we did over the phone years ago.

Some children are better at monitoring themselves than others. I have one student who had a cell phone bill of $270 because of texting. I think parents need to let their children know what limits they have on using cell/texting (just as our parents yelled for us to get off the phone).

Many parents have learned that they have good leverage when they say, "I'm going to take your cell away." Some feel they can't take the cell away because that is how they keep connected to their kids while they aren't home.

Question: Will your older son be upset if his younger brother gets a phone too? I mean maybe your older son didn't ask because he didn't want to trouble you with it or the expense. A cell phone could be a right of passage if you aren't ready for your younger one to have one.

[Gwyn]

As far as age, I don't think my 10 yr old is ready for the responsibility. She can't keep track of her shoes, much less a phone!

But if I did let her get one, I think a phone like the Firefly is the way to go. The way I understand it is that you pre-program numbers that can be called and those are the only ones that can be called or something like that.

I personally think I'll wait until 12 at least.....

[Ruthanne (in Seattle)]

I have read some comments, but not all of them so forgive me if I'm repeating. . . I have two daughters 18 (college freshman) and nearly 17 (high school jr.) They each got a phone when they were starting high school (9th grade). We felt it was necessary as I was starting to work outside the home and they were needing to be more independent in getting places, having a key and getting in the house more often, etc. I got a cell phone at the same time as my children and for the most part, for the same reasons - so I could be in touch with them more easily. I would say - figure out what the family needs are. Cell phones today are used as "accoutrements" for middle/high school some grade school kids. What kind of phone, what can it do, what color, etc. The kids are interested in having many contacts/friends and texting is the main way they connect with each other. Know that texting will be the primary way your kids will use the phone with their friends. I would discourage getting one just because someone is responsible enough, or because the friends have one and he/she doesn't. If your kids are going to be away from you more and you want to be able to contact them (and vice versa) then a phone is a way to do that. Best wishes and wisdom!

[Giyen]

Defer cell phones as long as possible. Really. My daughter got a cell phone when she went into middle school only because she commutes to an island to go to school (long story). If it were not for that situation, I would TOTALLY wait to get a cell phone. All these middle schoolers are attached to these phones like they are appendages of their bodies. If you do decide, here are some tips:

1) Splurge on unlimited text messaging. Forget the minutes, kids text and rarely talk.

2) Do not let your kid take the phone in the bedroom. We keep ours in the kitchen to charge over night. My daughter gets text messages at 1 am sometimes.

3) Be clear about downloads. Kids want those nifty ringtones and sometimes will ignore the fact that they cost money.

4) Write out a contract ahead of time and post in their room. Even better yet, make him memorize it.

Hope this helps! :)

[Erin]

We are planning to get our daughter one when she is 11 because I work in a different school district than she will attend in middle school. She will need to walk from the bus stop to our house and I want her to have a cell to be able to call us if there is an emergency. We are going to go with the bare bones, pre-paid kind of deal you described. I think if he can be responsible with it, go for it! ;)

[Traci]

I am going to wait until my kids are driving, especially so they can reach us if the car were to break down or something. Even though at 12 and 14 they thing they are the only kids without a cellphone, I just don't see the need. They are either at school, church, or with us so no need to add an extra expense. My friend's 13 year old daughter had thousands of texts in one month and her phone rings constantly. It's annoying.

[Darla]

My son is 12, he doesn't have a cell phone but we live in ho-dunk. :D

[Richael]

I'm probably the least qualified to comment on this (my oldest is 4), but I've given it some thought and I think it's like everything else in our lives. I'm pretty sure we both agree our purpose is to glorify God (bear with me, I promise not to preach :). I'd simply answer the question, "Will this bring glory to God, or better yet, Will this bring dishonor to God?" I'd try to figure out "Why" he wants/needs one...will it bring arguments in the family because he has one and others don't...is it simply so he can fit in with his friends...will it provide yet another subject of discourse between parent and child? If there are times when he needs one, I liked the idea of having a "family phone", one where Mom and Dad are the owners, but it's available when needed. It's a great question, one which has truly given me reason to ponder all day. Thanks for posting it!

[Catrina]

I am not a parent, so I have little advice to give. However, my mom works for T-mobile and they have a great plan that is completely customizable. You can set all kinds of limits. You choose how many minuets each phone has and when they use all of them you can make it so that they can only make calls to you or no calls at all. There are so many different, cool things you can do with it. I don't know if it is on the website but I am sure if you called they could tell you all about it. My mom said its perfect for kids because the parent is completely in control of everything about it, but the kid still gets the phone learns the responsibility and management of it.

[Martha]

Oh, is this a hot topic at our house. I will have to spend some time reading all the responses.
I read a parenting book on time and they suggested no earlier than 14. Part of their reasoning was by giving your child a cell phone it keeps the child dependent on the parent. The child gets in a sticky situation and immediately calls home for help versus trying to figure out on their own what to do or to learn how to deal with other adults in order to get help. The author gave a ridiculous example of a child flipping over in a canoe on a river trip, and instead of figuring out what to do on their own, the kid pulls out a cell phone and calls home and asks his mom what to do. Never going to happen, but it makes you think. As much as you don't want your kids "talking to strangers," at some point they are going to have to, and they are going to have to determine who is "good" and "evil" They need to learn to deal with others and learn to handle things on their own. Otherwise, they will be 25 yrs. old and still calling home for help.
Lots of my 11 yr. old daughter's friends got phones this past year (she did not), a lot of parents said the phones got used for about 2 weeks and now just sit. The thrill is gone.
I say wait. He'll survive without it.

[Beth @ A Quest for Relevance]

My oldest didn't get one until he turned 14. It's a prepay or pay-as-you-go, whatever type thing. A few months ago he ran out of minutes.

So what happened?

He just didn't have a cell for a while. He has money, and he chose not to spend it on cell phone minutes. I was proud of him, because I thought he acted responsibly.

As it turned out, I was the one who decided to put more minutes on it. I had gotten used to his availability with it, and when he was involved in sports, I wanted him to have it back.

I'm such a sucker :-)

But seriously, this has worked out great for us so far.

[Laurie]

All three of my children have cell phones. They aren't very old, but we have a specific reason for needing cells. We dropped our landline recently, and switched to all cellphones. My youngest is 11, and so they are able to stay home alone, and we just didn't want them home alone with no way to call for help if the need be. They are not required to pay for their phones because it's a necessity, but donations help! ;)

[Anissa@Hope4Peyton]

I have a 10 yo son asking for the same thing. I just did a review on Kajeet phone service and am now seriously considering it. BIG time on the safety features and totally manageable by you. Ridiculous amounts of control so nothing goes overboard.

[Vicky]

No idea on ages...

But (and this may have already been mentioned), they have cell phones that you can set to only be able to call 3-4 #s. So, you could put in your home, cell, dad's cell, and dad's work or something.

Also... I read on Raising Five that her kids' cells are charged each night in a main area (kitchen or something) and have to be on the charger by a certain time. This prevents late night chats with friends.

[Brittney]

I do not have children, but I do have significantly younger siblings. I am 21, with a 10 year old brother and 5 year old sister. My brother has asked for a phone for over a year now and I have talked to my parents about this being my gift for him. Pre paid of course. He would have to manage minutes and earn new ones from me of course since I bought it for him. He would not be able to take it to school, just when he is not at home or on camping trips.

[Whitney @ Baby Tunnel Exodus]

My son is 9 and I gave him a cell phone last month. He hadn't asked for one; I wanted him to have it. He has Aspergers (high functioning autism); I wanted him to be able to reach me anywhere at any time. He is not allowed to play with the games/ camera because "it's not a toy." He keeps it in his backpack, not his pocket, and we charge it as needed. He got a kick out of calling family members, but for both of us, it's just another tool in his toolbox. It makes Me feel better to know I can always reach him too. Plus, God forbid he ever got lost, missed a buss, etc., his first line of defense could be his parents, not a stranger.

Do whatever you know is best for Your child; I don't think there's a one size fits all answer.

Blessings, Whitney

[Julie]

Funny - my oldest is 5 (FIVE!) and that's what she wants for Christmas too. Luckily I think it's quite an easy decision at this age - took me about 2 seconds to say No! - (although her same-aged BFF has one.)

Anyway, I'm a little panic-stricken about the whole idea - good thing I've got a while to adjust. Thanks for the topic and the comments.

[cutiepiescustomcreations]

What an interesting discussion! My oldest is just about to turn 6 so I am hoping I do not have to deal with this til high school..(yeah right!) LOL. I havent tackled this mountain yet, so I can't really say what I will do when the time comes. I am another never had a cell til after I was married---gasp!!! And I still rarely use it. Neither my husband or I text. This is one of those things that I really wish wasnt such a reality in today's world...sigh.

[Natalie]

Back in the good old days of the 1990's, my 1st cell phone was a phone that I shared with my mom. I was 15. I would take it to events where I would be alone with friends and she would have to pick me up later like ball games, movies, etc. I could call if something happen or I needed her. I got my own cell phone at 16 when I started driving. I had to pay any overages out of my allowance. This only happened once.

[Ruth]

Just so you know...

My husband works with electromagnetic design software. It is proven that cell phones give off radiation that it dangerous to the brain. Just how dangerous has yet to be determined, but it is believed that it is particularly dangerous for children, and can contribute to brain cancer.

If you get your children phones, you should strictly limit how much time they spend talking on them, for their health and safety.

[Jenn]

I think it depends on the child. Our oldest received one in her freshman year when she started on the track team. It was a necessity. But she's also been very responsible. Our youngest is a computer hound and a shopaholic, obsessive actually. She is a sophomore and still does not have a phone (and we constantly hear about it). She will probably get a hand-me-down or a pay-in-advance version so that we can limit it's use....Just planning for the inevitable. I say hold off as long as you can and milk it for all it's worth. :)

[Mrs. Bick]

Can of worms. Lid off. Worms everywhere.

I know I will NOT be the popular parent, but at least my husband and I are on the same page on this topic (most topics, actually... don't get me going on training wheels, though!)

Our children will not be getting a cell phone before they are 16. And then if they can pay for it. All of it. And can demonstrate good judgement and be responsible. Their phones will be a priveledge, because until they turn 18 and/or no longer live under my roof, I am responsible for them, and their actions.

As a teacher, I have to say there is so many problems coming up with cell phones in schools... and texting is the least of problems. How about parents calling their children in the middle of the day to chat? Or cheating? Or undermining the authority of school officials to provide an adequate, undisturbed learning environment.

Been on a campus lately? Kids literally walk, texting, reading emails, whatever... this group of kids will have difficulty with certain face-to-face interaction skills (and spelling, I suspect).

Sorry. How did that soap box get there?!

[Pecos Blue]

Get one with low SAR value new studies are showing a link to brain cancer and children are most susceptible because there skull is not fully formed and hardened.

[Maria]

I was 24 when I got my first phone (I'm 27 now...) I still lived at home and there was no need for one...my sisters had phones and I was rarely without them. I only got the phone b/c my brother worked for Sprint at the time and got me an awesome deal. Mom used to joke that I should have waited to get the phone until I was serious about a guy and then make sure our phones were compatable! (I didnt tell her til MUCH later that the first month my hubby and I were dating that his bill was over $500!!)

I have 4 brothers...2 have phones, 2 dont. The 21 and 17 year old do and the 14 and 12 year old dont. My parents did not want the 17 year old to get one...he snuck to WalMart and bought a pre-paid. I know this is a very drastic case...but he had texting. That's how he talked to his girlfriend...she sent him a text saying she was gonna go out on a date with another guy....my brother attempted suicide. This is a girl he would not have any contact with outside of work if not for that cell phone. B/c of the attempt he's messed up the plans he had for his life. He wanted to join the military, and now cant.

The younger 2 brothers ask Mom for a cell and she tells them that when SHE gets a phone then they'll talk (Mom hates cells phones)

I know I sound like I'm against them...but you know your child better than anyone else. Personally...I'm glad my son is only 5 months old and I dont have to worry about it for a very long time (or ever...who knows what will be out when he's older...)

[Catherine]

I have two kids. For the last six months they have shared a "pre paid" phone that had a bad screen. Basically the only thing they could do was dial out to get us. So For Christmas because they have been responsible, we purchased them both (ten year old girl, eleven year old boy) their own pre-paid cell phones. They cost $20 at Wal Mart and are T-mobile, We put $100 in air time. The reason we did $100 was w/ T-mible, you can keep the minutes for one year once you purchase a combined total of $100.

So one way to see if they are ready to be added to my cell plan, is to give them these...if they do good for one year, then I will give them a real phone with real text messaging too...but prove to me on a phone that i'm not going to die from a $600 bill!!! :)

Catherine

[amy]

I'm concerned about my twelve-year-old boy having a phone because I will lose control over who's calling him, what they're texting him, what photos might be appearing on the phone, etc. It's not your son you need to worry about. It's his peers who don't have enough parental supervision of their own!

[Dayna]

We plan to let our oldest have a phone with a very limited plan when she is in middle school. She's now 10. At one time, I thought 16 was young enough, but then my friend's nephews, 10 and 8 were in a horrible school bus accident. Fortunately, the oldest had a phone and was able to contact his mother immediately. He was terrified and unable to find his brother. Once I thought about how much time they spend away from me, it made sense to make sure they had some method of communication. As for who will pay for it, we haven't come to that conclusion yet.

[Jerri]

I say no. I see no need for a kid who's not old enough to drive to have a cell phone. I think we should make the kids be kids, which means teaching them that cell phones are a tool that adults use. If kids want to talk on the phone, they can use the house phone. That's more safe anyway and helps you to stay more informed about who your kids are talking to.

And I think we all need to teach kids that there's more to life than texting & instant messaging and video games, and we need to encourage them to cut down on the texting and the internet stuff and focus on other forms of communicating, such as actual conversation, and maybe even the stoneage practices of reading & writing.

I think 15 or 16 is a good age to have a phone. And even then I think strict guidelines and limitations and heavy monitoring should be placed on all teenagers that have a phones. But anything under 15, I think, is just too young.

[The Glamorous Life]

My son is 10. And we are doing it for Christmas. He has had to get 3 A+ on Math tests in a ROW. To even earn this privelege. And I told him it is totally tied into his grades. If they slip- the phone gets shelved.

He wants a phone to be cool. But I want him to have a phone to help ME out. "Honey I running late-wait with your brother inside" kinda thing.

10 is totally old enough. Around my area-kids start getting them in Kindergarten. And NO I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING AT ALL. And yes, many of them are iphones. Insane.

[Nicole]

I hear you, sister. My 12 year old think he "needs" one too. I hadn't considered the idea of giving them a chance to set limits and good habits before the "I know everything and you are an idiot, mom" years. But I think it still boils down to need for us. When it comes time, I think we'll know.

[The Random Muse]

I got a phone a few weeks after I rear-ended someone, totaling my car, and had to borrow their phone to contact my parents. My two younger sisters (by 3 and 4 years) got them at the same time. I think I was 18, so they were 14 and 15. The youngest is proud of how she texted so much that my father was forced to buy the texting plan for her so as not to go broke from the bills. The middle one and I have never gone over any of our limits even though our phones have been nearly our only means of communication with the real world while we are at College.

[Robin ~ PENSIEVE]

Shannon,

You've already had tons of comments, I'm sure they've offered great suggestions, so you might not even "need" my 2 cents, but I thought I'd chime in just the same.

Interesting that it's your second child who is begging for one; the same was true for us. We had "always said" we'd allow cells when our kids were driving, and our daughter asked for one for her 15th bday; just before she started high school. That sounded like perfect, reasonable timing. We bought the phone and she pays for her monthly minutes with babysitting money.

My son, another story. He began asking in 6th grade; we held out. We already had experience watching kids at school (or at the mall or ANYWHERE kids congregate in packs): They walk around texting! At games, they text, in the car, WHEREVER, and while they're more connected than ever, true relationship is elusive.

We agreed to a phone for my son for his 14th birthday (right before entering 8th grade). I thought we weren't going to let him get texting, but b/c he had earned money to pay for it, my husband agreed when they purchased the phone.

The first month he went 500 TEXTS OVER HIS LIMIT. Thankfully (for my son, so he could LIVE), I have a friend who works for Verizon who temporarily changed our plan to unlimited for him for $5 instead of the $100 it would have cost!). Thing is, it wasn't my son's texts, it was the hundreds his friends sent when they found out he had a phone!

Sooooo, all this said to preface my advice and to share different thoughts I didn't hear in your post or in the few comments I scanned:

a) ALL PARENTS need to understand their child enters a new world with a phone; you won't hear conversations they're having and it affords them a new freedom.

b) If I had it to do over again (it's just so dang hard to put that cat back in the bag!) I would NOT allow texting!!! EVEN if they can pay for it! If you do, I'd require a "no erase" policy. My kids know I can pick up their phone at any time for a "check", and I can judge if they're erasing by watching it online. When I've checked, mostly it's silly one liners--KIDS ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE THE LAST WORD, so they'll go back and forth a few times with one-word texts...crazy!

c) I like the idea of pre-paids better than the other....

d) Convenience for the parent isn't always the BEST thing for the child, even when the child is arguing otherwise.

Personally, I do think 10 is young, regardless of maturity :). You've gotta temper that thought with understanding we held out a long time, and my 14 y o WAS one of the last kids in his glass to get one.

We were famous...or rather, INFAMOUS ;).

[Veronica mitchell]

I got my first cell phone at 35. Sounds good to me.

[Rona]

Our son received his first cellphone at 11 years old. It's a prepaid phone.
These days, he's all about texting so we did switch to Cricket. For only $35 a month he has unlimited texting.

[patois]

When each child started walking home alone from school, they got a cell phone. (Hey, it's not that far a walk and I was following behind with younger kids, so don't panic about my poor parenting kids.) So they were in fourth grade. The phones were free and the addition to our bill was $5 per month. Now, with a middle schooler, we're paying an additional $10 for his phone per month for unlimited texting. He doesn't contribute anything, per se, although we haven't raised his allowance, so he actually is.

[alisha Brodrick]

working for a cell phone company comes in hand and i just though you might like to know that you can have the internet blocked on the phones to where they can't have access... And I think the pre paid is the best way to go.... just me personally!!!

[Erica]

I'm not a big fan of the cell phones as kids thing. As a teacher I see 4th graders with nicer phones than mine, though, so I know not everyone shares my views. If I were to purchase a cell phone for my child at that age, I would purchase one of the ones with pre-set phone numbers. They have like five buttons that you can set up phone numbers for: maybe one for dad, one for mom, one for 911, one for grandma and grandpa, and one for nearby neighbor or other relative. The kids may think it's lame, but they're young and don't need to be calling their best friends without my knowledge. They can call family for fun or for emergencies, though, all they want. That's my view...

[Erin Craig]

Maybe I am not the most qualified to answer because my son/daughter is only 19 weeks in the womb; but I have several nieces and nephews about the same age. I think it is really silly! No offense to anyone but I just don't see how a child really needs one. My husband and I have talked about this subject and we agree that when our kid is old enough to be driving they can get one. They will also help pay for it. I would want my teenage driver to have a phone in case of emergencies while driving. But a child younger than that just shouldn't be many places without an adult in close proximity who probably has a phone they could use. I think with a phone at home and the internet a child that age has plenty to keep in contact with friends. I think a cell phone is just one more device to encourage them to be out of the family circle too often.

[Nicole Gunn]

I would wait as long as you can. Your child's brain is still growing. Now days you have to be careful about kid's growing brains and the bad EMF that phones emit. Just saying is all. Be careful. I have a biopro cell chip on my phone that protects me. I feel so much better about using my phone now.

[Headless Mom]

Before my girl got her own (her mother pays for it...gah! whole.other.issue.) She would take mine if needed. Our rule was not until you're 16 and were driving, but her mom got her one at 15. I had to take it away from her for a while at bed time so she would go to sleep instead of calling/texting friends. We also have a rule that it's not allowed at the dinner table-for a while she would sit looking at her lap the entire time-rude! IMO, I keep pretty tight tabs on my kids so there is no reason to have one until they have more freedom. The boys are 9 and 7 and not really asking for one yet. Will I change my mind? I doubt it. I hate cell phones, rarely use my own, and hate it when people are rude about usage (ie, walking through a store gabbing away, ignoring all those around them, taking calls in the middle of a conversation or meal, talking while driving, etc.) /rant.

[Beth]

My kids will definitely not get cell phones before they have driver's licenses. Before that they will be with a parent or other adult, or at least in a building with access to a phone, pretty much all the time, so there is no need for a cell phone. I personally have a pre-paid cell phone which I use only for emergencies/traveling - I don't think the expense is worthwhile for anything more. Once my daughter is old enough to drive, I might get an extra cell phone which I would give her only when she is going to be driving by herself. Maybe we would keep it in the car. This would be only for emergencies, and I would give strict instructions that it is not to be used for calling friends/texting/etc. without prior permission.

In particular, I don't think kids/teenagers who attend public or private school should be allowed to take cell phones with them. It may seem to convenient for them to be able to call home easily, but they can easily use a school pay phone or office phone for this purpose. Having been a high school teacher, I know how much trouble cell phones can be in the classroom. I have also seen a lot of peer pressure related to cell phone use in school, and it's probably better to avoid this. Teach responsible, limited cell phone use outside of school first, and be sure you can trust your child to obey your instructions in the face of peer pressure before letting the cell phone go to school.

[sarah]

when i was 10, i was catching two buses to school each day - about 45minutes or more each way - on my own. with no familiar adults or other children from my school. a mobile (cell phone) would have been handy for days when the bus drivers were idiots and wouldnt let me on, and i was stranded half way to school with no way to get either to school, or back home again.

i got a mobile when i was 16 and catching 2 buses and a train to and from school every day - over an hour and a half each way - and often staying after school hours for extra work. so i could call home and mum wouldnt panic when i was more than 15minutes late. it came in very very handy. but i was on a very basic plan. my parents paid for it, but at $9/month it was worth it to them for me to be safe.

if he's out a lot on his own, a phone can be good for safety reasons, but if hes never out of adult supervision, does he need one? whats the point? a basic plan or a pre-paid may be worth it, but honestly, most ten year olds arent going to be in a situation where they do need it. hopefully.

[sarah]

oh and no matter how much my kids (now 4yrs and -2 months) beg and plead and insist they are the ONLY kids who dont have one, and tell me what a TERRIBLE mother i am for not letting them have one, they are not getting mobiles until either they can pay for it, or they are in a situation (like my bus-to-school-thing) where their safety and my piece of mind outways the cost to me. and then it will be a basic phone that does nothing more than make calls. if such things still exist by then.

[Diane Mc]

My three oldest kids got cell phones upon graduation from high school, but with my youngest - the coordination of rides from school was more complicated and we needed to be able to reach him at after school practices and such. We discovered Virgin Mobile phones, I got one first and used it for about a year before we got him one. It costs only about $5 a month (you have to buy at least $15 of minutes every three months - but they do keep). As long as they don't talk too much, it is great, and texts are only 5 cents each. (the phone is cheap and plastic and white, but I don't care - my older kids say its junk).

[Rechelle]

Uh... The CD and I just had a discussion about this very thing. Our eldest has a phone, I have a phone and the CD who actually needs a phone... has a phone. For these silly phones that none of us really needs except for my husband, we pay $1500.00 a year. That seems pretty ridiculous. I think we are going to get rid of at least one of our phones very soon. Me and the kids can share a phone. Really - don't look at it as a monthly charge, add up that year and then think what else you could do with that cash. I am thinking plane tickets... a new computer... a few nights at a nice hotel... etc...etc...

[susieshomemade]

For me, my older daughter got her first cell phone when she started to drive. To me, there was no other reason that she needed one until then.

[Samantha]

When I was a pre-teen / teenager, there were pay phones everywhere or people would let you use their land lines. That isn't the case any more, so cell phones have become much more necessary. Our son is in middle school now and is going to more and more church and school functions without us. I'm starting to see where having a phone for him to use would be helpful so I could reach him or he could reach me. Social situations can be difficult for him and I like the idea of him having a way to reach me to signal that he needs a way out without the embarassment of having to borrow a phone and have his conversation overheard. So I've been entertaining the idea of getting a third phone on our plan to hand out on occasions when he might need it. It wouldn't be "his" phone and he would have to reserve it for communicating with us. He's 11, for reference. Now I just have to convince his father... :-)

[Michelle]

Our oldest son just got his first cell phone 8 days ago. He just turned 15 on Sunday. Until this year we really didn't have a need for him to have a cell phone, if he wanted to talk with his friends he had our home phone and when he wasn't with us he was with another responsible adult or near a phone. I'm a early 30's mom and it wasn't that long ago that I traveled across the country by myself with 2 small children and no cell phone, I don't buyy into the need for a cell for safety.

Long story short, we bought him the phone and he pays the $10 a month add on to our cell phone plan. He's responsible and is already saving to purchase the insurance on his phone. He'll have to track his minutes and if he goes over he pays... he also is old enough to work and looks like he'll start his first job this month! I think you have to decide what works best for your family and your child.

[Amy]

Considering surprise bills and a lost phone are good things but I would be thinking more about just who your 10 year old would be texting and calling? It is my opinion that 10 is too young for a cell phone. Let your kids stay kids for as long as possible. They will thank you later :)

[candy]

i HIGHLY recommend kajeet - check out www.kajeet.com/bargain to get 15% off your order and also you can use code "Bonus10" at activation for a $10 credit! It's the first and only company that is cell phones for kids...very cool parental control features, a GPS locator, and more! Good luck making your decision! :)

[Sandi]

I had friends who gave their 10yo a phone. She was homeschooled, and an only child so mom was always around, so I really didn't understand the need for one. But it wasn't my kid.

My son started asking for one probably around 10 as well. Nope, nope, nope. Then he got to middle school, and had a lot of after school activities. Except the school phones weren't accessible after school, and even though he could sometimes borrow a phone to call me, that left me with no way to reach HIM. So even though he was still 11, I decreed he could have a phone when he turned 13 as a 'rite of passage'. He stopped pestering me about it, but I knew he was counting down the days!

I signed up for the lowest family plan and it never crossed my mind to make him pay for it. He's kept good care of the phone and never misplaced it. I know my kid and he's not a big phone talker even though he'll talk your ear off in person. Vice versa, he won't ever check his email but a text gets read pretty quickly, so I got the unlimited plan. He's always been conscientious about usage. In the 14 months he's had a phone, the only time we exceeded our minutes (or even used more than 1/3!) was on vacation and he used the phone to hook up the laptop to the internet. He had permission, I just didn't realize how long he was connected.

Before he got his phone, I had sent 1 text message in my entire life. I didn't see the point. Now, I text him daily to remind him of things he needs to ask a teacher, etc. The school policy is that phones may be used before and after school or during lunch. Use in class means confiscation. That seems reasonable.

I did have to put the kibosh on using text abbreviations in spoken conversations. Don't tell me you'll BRB when UR done LOL. You've learned vocabulary words for 13 years, you can use them when you speak to me, thankyouverymuch.

Goodness, I didn't mean to write a whole book on the subject!

[Lizc]

Hubby got our son a phone when he turned 8. I thought it was ridiculous, but now I am glad for it. If I am late picking him up at school, I can call him, or if I want him to go to day care after school, I tell him to call me when he is in the day care room. We also programmed his grandma's and aunts/uncles numbers in there and he calls them when he wants to chat and they LOVE it! He has a model that has "chaperone" feature, so we can locate it any time online. Or it can text us if it leaves predesignated boundaries. They learn to be responsible when they are this young. Its the teens you have to watch out for!!! ha ha!

[Anne]

When my older kids were in sixth and eighth grade we added a phone to our plan, and they shared it as needed, depending on who was going where... that worked for about a year, then we added another phone so they each had one. My ten year old is asking for one now. I also have an eight year old, but he has no interest yet (except to play Tetris on mine!) We've been discussing it. We dropped our land line long ago and have a Cox internet phone which is $20 plus a month, and can add another line for $10 on our cell so we would probably come out ahead by dropping Cox. We have unlimited texts for all of us, incoming free, free in network, and nights start at 7. Even with two teens and myself we've never came close to using our 1000 shared minutes. The kids text mostly, and I'm okay with that (I'm a little weirded by the health worries and would rather them text!) I looked at all the different prepaids and most require a minimum amount of minutes added periodically to keep the phone active, and I think adding $10 to our plan would be cheaper, especially if I'm going to let him use it, opposed to telling him it's just for emergencies.
IF we get him one, it won't go to school with him yet.

[Josie]

I read many of the comments, but not all, so don't know if I'm repeating anyone...
My daughter is 11 and in 6th grade. She is one of two girls in her group of over a dozen that does not have a phone. She is allowed to call and text on our cell phone. My husband & I don't even have our own, we share one.
She is a very responsible girl so I don't worry about losing or breaking a phone too much. And I don't think she would go over minutes either. Because my husband likes to text, we have unlimited texting. That isn't it either.
I feel that this world moves so fast for these kids. It is too easy to quick call someone, or text them, before even thinking. I explained to her that I don't want her to have to feel the pressure of friends texting her when they are in the middle of their own drama, expecting her immediate reply. When she had her 11th birthday slumber party extravaganza I had to decide what to do with a bunch of 10 & 11 year old girls still texting boys at 11:30 at night. The phones belonged to the girls...how could I take them away? I finally asked them to end their phone use and settle down for a movie/sleep. If they hadn't, I don't know what my next step would be.
Also, since the majority of her friends have phones I know I can generally get in touch with her through one of them...although I can't. I was in a panic once when she stayed at a friend's house. I called to say I was on my way to pick her up but no one answered the phone. The other two girls with cell phones there, didn't answer either. When I got there the girls were all playing outside and the friends' phones had gone dead or were turned off. One of those girls has had her mom buy her 5 phones over the course of the last year. Either they were broken or there was just a better/cooler one out there.
My daughter does her share of texting on our phone, and I'll probably get another "house" phone in the next year. But I think my girl is actually relieved to be able to avoid some of the drama that instant communication can foster.
At 8, my son asks about a phone too. About half of his friends have one. I laugh. Let me deal with your sister first.

[Kim]

I wish I could read through all the comments, as I knew this would be a very interesting discussion. My girls are 6th & 8th grade (my younger two are 5 yrs & 1 yr).

My girls attended public school through elementary school and my oldest through 6th grade, so I know all about how they NEED a cell phone. In most cases that she tried to make for her "need" there was always a dozen more phones readily available if she needed to call. We set the mandate then for when she actually needed one, we would discuss it then.

Since that time, we have started to homeschool, so it isn't as much of an issue. I have left them with my phone during rehearsals for theater and such but it still hasn't presented that much of a need.

Here is my concern (after a lot of hot air!)...When people call here at the house (on the land line), I am aware of the person, the time of day, the time spent on the call, etc... When someone calls a child's cell phone, that same knowledge is often unknown. Their cell number is given out and then given again without the child's consent or knowledge. Now there are potential people calling or texting the child that you may or may not know at all.

A very dear friend sent her son on a mission trip with a phone and after his return it soon resulted in a very difficult situation. Several girls on the trip got his number and began texting him late into night about their "desires" and while he knew it was wrong, he was placed in a position as a 13-year old boy that was very difficult.

Eventually, he told his mother and she took the phone and the rest was history. Those explicit conversations, however are very much relevant in his young mind and heart.

I know we cannot guard them from everything but I do believe as their parents we have such a burden to do our very best ... carefully placing before them the choices and decisions that they are able to weigh and handle. Like, I don't ask my 5-year old to watch the 1-year old, but I do ask my 13-year old to watch the 5-year old. My oldest choose their clothing but we are still trying to convince the 5-year old that soccer shorts in the dead of winter are uncomfortable.

With age, there should come certain responsibilities. Is the phone a toy or a tool? Is it truly necessary or just a ploy for fitting in?

I fear if the latter represents the greatest desire for a phone, then it will result in very poor decision making when the time comes.

Thankfully, there seem to be more and more resources for adding restrictions to the phone and so when we are wading into those waters we will start very slow and shallow ;)

Thanks for posting things that we might not all agree on. It is this type of "one-anothering" that encourages us as mothers, wives, and followers of Christ. So many popular blogs have chosen to water down their content as to not offend the reader. It is so refreshing to come here and find such deliberate thought!

Blessings!